MIL bathing habits

I don't use soap on my kids until puberty (when obviously they then do it themselves) unless they are particularly dirty. Flannel does an adequate job and keeps them away from yet more damaging crap for the skin to absorb.

They don't bathe/shower every day either 🙀(mainly because kids don't like bathing, I have better things to do and they aren't dirty).

Adults should know how to wash as and when they need it and shouldn't need rules. Hopefully that includes your mother in law.

Indeed.
And it is quite remarkable how much less your bits and pits smell post-menopause. Once your body stops excreting all those pheromones, it's only stale sweat that really smells - and that can be washed off with water.

Soap is very drying and older skin is drier anyway.

Yes, I'm old. Grew up with a weekly bath and my mum had often used the bath water before me. She'd put the immersion heater on once a week and use that one tank to wash laundry in the sink and run one bath.
When we could afford to heat the water every day, I would have a daily shower but she carried on with a sink wash, enjoying maybe 2 baths a week.

My kids grew up with daily bath as babies or showers when older but I've never really bothered with products when they were diddy.

My MIL (nearly 70) is exactly the same!! She would stay for about the same length of time and even when offered, has her own towel in her room etc wouldn't bath or shower. Very odd. Doesn't smell though and looks clean and well presented. Maybe we're the weird one!?

It's only the latest generations that have had the opportunity to shower every day.

Avaliability to shower phased in through the 80s/ 90s with modern housing or expensive upgrades. Many people would still have been using baths only in that era, and running a bath every day for the sake of it is wasteful of water and its heating. Strip washes are good for targeting the sweatier parts of the body and often more effective than people standing around in a shower and squirting a bit of shower gel around.

University around the Millennium was the first time I had access to a shower; modern halls with en-suite pods. My childhood was still the era of the weekly bath, with additional washes as needed. My skin and hair are both quite dry so don't need default washing at high frequency (but will have additional washes as needed)

Water is a precious resource after a very dry, warm year. For people who don't need to shower (children & older people tend to produce much less body odour) not wasting water on performative showering is good news for our depleted reservoirs. (Also re-wearing worn, but clean clothing that passes the sniff test to reduce excessive laundry)

There isn't one set standard on appropriate cleanliness. There is a range of personal need.

Of all the reasons to dislike your mil, picking on her bathing habits seems particularly petty. She's been keeping herself clean for decades more than you and presumably doesn't smell unpleasant. I've never given my mil's showering habits a thought, let alone a second one.

How do you not know that bubble bath is made from soap?

I don’t have a shower when I go to stay with my MIL. I just have a wash every day. That’s what your MIL is doing.

Bubble bath IS soap and perfectly fine for a small child.

MIL is probably having a strip wash with a flannel instead of a shower/bath. It’s pretty common for the older generation that grew up with weekly baths. If she doesn’t smell then what’s the issue?

Bubble bath IS soap. I only use soap on my pits, using soap on your bits is generally not advised as it can alter ph/cause irritation. And I regularly don’t shower every day (though I definitely do if I’ve exercised more than walking). But that is my personal choice, and others are free to theirs. I don’t smell, and my Dh/kids would def tell me if I did! Your dc’s skin certainly does not require an extra soaping - unless it is medicated/prescribed for some reason?

Maybe your bath is difficult for her to get in and out of. When my mum stays here she asks to use the shower in our en suite because the edge of the bath in our main bathroom is too high for her to step over.

Bubble bath is the same as soap more or less

This is so true. My mum only had a bath once a week if that and she always smelled lovely!

There's no need to use soap at all, water is enough.

For me, I don’t feel as though bubble bath gets you clean. I use a soap in addition, but mainly shower anyway.
That said I suspect this is up there with the debate as to whether people wash their legs and feet in the shower (of course!) or allow the soap to run off down their legs and past their feet and consider that clean.

How old is she? I know my parents found it hard to bath or shower when they got to 80 and they were scared of falling. They would wash every day at the sink.

If she doesn’t smell of body odour it’s really none of your business. And bubble bath is just liquid soap so I’m sure your daughter will survive a few baths by her grandmother.

As you are shocked by this she must not smell. A weekly bath was normal for older generations. Stop being so judgemental.

Does she smell? Yes...tell her. No...then it's no big deal.
I wouldn't shower at someone else's house either, if I was there that length of time. I'd shower before I left my house and when I arrived home.
Many older people were brought up on sink washes every day and baths once a week. If I showered every day my hair and skin would be horrific.

This. You don't need soap with bubble bath.

Depends what age she is. Some much older people do a strip wash everyday as that is how they were brought up. Does she smell? Does she have sensitive skin areas where soap may affect a skin condition etc? Don't be too judgmental. If she does smell perhaps get her some lovely soaps for gifts and tell her how much you love them and how the scent lingers. She may think you stink of cheap body spray and may be too polite and say nothing. Who knows?!

It’s not uncommon for older people to wash less. It’s only the latest generations who are obsessed with showering every day.

Umm, bubble bath IS soap. As long as she is giving "pits and bits" a good scrub while in the bath, bathing in warm soapy water is unlikely to be "gross".

Bubble bath is soap. Everyone needs something different when it comes to their bodies, does your MIL smell when she is around you?

Like others have said, bubble bath is soap and is fragranced so someone coming out of a bubble bath will be clean and smell lovely. Also if your child is young enough to still be bathed by someone then it’s v unlikely they actually smell at the end of each day as opposed to just needing a wipe to get dirt off. Which bubble bath is fine to do. I would use a flannel or sponge with it though.

I thought you were going to say she was showering with no soap or gel, and that she smelled. Not sure what your issue is!

Perhaps we are all different but I can’t go a few days without smelling. I need to shower every day. And it makes me feel good.