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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they’re charged their number?

58 replies

whatseriesnext · 24/08/2025 22:25

I haven’t spoken to my sister for 5 months. I tried to call today and it went straight to voicemail “welcome to the O2 messaging service, the person you’ve called is unavailable, leave a message”

I have a new number (my phone was stolen a few weeks back) so I’m not blocked. She’s also not someone who ever has her phone off.

I’ve tried yesterday and today with the same result.

OP posts:
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Alltheyellowbirds · 25/08/2025 14:08

NoVibrato · 25/08/2025 12:25

Simple suggestions that have already been made multiple times (have you tried ANY of these?):

  1. Leave a message on the voicemail
  2. Text her with your new contact details
  3. (Gasp) put pen to paper and write her a note with the new contact details and post the letter.
  4. If you're in a reasonable distance, go round to her last known address and try to speak to her!

Have you done any of these things OP? People keep asking and suggesting but I think you’ve got a bit side-tracked getting cross with other posters.

Edited to say - I see you did actually answer this post but you still didn’t say if you’d tried all these things.

NewTheBat68 · 25/08/2025 14:02

OP, we obviously don’t know the full details of your relationship, but unless you answer the basic questions people are asking, it’s hard to understand why you’re not trying the simple things. Right now, the advice you’re getting is being met with a bit of defensiveness but you came here for help.

  1. You said she lived with a boyfriend but they’ve broken up. Could you contact him, or if you’re really worried, go to his place? See if he has any details?
  2. Does she have any friends you could reach out to?
  3. Do you know where she works?

If it really is a dead line, then it sounds like she’s changed her number. No point in continuing to try that way.

NoVibrato · 25/08/2025 12:50

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 12:36

She was living with her boyfriend but they’ve broken up and she moved out. I don’t know where. Were also a long drive from each other so I don’t know who her circle are in that area.

Show quote history

But you still haven't said whether you've tried to text her or leave a voicemail!

Original poster
whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 12:36

NoVibrato · 25/08/2025 12:25

Simple suggestions that have already been made multiple times (have you tried ANY of these?):

  1. Leave a message on the voicemail
  2. Text her with your new contact details
  3. (Gasp) put pen to paper and write her a note with the new contact details and post the letter.
  4. If you're in a reasonable distance, go round to her last known address and try to speak to her!

She was living with her boyfriend but they’ve broken up and she moved out. I don’t know where. Were also a long drive from each other so I don’t know who her circle are in that area.

OP posts:
PhilippaGeorgiou · 25/08/2025 12:31

So the OP would rather argue with posters here than actually do anything obvious - so obvious that it didn't need a post. Yeah right. I think what is obvious is nothing to do with phones.

plumpunnet · 25/08/2025 12:27

She has blocked you ?

NoVibrato · 25/08/2025 12:25

Simple suggestions that have already been made multiple times (have you tried ANY of these?):

  1. Leave a message on the voicemail
  2. Text her with your new contact details
  3. (Gasp) put pen to paper and write her a note with the new contact details and post the letter.
  4. If you're in a reasonable distance, go round to her last known address and try to speak to her!
CinderBlockandCustard · 25/08/2025 12:19

It's also possible that if you changed your number without telling her, she's been messaging/ calling your old number in the last few weeks and thinks you've been ignoring her.

Feenduvetcover · 25/08/2025 12:18

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 12:17

Well tell me how it’s relevant.

Show quote history

Did you text her and tell her it was you phoning and this was your new number?

Original poster
whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 12:17

TickyandTacky · 25/08/2025 12:02

It's not irrelevant though. That's why people are mentioning it.

You continue being difficult though. Clearly wanting to argue rather than take on board the very many suggestions you've been given but ignore.

Show quote history

Well tell me how it’s relevant.

OP posts:
CinderBlockandCustard · 25/08/2025 12:10

Write her a letter and include your new phone number. She might be deliberately ignoring calls from unknown numbers. If she has got a new phone for some reason and not let you know, texting her would be a bit pointless anyway. I doubt she has both changed her phone number and moved house without telling you so a letter should reach her. If she ignores it or has moved out without giving you her new address then that unfortunately tells you a lot about how she views the relationship and you will just have to wait for her to make the next move.

