Remove verbally abusive boyfriend out the granny flat

That's good.

As I understand it you lent them money to buy the mobile home/unit and let them put it on your land. Did they purchase the property or you? It sounds as though you should be selling the property not them?

Reminds me of someone caught cheating, tears, begging, promises of changing and never doing it again......

Until the next time.

Tell them you don't want him on your property, and if DD contests, then she can go too.

I would also just sell it all up and move to pastures new. And seek legal advice about your estate, make it iron clad so she can’t ever contest. Records of all this toxicity.

You really need to evict her too, and give them a deadline to sort out the house. It won’t end otherwise.

Until you accept that your daughter is part and parcel of the behaviour this is going to continue. You need to evict her as well

Sadly OP, you have been played.
I know of some stories where parents were used, played and manipulated by adult children.

The parents spent years trying to play nice, get through to them, to no avail.
They wasted often up to a decade doing this, alienating their other children by indulging in the drama.

Eventually they cracked and did what needed to be done, but they wasted years and had fractured relationships with their other children, who were appalled with such needless drama and indulgence.

Get them out. She is toxic poison to you.
You tried, you did your best.

Save yourself.
Save your relationship with your other children.

Drop the rope completely.

I would consider selling up complete and making a fresh start elsewhere.

Never give her power over you again.

It's moving correctly

Oh yes I second this...

No way! She’s made her bed - now she can lie in it but off OP’s property! The daughter and her boyfriend have acted abominably and need to learn, the hard way, that actions have consequences.

Hopefully the lawyer will be on the ball and follow through with getting the pair removed from the property, backed up with some support from the police to prevent the pair harassing the OP.

What? Its the Op's building!

I think I'm out on this thread. I really do get that she's your daughter, but you keep enabling the most appalling behaviour by her and kowtowing to her demands. How far does she have to go before you face reality? If she/they sell this hut or mobile home then nothing they have shown thus far indicates you will get the money from them to repay any of your loan. Please wake up and smell the coffee and take control of the situation.

Also, I note the questions about involvement in drug taking have not been responded to. You cannot help an addict who is not at the point of wanting to help themselves if this is behind the behaviour.

Legally evict both, but let her come and live back with you.

You need to get rid of the toxic piece of shit boyfriend though.

If you only evict him, you can be guaranteed that she will sneak him back in, either blatently or behind your back, if he is coercive and controlling he will make it happen. You need to get her away from him, him being so charming and likable to you in the beginning and now he is utterly awful is just a taste of what he will have done to her.

Have you got CCTV up? Any damage to properties and cars will be a police matter and will further help your case as long as you have proof.

Can i just mention that you keep referring to it being sold. I assume its some kind of mobile home.

Who is selling it? If you are leaving that to your DD and her BF then i think you are looking at a whole heap of trouble. I can definitely see them selling it, pocketing the money and disappearing off into the sunset with a deposit for the next mug to put up with them.

If you must sell it, do it yourself, at least that way you get every penny to pay off towards the loan.

@Mumofadultkid he hasnt been evicted yet. please do not change the locks until they are evicted or eviction becomes illegal. courts take a very dim view of this. you need to get bailiffs in england or sheriff officers in scotland. go by what they say. do not try to evict them yourself.

To be fair given the behaviour you’ve been subjected to I think it was unlikely this was going to end that easily. Honestly the best solution is neither of them should stay because she will just keep letting him back in.

Those tears and that sob story will have been told time and again OP. You won’t have been the first or last to fall for it.

I’m so sorry OP. I knew from the beginning of the thread that he would just come back once evicted 🤷‍♀️ He/they are playing you and your dh for fools. You sound so genuinely lovely and don’t deserve this at all. I hope they go and you get everything back financially, but sadly I can’t see that happening. Wishing you every strength and good luck 💐

Sadly i think i can see where this saga is headed. Get ready for thread number 48 coming to a forum near you soon…

So much for his respectful acceptance to leave! They're as bad as each other.

You said the police had been put on notice and would be called if he didn’t leave. So you need to call them. Have you called them?

You can't trust anything these two say, individually or together

Evict them

Stop paying for their water, electricity etc. Cut it off and have a meter installed, or just cut it off if you can do that legally.

Boo hoo about his past. He is an adult now and he is choosing to behave like this

I am sorry but in these circumstances I would formally evict both of them from your property, as despite whatever conversations and intentions you may have had in terms of signing over, you haven’t and they haven’t kept up with payments.

If you serve an eviction notice, formally and in written form, it means they can go to the LA and request social housing using the letter as evidence - although they may have to go on a waiting list. Either way it’s not your problem. Sometimes tough parenting is needed - they are adults, they are financially challenged through their own decisions, and they can both resolve this by finding work/increasing hours and renting elsewhere.

Under no circumstances would I accept abuse from the BF and the fact that your DD stands by him means the relationship between you has already brown down. You are best to evict both of them, but tell your daughter that if she ever wants to come home (alone) that avenue is open to her (obvs with rules but you don’t need to explore those unless she comes back with her tail between her legs).

Sometimes no relationship is better than a bad relationship when it comes to our kids. But you can make clear that your door is always open if she wants to come back or wants to have a relationship with you.