Page 7 | Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

C95 · 25/08/2025 23:56

Well done you for having more respect for yourself than your friend!

What a muppet he is. Yeah def just keeping you warm for a repeat performance.

It's heartening to read a post from a woman with actual boundaries. Good luck with the dating OP.

Original poster

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 23:53

To be fair I don’t think he’s that bothered I didn’t reply, he won’t give it a second thought come tomorrow. I’ve been on annual leave for the past 10 days, actually looking forward to going back to work in the morning and getting on with things in a routine again. As mentioned I’m not replying so don’t think I’ll have any further update. Thanks again mumsnetters.

OP posts:

Anyahyacinth · 25/08/2025 23:44

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 22:32

Thank you for your kindness.

He texted an hour ago “Recovered yet?”
(We’d had quite a bit to drink that night and the morning I left his I mentioned I was tired and hungover.)

Even the tone of his text is lazy compared to how he’d usually compose them. Usually he’d write proper sentences, and inject a bit of personality in them.
“Recovered yet?” Yeah he’s lost interest and I’m fine with that now 😊 Obviously as other posters mentioned, he’ll be in touch again just to keep me on the side as an option, but it’s too little too late now, he’s ruined the momentum.

I have not replied to him. My interest has dropped also.

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Good stick to your resolve 🌷🌷🌷

Wynter25 · 25/08/2025 23:39

Bin him. You deserve better x

TroubleMakingWitch · 25/08/2025 23:39

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 22:32

Thank you for your kindness.

He texted an hour ago “Recovered yet?”
(We’d had quite a bit to drink that night and the morning I left his I mentioned I was tired and hungover.)

Even the tone of his text is lazy compared to how he’d usually compose them. Usually he’d write proper sentences, and inject a bit of personality in them.
“Recovered yet?” Yeah he’s lost interest and I’m fine with that now 😊 Obviously as other posters mentioned, he’ll be in touch again just to keep me on the side as an option, but it’s too little too late now, he’s ruined the momentum.

I have not replied to him. My interest has dropped also.

Show quote history

I bet he was expecting a reply from you. I’m glad you ignored him! He will be itching to get a response now I bet. Leave him hanging!

BountifulPantry · 25/08/2025 23:34

Lucky you realised he wasn’t right

Original poster

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 23:28

JifNtGif · 25/08/2025 23:25

Dear me, he's well rid of you if that's your attitude

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Okay 😄

OP posts:

JifNtGif · 25/08/2025 23:25

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 22:32

Thank you for your kindness.

He texted an hour ago “Recovered yet?”
(We’d had quite a bit to drink that night and the morning I left his I mentioned I was tired and hungover.)

Even the tone of his text is lazy compared to how he’d usually compose them. Usually he’d write proper sentences, and inject a bit of personality in them.
“Recovered yet?” Yeah he’s lost interest and I’m fine with that now 😊 Obviously as other posters mentioned, he’ll be in touch again just to keep me on the side as an option, but it’s too little too late now, he’s ruined the momentum.

I have not replied to him. My interest has dropped also.

Show quote history

Dear me, he's well rid of you if that's your attitude

Queenofplants · 25/08/2025 23:21

For the people saying "dump him" or "end it", they were never in a relationship! There is nothing to dump or end.

PullTheBricksDown · 25/08/2025 23:11

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 22:32

Thank you for your kindness.

He texted an hour ago “Recovered yet?”
(We’d had quite a bit to drink that night and the morning I left his I mentioned I was tired and hungover.)

Even the tone of his text is lazy compared to how he’d usually compose them. Usually he’d write proper sentences, and inject a bit of personality in them.
“Recovered yet?” Yeah he’s lost interest and I’m fine with that now 😊 Obviously as other posters mentioned, he’ll be in touch again just to keep me on the side as an option, but it’s too little too late now, he’s ruined the momentum.

I have not replied to him. My interest has dropped also.

Show quote history

Sudden lazy text at 9.30 on a Sunday? That's a chance-your-arm see if she's up for a booty call move that doesn't cost him any effort. Good call to just not reply.

