Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

I’m not calling her a slag - I’m saying that’s what he will say!

Yes it’s really bad advice and a disproportionate response that’ll serve to make her look really daft
Dont call women slags. It’s pejorative & misogynistic

Met a guy 3 weeks ago. Had two very good dates
Worked in same organisation. He sent a dm after leaving. That’s workplace proximity not knowing him

Definitely don’t text him. It’s shit - there’s no way you could have seen this coming but try and forget about him. You did nothing wrong - he’s clearly after one thing.

Please don't give him the satisfaction of texting him... he clearly behaved distantly afterwards so that you would call it off and he wouldn't have to. He is cowardly and selfish and does not need the ego boost of you sending one last message to confirm h got what he wanted in every respect.

You would reach out after being treated like that? Why?

Oh I’m really sorry, this is crappy behaviour. I’d rather men were honest instead of putting on an act and pretending they we’re looking for one thing when they are only after sex. Mind you, could be any reason for his behaviour, but still crap to be treated like that.

Women don’t need to make men feel wanted or good about themselves. It’s not our responsibility to make the effort

This is shit advice. He’ll just think she’s a slag instead and feel completely vindicated in treating her like one

They worked together and he add her on social media plus asked her for a date. He persued her making her believe he wanted something more than sex.

I would reach out. I’ve came across so many men that want women to make the effort too.

I don't get why some men do this, spending so much time sending texts,videocalling, trying to appeared like nice and kind just for one night of sex. Also making the other person believe he is interested. Why to hurt someone? He could just hire a prostitute and have all the sex he wanted.. I know everybody on Mumsnet complaints about men who hire prostitutes but is just a transaction. I think it's worst what this man did. Lie and play with someone's feelings.

He certainly doesn’t deserve for her to lower herself to lying. Who cares about saving face from him, he’s a piece of nothing and nobody. Onward, chin up.

I don't think this is a good idea. It's obvious that she's doing "one final text", and it won't make OP feel better when he doesn't respond.
So sorry this happened to you OP, just dust yourself off, there are a lot of men like him who just want a conquest. Be ready for late night weekend contact from him.

calling time because I'm seeing someone else. Good knowing you, all the best
For someone trying to be nonchalant it’s a bit bulgy eyed over invested
She didn’t know him. They had 3 dates. He ghosted her.

No way! Don’t do this, it will leave you feeling so vulnerable to have revealed feelings this way.

oh god not the withering mn text. When mn recommends a middle class putdown that’ll apparently eviscerate him. Send that text, yes, Go on that’ll make him see what he’s missing

You both had good sex. He hasn’t called since. High ouch factor but least the sex was good

You did put out on 3rd date, maybe he hung around to see if the 3rd date sex was a thing…it was

In this situation, I'd send him a final quite bland text to say

"Hi, thanks for the date (don't bother mentioning the sex), just to let you know I'm calling time because I'm seeing someone else. Good knowing you, all the best"

Make it decisive and resolute - then block him, don't get tempted to get pulled back in if his poor little fragile ego is dented and he comes back whinging.

Do it 100% for you, it will give you a feeling of closure, you've pulled stumps not him, and it'll wipe the smug smirk off his face. Also you're not making a point you're giving him some facts that he can't argue with.

He's made it very, very clear that he's not interested now he's got what he wanted. What a prick, sorry OP.

Unfortunately I don't think there's any way to weed out men who are putting on an act just to get laid, without waiting months to have sex - and I personally wouldn't want to wait that long!

Sounds pretty shit. Even if he had planned to ghost you after sleeping together, at the very least he could have been polite to you while you were still there. I would just block him and move on. No need to tell him first. He'll figure it out if he ever does try to contact you again. However, if you block him, at least you close the book on this chapter right now, rather waiting to see if he does make an attempt to get back in touch.

I’d act aloof for a while, if he messages or rings, leave responding for a while and be aloof - he’ll either come back or he’ll get the message he’s been a dick. I think some blokes can be very bloke-like and shit, need some training lol … but if you felt used perhaps throw a bit back at him!

You say the sex was good, OP - that it was passionate and everything you wanted? I wonder if it wasn't everything he wanted.

It's possible he has just switched off instantly now the thrill of the chase has been gratified, as other posters have said. But personally, I'd be wondering if he had some pornographic fantasy and was sulking I hadn't performed 'as expected'. Or if he's the sort of man who was hoping he could get away without having to spend much time on your pleasure, and resents that he had to put in the effort. What you're describing could be awkwardness. Him trying to manage your expectation of now being in a real relationship, by forcing distance between you. But it could also be resentment. In your shoes, I'm not sure how I'd read it.

What's clear is that you deserve better. I wouldn't waste any more time on this guy. Whatever his problem is, it's just that. His problem. Not yours. Throw him back. There's no potential with a man who treats you this way.

He reminds me of Douglas from the IT crowd, ‘normally I can’t wait to get away from a woman after I have ejaculated in her’

I don’t think you need to worry about ending it with him, sounds like he has already ended it.