Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

What a horror. Urgh, he sounds horrible. You are not being U. You deserve someone much better.

I agree with many posts and think you are better off without him OP. Do you know if he really was going to the gym or maybe it was another date he had set up that evening? Weird to get up at 7am just to work out when there doesn’t seem to be many other pressing obligations he had lined up, especially on a lazy Sunday. Just the way you wrote he wasn’t getting too much in the conversation as you were waiting for the uber. I think he was hiding his real plans. He is a user.

Ugh! That sounds horrible OP, sorry that happened. I would not be expecting any further contact from him. The evening out around the corner from him sounds like it could have been a bit of a set up too. I'd not want to see him again even if he did get in contact.

Agree - If I told my friends this they'd be livid on my behalf!

Yeah, unless he does something pdq to show otherwise, I think he just wanted a shag and now can't be arsed with you

Honestly I don't know OP, he might just have been in "work mode." I guess you'll find out soon based on how/whether he follows up.

I dont think you need to worry about writing him off so much as he has done that with you already. Sad but true he got what he wanted and is moving on.

On a positive note, at least he has shown you his true colours early on. Bin him. Don't message him, he will see through it and it could turn nasty.

Block

My friend is on the online dating and this happens a lot. It seems the "3rd date" is the unwritten rule. As others have said there is no way of actually knowing what they are after.

You should trust your instincts. In my limited experience with men... after you have sex with them the first time, they can't wait to do it again if they really like you, and as such he would have set the alarm for 6:45! Some men are less cuddly and affectionate so I could maybe excuse that behaviour to a point, but you know when someone is really into you and he is not displaying the signs. Whatever you do, don't message him and let him do some serious chasing before you even consider giving him another shot. But my advice would ignore him and move on.

Exactly.This type of advice is terrible, childish and undignified. Blocking or ignoring is the way forward.

i don’t think you will hear from him again

Also please don’t listen to the “you should have waited longer” posts, I know people who slept together on the first date who are still together, there are sneaky men out there who will happily play the long game and still go ghost.
It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do , it’s about who they are and he sounds like a shit.

What’s that saying “no one is nicer to you than a man who hasn’t slept with you yet”
I mean maybe I could understand the jumping out of bed in the morning because he has plans and is blindly just thinking about his day ahead with mates but to boot you out to go to the gym at the crack of dawn and the turning his back on you after the first time you have sex is shitty, I wouldn’t see him again either.

Lucelady Its good that you have been happily married 40 years and you had your Diamond within 8 weeks .However life today is not the same as 40 years ago!Even if she waited a similar time as you .I doubt marriage or a long RL would be on the cards somehow.I have been married a long time too and my own DD has similar experiences to report .Many young guys dont want LT RL it seems .Although one would hope they would treat their GF with some respect!

Don't send him any messages saying it was 'disappointing'. God that is so embarrassing and unless he is really thick, he will see right through it.

Message him: Sorry but last night was disappointing so I'll leave it there. All the best.

Yep write him off, no decent guy would have rushed you out the door the morning after. Leave him bewildered when you aren’t reaching out to him.

I had a similar experience recently when I was dating. Had seen a guy a couple of times and went round for a meal/sex. We had slept together before and it was fine. He'd spend all evening going on about relationships even though I said I didn't think we were compatible in that way - just sexually. Anyway, we had sex and he practically threw me out after! Yelled 'Don't fall asleep!' while I was still naked in his bed! So I left and I was upset - decided not to see him again. Of course he contacts me again. Wants a repeat. I say no thanks and he just couldn't fathom why I was peeved at all! He then was obsessed with me for a while and constantly texted. He was a twit.

Ignore the puritans on this thread also. Making him wait for a certain number of dates/times is pointless and doesn't prove anything. You are wasting your own time by doing that as the sex could be shit and he could still have been playing you the whole time. Have sex when you're ready. It will be a risk after one night or 6 months.

Yes you are right. He doesn't deserve it.

So he could be affectionate before sex but mot after? C'mon! One of my exes advised me he couldn't help himself but he falls asleep very fast after sex and he wasn't me to feel disrespected but he hugged me all night!
OP date just used her, why he didn't try to have sex again in the morning or having breakfast together at his place or outside? He seems a player.

He sounds like a total player.

I would get ahead of him and knock his player confidence and message to say,

“nice to get to know you but on reflection, the sex was really terrible, you hadn’t said anything before because you didn’t want to be rude, but you really couldn’t see yourself signing up for anymore since it was so bad”