Velmy · 25/08/2025 12:06

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:40

What does saying I don’t need to change my number add to the aibu?

Show quote history

Why won't you say if you left a message or sent a txt?

DinaofCloud9 · 25/08/2025 12:03

fthisfthatfeverything · 25/08/2025 11:53

What is happening to people 🤷‍♀️

Yep the rudeness is so unnecessary.

TickyandTacky · 25/08/2025 12:02

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:39

Telling me I didn’t change my number wasn’t a simple suggestion. It was argumentative about a point that’s entirely irrelevant to any part of this.

I haven’t been “arsey” to any simple suggestion. People still use that word? Odd.

Show quote history

It's not irrelevant though. That's why people are mentioning it.

You continue being difficult though. Clearly wanting to argue rather than take on board the very many suggestions you've been given but ignore.

Feenduvetcover · 25/08/2025 11:58

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:40

What does saying I don’t need to change my number add to the aibu?

Show quote history

Why can’t you just text her saying “hi Susan it’s Anna. I’ve got a new number. Was trying to ring you for a chat/to let you know how well the kids did in their exams/the dog died and can’t get through. Can you drop me a message or give me a wee ring when you get this.”?

fthisfthatfeverything · 25/08/2025 11:53

What is happening to people 🤷‍♀️

PhilippaGeorgiou · 25/08/2025 11:52

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:40

What does saying I don’t need to change my number add to the aibu?

Show quote history

It adds "transfer your number then people who have it knows it is you and not a stranger calling, plus people who have your number can call you". What does posting on a website about not having spoken to your sister for five months then expecting her to just pick up a call from a strange number when you could (a) keep your old number or (b) leave sodding message like the voicemail said to or (c) send a text add to your situation? Did you think she might see the post and give you a call?

AnotherDayAnotherDog · 25/08/2025 11:48

Try every possible means of contacting her, including writing a letter and going round to her home, if you are worried about her safety. If you think she’s changed her number to avoid you, that’s another matter.

laughingnow · 25/08/2025 11:45

Drop her a line with your address on the back

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 25/08/2025 11:44

Why don't you just send her a text? Confused

Original poster
whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:40

PhilippaGeorgiou · 25/08/2025 11:11

You were rude to people trying to suggest things based on the post you posted. It's perfectly reasonable to point out that a stolen phone doesn't mean you had to change your number, so people who might screen calls don't ignore your calls. Especially if you don't contact them for 5 months, so aren't really expecting any calls from you, never mind from an urecognised number. Why didn't you leave a message like it said?

If you speak to your sister like this, I think ignoring you might be reasonable though.

Show quote history

What does saying I don’t need to change my number add to the aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 11:39

TickyandTacky · 25/08/2025 10:32

It's more the arsey nature of your replies to other posters and their simple suggestions. You just have that tone and a massive chip on your shoulder.

Show quote history

Telling me I didn’t change my number wasn’t a simple suggestion. It was argumentative about a point that’s entirely irrelevant to any part of this.

I haven’t been “arsey” to any simple suggestion. People still use that word? Odd.

OP posts:
PhilippaGeorgiou · 25/08/2025 11:11

whatseriesnext · 25/08/2025 09:56

Yes of course, you’re such a genius that you understand an entire complex situation of children growing up in care, returning home and ending up back in the care system, dealing with abuse, carrying that trauma into adulthood, watching a loved one decide to destroy themselves because really the only person that could ever help them is themselves - all from just a few sentences written by a complete stranger. Incredible.

Show quote history

You were rude to people trying to suggest things based on the post you posted. It's perfectly reasonable to point out that a stolen phone doesn't mean you had to change your number, so people who might screen calls don't ignore your calls. Especially if you don't contact them for 5 months, so aren't really expecting any calls from you, never mind from an urecognised number. Why didn't you leave a message like it said?

If you speak to your sister like this, I think ignoring you might be reasonable though.

TheEllisGreyMethod · 25/08/2025 11:04

Is she on holiday? I always put my phone on airplane mode when I'm away.
Or hers has been stolen too.

BIWI · 25/08/2025 10:43

DID YOU LEAVE A MESSAGE?

Shouting, because you seem not to have heard this oft-asked question.

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