Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

Can you recommend those podcasts please?

I only say this as a woman in my 40s looking back at some of what I got up to when I was in my 20s and 30s- why not wait a few months? Who cares if it's not really how other people do things? If you want something more than casual and you know your sensitive and can get hurt, why not get to know him over several months first?

I also get what you mean about wanting to see if your sexually compatible but the other side of that is- what if a guy is just nervous, you might think nah he's not for me, but if you wait and get to know each other the sex might be ten times better than if you did it early on when not knowing each other.

“He knows I don’t have casual sex and hadn’t slept with anyone for over 6 months”

Men like this don’t care. Their needs are paramount. You can tell them you don’t have casual sex and they literally. do. not. care.

As some podcasters I listen to say “Pull up the P*ssy drawbridge” and filter men like this out.

I think even if you’d waited until after an another couple of dates the outcome would have been the same. He is rude. I’ve had better behaviour from ONSs.

I like the idea of sending him a message. Tell him he was really off with you this morning so you won’t be seeing him again.

Your friends sound young and like they need to read “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

I don’t think you need to worry about what to say as I doubt you will hear from him again.

If he does try to message you again it will
be at about 10/11pm and he will ask what you are up to and if you want to meet up.

Sorry about this one but you need to put him in the bin.

This is great to read, full respect to you! Hopefully he learnt something from you.

I agree with a lot of this, why not build up a relationship and get to know someone before having sex? Would save a lot of heartache like this.

Also agree with a PP about men who are really into you, will make breakfast, go out to get coffee, take you for brunch etc and frankly make you feel a bit more special than this dick who just made the OP feel like crap.

You're not being unreasonable.

At least the sex wasn't terrible? I'm looking for an upside here.

But really, he's an arse, I wouldn't even reply to him after that treatment.

I think he might be scared of his own feelings OP. Some people are serial avoiders when faced with their own vulnerabilities. However, I’m not excusing his behaviour, and you need to look after your own interests. Perhaps he’s not in the market for a serious relationship. I wouldn’t block him, as some others have suggested. Wait it out and then make a decision as to whether you want to proceed - you hold the power. Take care.

I'm sorry, OP, but he sounds exactly like a guy who was just aiming to have sex with you and, bam, done.

And, tbh, it is casual sex after a couple of weeks of texting and on the third date. It may not have felt like that to you, but for men like this, it absolutely is.

I think your friend is wrong. He may not even contact you again but if he does I would ignore him. Same as he did with you after sex

Forget about him. It sounds as though he used you. I doubt he’ll contact you please don’t contact him.

If he does don’t answer him or even better tell him his behaviour is gross. More people should call men out on their bad behaviour.

He sounds like a player. I’ve met one or two like that. It’s like someone flipped a switch. I’m very much what you see is what you get so I find that sort of behaviour really unsettling. You’re not overreacting

I know you don’t want to contact him but I honestly would send a text saying it’s not working for me. Not saying anything will come across as you don’t care (fair enough) but sending a text saying you don’t want anything further would be more satisfying and would be taking control of the situation. (For me anyway).

Don't feel used. It felt right. You had a good time. Sex was passionate. Move on. He's a player!

She’s not 8 😂, that’s a really immature thing to say to him. Playground vibes to me!

And I don’t think he’d care either, he’ll see right through it. If he’s deliberately acting cold to get rid of her, he’ll be delighted.

I've been guilty of this OP - flirtation for ages then once we've had sex it's just out my system and I've lost interest. However I've never lead them on to think it was going to be a relationship. I don't know if he's done it consciously or otherwise but unless you want to risk getting into a fwb or "booty call" set up where he's in touch when he wants to get laid again I'd sack him off.

This

Wow. That's hard to take considering what seemed to be building to be a nice relationship where you both genuinely hit it off.
Clearly his loss OP, he treated you awfully. As a pp says, the positive bit is that you know now and won't waste anymore time on him.
The only exception I'd make is if he came to you now, apologised and somehow (!) explained his horrible behaviour and it never recurred. But I'm afraid chances of this are less than miniscule.

Is he very ugly? Because ha had to fake a lot, calling you x times, texting, meeting you just for ONS.

Chalk it up to experience and move on. If he has made you feel this way for WHATEVER reason, this early on, it’s best just to walk away. I am sorry a nice guy has about turned and become a dick, but it happens. Keep your self respect and move on x