Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

Good for you OP. You have maintained your dignity and self-respect. You deserve better than an immature twat like that

😂 he has progressed to an almost sentence, given a week OP he might have even written you a love text, beautifully arranged in Iambic pentameter but equally as vapid.

How utterly disappointing.

How easily solved (by him).

And really, how easy to not create this disappointment in the first place (also by him).

I genuinely don’t understand how men get themselves into these situations. Have they never met a woman before? Have they never read an article, had a conversation with anyone?

Ha! Well done. His lack of effort since that night is woeful.

Reminiscent of Shakespeare! Seriously, you'd think if he wants another shag he could get beyond a few words that make you out to be deficient (have you recovered, are you not speaking now..)

Limit yourself OP - another half-hour max at the office, then go home and pour yourself a drink 😃

good

Oh classic male statement you not talking now lol
Anyway serves him right his loss and you have come off much better than him.
Thanks for your update op and all the best.

Ooh you may have bruised his ego by not chasing him…Goodo, he needs to do better with whoever he goes for next

I think you will only hear from him the next time he wants a shag when he texts you will already have plans he sounds like a prick and you clearly deserve better OP I’m sorry it didn’t go as you had hoped and thought it would

Has he made further contact since op

Well what a charmer making contact again referring only to the sex says everything about him.

You understand how a discursive forum works? Op invite opinion.Posters post.
I can (and will) post that imo this is overly dramatic response just as others are posting effusively how formidable the op is.

We all read the original post the updates and based in that we formulate a response. My responses are as legitimate as anyone else . You’re not compelled to agree, inevitably in seeking opinions there will be a range.

Nonetheless, only one participant is posting.We don’t have the man perspective.None of us know if the op is being balanced or fair. In all likelihood she isn’t being objective or neutral, because as humans we usually construct a narrative favourable to ourselves. Self reporting bias is conscious and unconscious and obviously has a protective function.

This is so well put! I very much agree. Even when having one night stands it's up to BOTH consenting adults to be clear about their intentions and to be nice to each other, rather than just suddenly being all cold, rude and distant. There's no need to be rude when intentions are communicated in an honest way. I've had ONS and FWB arrangements and still been nice and respectful to the other person in the morning and I expect the same treatment from the other person. It's a perfectly reasonable expectation.

People can also change their minds about what they want from a relationship or encounter, as long as they communicate that clearly, politely and honestly rather than just being rude and expecting the other person to realise.

Men should be capable of honest and open communication, it shouldn't be all on women to try and guess their intentions or weed them out be withholding sex etc.

I feel quite invested in this- I think because it has actually happened to me on more than once occasion in the past. Guy has seemed really invested, put in lots of effort and pursued me and then immediately changed after sex.

I am sorry it happened to you! I think it is slimy and dishonest and you deserve way better.

I hope he does not text you again

All his text does it try to draw you in to see if you're still 'talking' to him so he can keep you as a booty call

Agree with @HerLivingontheHill

OP, I had something similar in that a guy changed the way he texted me, but it was for the opposite reason. I didn’t sleep with him since he was unable to clarify our relationship and he was very annoyed. I feel his ego was probably bruised.

So he started sending very short texts and didn’t use my name whereas before he used to say “hey Batelyboo” then write a few well constructed sentences or even call me.

Shortly after he went completely silent and had the nerve to contact me 2 months later, probably checking if he still had any kind of access to me . “Just checking to see how you are” didn’t use my name and no mention of how he went of the radar for 2 months!

Of course , I ignored him completely at that point and ever since.

After I didn’t sleep with him I’d only maintained contact as I thought we might be friends of some sort.

However his behaviour in the weeks following that totally repulsed me and showed his character and true intentions regarding me so he is no friend of mine and doesn’t deserve a response.

Absolutely this.
Don't block him.
Just leave him on unread.
He's scum.
At least you know.
Move on.
Don't be one bit surprised if his interest perks up again.
🤢🤮

I like to think he is sat there staring at the unanswered half arsed-not-even-a-coherent-sentence text, utterly bewildered to not have received a comprehensive, eye lash fluttering and demure reply, hinting at his sexual prowess and begging to see him again.

Long may he sit and wait for this to never come. Arsehat.

She’s explained why upthread.

People should have sex when they want but I know there is a better chance of filtering out users by waiting to determine if we are on the same page.

But wait how long?

I slept with my DH on our 3rd date.

We've now been married over 30 years.

You can't date with a crystal ball.

Getting hurt and finding a man just wanted sex is a risk you take.

He could wait 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or longer and still dump you after he'd 'got what he wanted'.

@KookySnail His rather pathetic 'recovered yet' text was testing the water.

IF you had replied (and great that you haven't) he'd have taken that as you being someone who sets the bar very low and who he can pick up and drop according to his whims.

What a truly good man should have done is make sure you'd got home safely and even if he didn't want see you again, should have said thanks for your company but sorry, he doesn't want to take it any further.

All his text does it try to draw you in to see if you're still 'talking' to him so he can keep you as a booty call.

Keep strong- you've got your head screwed on.

I think it’s on men to be honest.

I think men should not manipulate.

I also realise we have to live in the world as it is not how we wish it was.

People should have sex when they want but I know there is a better chance of filtering out users by waiting to determine if we are on the same page.

OP why did you stay the night?

Stay strong, he is definitely one to ignore.💐

I’m just 55 both my long term partnerships we’d slept with other after a week or two I think…playing control games is just pathetic in my view. Male or female. He didn’t cherish you that’s enough to bin him off x