What do i do now

Hes abusive OP and you need to get out asap with your DC. Get advice from a domestic abuse helpline to do it the safest way. Don’t wait for him to declare he’s unhappy and is leaving. You’re unhappy and can take charge of what you do about it.

Good, glad he’s offering to move out, it’ll save you chucking him out! What an arsehole of a man.

Let him move out. Actually no - tell him to move it. Make it your decision. Tell him to fuck off, get out and he can think about seeing the kids when he's prepared to talk to them in a reasonable manner.

When you WFH you've to spend the time both doing housework AND sitting with him because he's finished?

He's totally unreasonable - on all of it.

I don't understand why this kind of behaviour in men seems to be increasing where they just resent anything and everything a woman does that's not centred around him, what he wants, what he says, and when he says it.

OP lighten your load and get rid of him, he's dragging you down and it won't improve.

@Isthisover88 oh PLEASE let him move out!!!! he sounds horrendous. your name should really be "isitoveryet88"

Oh, OP, you will never be able to change enough for him. Even if you greet him at the door every single day in a French Maid outfit begging for sex, you clean the house top to bottom all the time and you only work when he's out of the house - he will find another stick to beat you with.

Let him go and enjoy the peace.

Ask him what he's waiting for. The sooner he moves out the better!

Leaving aside his behaviour towards you, he is abusive towards your small DC.
Put your DC first and get rid of this vile man. If you don’t, you are tolerating the appalling treatment of your Dc.

Leaving aside his behaviour towards you, he is abusive towards your small DC.
Put your DC first and get rid of this vile man. If you don’t, you are tolerating the appalling treatment of your Dc.

He sounds utterly awful. Screaming and shouting and calling you awful names.
I would let him move out and forge a new peaceful life for yourself. This is no way to live at all.

Off he goes then , what a knob .

Why why why are you living this shit life? Tell him to go. Your children deserve a better life than they have now.

Men like your DH get so used to having their own way that they think you're desperate to stay in the marriage, for him saying he'll leave is the ultimate threat that will pull you back in line. Now I think you see he won't change, he'll get worse and it's live in misery or leave. If you tell him to go he'll be furious but it's time Op, you're an adult and he has no right to treat you like a naughty DC.
100% of 95 people think you're not being unreasonable, that's your answer

He's decided to leave already, and wants to make it look like it's your fault. He sounds awful. Please let him go and enjoy your new life without this kind of constant grief.

I have OCD and I’m not abusive, it is NOT an excuse for any of the behaviour you have described.

He has never been diagnosed with OCD ut he does have some tendencies of it.

Odious Controlling Dick. People very often look for labels to explain or excuse behaviours but very often these behaviours are just those of controlling, intolerant people who want their own way all the time. And an excuse (anything you do) to berate and shout at their victim.

Please do not consider couples counselling. It will only benefit him. And pay the counsellor's bills. If you need to speak to someone, please do so for yourself.

I'd be surprised if this is the final 'that's it, I'm off' so, as PPs have said, please take him up on this current offer (he's going to claim victimhood no matter how long it drags out so you might as well rip the plaster off) and do what you need to to start your new (better, calmer, happier) life without him

He has confused you with an employee. An employee he also has sex with.

URGH!

My partner is very similar, I relate to the shower thing and parking as had similar incidents in the past. You just keep trying to please him but there will always be something and it's very confusing as you feel like it's all your fault and you're not good enough. My self esteem is non existent so wonder if you feel the same. Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice but might help to know you're not the only person feeling this way 💐

He sounds utterly, utterly vile.

I couldn't live with this.

I bet he's cheating too (or wants to).

Oh my god, put him out on his horrible arse. Sex pest, bullying tyrant.

Off he goes then.

He is abusing you and your children. It sounds like he is in a bad place mentally but that isn’t your problem and I doubt he would admit it and seek help. He isn’t being a decent person at the moment. I think you need to get your ducks in a row (collect financial info and speak to a family solcitor) and speak to a domestic abuse charity before ending the relationship so you can do it in a way that keeps you and children safe. In the mean time if he does something which scares you don’t be afraid to called 999.

He's basically said i either change and work to his standards or he'll move out

Is this fellow threatening you with a good time?

Seriously OH. He demands you centre your work-life round him, have sex with him whenever he wants it, expects you to give up your exercise routine for his convenience, and he hurls the C word at you when you try to resolve things. Oh, and he thinks it's appropriate to yell in the face of a tiny four year old. Prepare an exit strategy so that you can take him up on his offer.

This is absolutely outrageous. He is spoiling for a fight isn’t he, what an unpleasant man. Stay strong - listen to your inner voice telling you that this is unacceptable because it 100% is unacceptable. If he wants to go - let him. I guarantee you will feel so much better in time.