Your friend who thinks you're overreacting - honestly, the bar is on the FLOOR

UnlimitedBacon · 25/08/2025 23:11

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 25/08/2025 23:01

This is all a bit too much drama and introspection
He sent a casual text. That’s not a cue for discourse analysis of recovered yet and his motives.
You had 3 dates, you don’t actually know him. It wasn’t a relationship. It was three date dating
Clearly he’s not pursuing you for another date, but you’re not interested, no big deal

Well you know him even less than the OP. So perhaps it’s a case of accepting that’s how SHE felt about her interactions. Because regardless of what any of us might surmise, she has developed an awareness of him over her short dating life with this man, that is probably hard to clinically put into words.

when we interact with other humans, our senses work overtime to build opinions. It’s very difficult to put all of that non verbal data into words, but the impressions we glean from the signals people choose to give out are really important. Telling someone who has clearly tried to be fair and balanced in her descriptions, that she’s ‘dramatic’ says a whole lot more about out you than it does the Op.

UnlimitedBacon · 25/08/2025 23:04

@KookySnailim glad you are trusting your instinct here. It’s so disappointing that he’s behaved like this, but you are showcasing exactly what strong boundaries and healthy self esteem looks like. Keep on keeping on!

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 25/08/2025 23:04

Phatgurslyms · 25/08/2025 22:58

He went to all that trouble to get you into bed? Stalking you from your last job even. You must be a catch and he knows you are out of his league which is why he had to put on an act. What a wanker.

Edited

Stalking is unwanted,persistent contact. One sided and not mutual
He sent a DM, she accepted. They then initiated contact. Thats mutual & consensual

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 25/08/2025 23:01

This is all a bit too much drama and introspection
He sent a casual text. That’s not a cue for discourse analysis of recovered yet and his motives.
You had 3 dates, you don’t actually know him. It wasn’t a relationship. It was three date dating
Clearly he’s not pursuing you for another date, but you’re not interested, no big deal

Phatgurslyms · 25/08/2025 22:58

He went to all that trouble to get you into bed? Stalking you from your last job even. You must be a catch and he knows you are out of his league which is why he had to put on an act. What a wanker.

hmmnotreallysure · 25/08/2025 22:54

Yeah he's a dick op. Well done for realising your worth and not messaging back.

KidsDoBetter · 25/08/2025 22:52

What a prick

Lolopolo · 25/08/2025 22:48

What a crappy message. He’s a charmer isn’t he? I just could not be bothered to reply to that. That’s a message you’d send to a fuck buddy ffs.

Original poster

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 22:32

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 25/08/2025 22:17

Has he messaged you since you last posted?

Actually it doesn't matter because you are worth so much more than him and his shitty behaviour ❤️ You do sound level headed and strong so hold out for the one who treats you like the queen that you are 👑

Show quote history

Thank you for your kindness.

He texted an hour ago “Recovered yet?”
(We’d had quite a bit to drink that night and the morning I left his I mentioned I was tired and hungover.)

Even the tone of his text is lazy compared to how he’d usually compose them. Usually he’d write proper sentences, and inject a bit of personality in them.
“Recovered yet?” Yeah he’s lost interest and I’m fine with that now 😊 Obviously as other posters mentioned, he’ll be in touch again just to keep me on the side as an option, but it’s too little too late now, he’s ruined the momentum.

I have not replied to him. My interest has dropped also.

OP posts:

namechangetheworld · 25/08/2025 22:25

He was either a) using you for sex or b) didn't enjoy the sex as much as you think he did.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 25/08/2025 22:17

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 17:28

Thank you Jan that’s very nice to hear ☺️😘

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Has he messaged you since you last posted?

Actually it doesn't matter because you are worth so much more than him and his shitty behaviour ❤️ You do sound level headed and strong so hold out for the one who treats you like the queen that you are 👑

SaratogaFilly · 25/08/2025 17:59

Sadly it sounds like he totally used you for sex so I doubt you’ll hear from him again. Sorry Op.

Original poster

KookySnail · 25/08/2025 17:28

jano69 · 25/08/2025 17:19

You write so well too, balanced and articulate. You sound very level headed.

Thank you Jan that’s very nice to hear ☺️😘

OP posts:

jano69 · 25/08/2025 17:19

You write so well too, balanced and articulate. You sound very level headed.

jano69 · 25/08/2025 17:18

You sounds absolutely lovely @KookySnail. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to see yon again just based on the level of respect you have for yourself. Absolutely his loss.