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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I wrong for getting offended?

30 replies

Janelizzy · 24/08/2025 21:27

I recently matched with a man on Hinge. After exchanging a few texts, he was ready to ask about my availability for a date, so I informed him that we should have a phone call before making any plans. He agreed and decided to call me that day.

The conversation started off well. I shared a story about my teenage years, explaining how I told my parents one thing but did another. He then accused me of being a liar, saying, “Oh, so you’re a liar too.” He suggested we meet at a bookstore, but when I told him I don’t enjoy reading, he remarked, “Oh, I could tell you don’t read.” Then he told me he didn’t mean it like that, and how it was a joke etc …

I also told him that I was going to California for a month, he replied saying “no one goes to California for a month. I told him that I have family out there so I do it often. He replied saying “yup keep telling yourself that, maybe I’ll believe it”

I know that I am overly sensitive sometimes but I just didn’t find it funny? Especially not from someone I just met, that wants to take me out the next day.

It made me wonder why someone would spend time on the phone with someone they perceive as beneath them. He apologized for his remark but still insisted on going on a date today.

The whole experience felt like a humbling session. Why do men behave this way?

OP posts:
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GreyCarpet · 25/08/2025 00:33

I wouldn't have been offended but I wouldn't have met him either.

He's a moron.

swingingbytheseat · 25/08/2025 00:21

You’re not an intellectual match, he’s extraordinarily ignorant and a bit intimidated by you

DogsandFlowers · 25/08/2025 00:19

Pigsinblankets13 · 24/08/2025 21:48

FANTASTIC WELL DONE YOU
ON TO THE NEXT ONE
X

YES WELL DONE 👍 FOR FILTERING OUT A RIGHT FUCKING ARSE WIPE
AND REMOVING HIM FROM YOUR SOCIALS!!!

WickedElpheba · 24/08/2025 22:13

Yeah any one of those comments alone I might put down to not knowing what to say but all together... no

Thepossibility · 24/08/2025 22:11

Gosh I think I would've been shouting at him in frustration after the California comment. It IS offensive to imply you're a liar, especially over something as mundane as where your own family bloody lives.
I'm glad he's in the bin where he belongs.

RentalWoesNotFun · 24/08/2025 22:05

Youre not at fault. Hes a weirdo. Probably a misogynistic arsehole (that you've booted correctly)!

DontStopMeNowGoodTime · 24/08/2025 21:56

Janelizzy · 24/08/2025 21:51

Some others were telling me that I was being too sensitive and that men sometime say bad jokes. How I should have not took it to heart

One bad joke, possibly, but three? No. He was negging and and utter prick. Don't doubt yourself!

Janelizzy · 24/08/2025 21:51

Sparklesandspandexgallore · 24/08/2025 21:45

He sounds like a complete and utter dickhead.
Well done, you have successfully filtered him out.

Some others were telling me that I was being too sensitive and that men sometime say bad jokes. How I should have not took it to heart

OP posts:
Pigsinblankets13 · 24/08/2025 21:48

Janelizzy · 24/08/2025 21:41

NO I DID NOT GO ON A DATE WITH HIM AND I REMOVED HIM FROM MY SOCIALS

FANTASTIC WELL DONE YOU
ON TO THE NEXT ONE
X

Arlanymor · 24/08/2025 21:47

@Janelizzy no need to shout at us - this is what you wrote, verbatim, including the US spelling of apologized: "He apologized for his remark but still insisted on going on a date today." So you can see why people thought you did...

Sparklesandspandexgallore · 24/08/2025 21:45

He sounds like a complete and utter dickhead.
Well done, you have successfully filtered him out.

Janelizzy · 24/08/2025 21:41

NO I DID NOT GO ON A DATE WITH HIM AND I REMOVED HIM FROM MY SOCIALS

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 24/08/2025 21:41

He's a prick. Don't go on a date

steff13 · 24/08/2025 21:40

I think "offended" is an odd reaction, but I'd be annoyed.

I actually hate when people do this. I told a friend I got pulled over but I didn't get a ticket. He asked me if I cried (to garner sympathy to get out of the ticket). I said no, because I didn't. He said, "yeah you did." I'm an honest person and I don't like the implication that I'm not. I have a female friend who does the same kind of thing. It's weird.

HeronPond · 24/08/2025 21:40

Surely you didn’t go on a date with this fool?

DiscoBob · 24/08/2025 21:37

He sounds like a tosser. I hope you binned him off. Imagine thinking that shit is funny? This is how he acts before he's even met you.

Pigsinblankets13 · 24/08/2025 21:36

Every crevice of my body would have shrivelled up
What an arrogant arse slit, grow up

Arlanymor · 24/08/2025 21:36

So you introduced the phone call prior to the date to filter out potential weirdos. And it worked - you filtered him out. At least I hope you did, because one of your previous posts suggested you went on a date with him today? Why on earth would you do that? He sounds an idiot and even if all of his crap comments were 'jokes' - you're clearly not well-matched, why bother with a date and waste both of your times?

LavenderBlue19 · 24/08/2025 21:35

I think we know why he's single...

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 24/08/2025 21:34

No wonder he is single. Rude and thick.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 24/08/2025 21:34

I'm picturing him smirking whilst saying all of this and it's made me dry up feel quite ill.

MamaElephantMama · 24/08/2025 21:33

Is have hung up and blocked him before he could say half of those things.

HardworkSendHelp · 24/08/2025 21:32

That gave me the absolute ick reading that. What a dick! You are def not being sensitive.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/08/2025 21:32

He’s just not the man for you, it’s not ‘men’ it’s that man.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 24/08/2025 21:31

What a bore, and pretty thick if he thinks you’ll be impressed by his insults.