Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

434 replies

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

OP posts:
Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 22:16

FullOfLemons · 24/08/2025 22:10

Unfortunately no place is perfect. I think you just have to pick the problems you can live with

Burford is full of tourists and Marlow suffers from the planes bringing them here.

😂 Good insight. Thanks for this.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 24/08/2025 22:15

@Beboopbadoopie If it's any consolation OP my town made it into this piece of illustrious literature. Although it does remain a source of local pride to us!

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?
IwanttotakeyoutoaNailaBar · 24/08/2025 22:13

People are suggesting towns that are too big.

Bordon in Hampshire is more like it. People are snobby about it because surrounding towns are some if the most desirable in the SE. It’s got some if the best open countryside and the new housing has been done really well. It’s got no train line so doesn’t attract thd commuters ( apparently this is a bad thing 😂)

Ticktockk · 24/08/2025 22:13

Is it a town between Christchurch and Lymington??

Saltedtoffee · 24/08/2025 22:12

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 20:07

Would you mind not generalising.

I come from a real s**thole down South so would never judge🤣
The only good point some would say is you can get whatever you want there 😬

Twiglets1 · 24/08/2025 22:11

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 22:08

The thing is we are happy here but those comments do make me question our choice to live here, even though we are happy! We have looked for other houses in other areas and could actually afford to live elsewhere but when it comes to actually properly thinking about moving I just keep coming back to his convenient it is and how my son loves the local park etc (and also our low mortgage 😂) but the comments make me wobble and I don't want my sons to be looked down on.

The town isn't dangerous, people are friendly and say hello when they walk past. There are slightly rough areas and definitely drugs about but I think there are drugs everywhere (even in the very naice postcard pretty town I grew up in!)

I can definitely think of places where the biggest drug problem is the number of OAPs using up all the NHS resources on their statins & antibiotics, etc.

FullOfLemons · 24/08/2025 22:10

Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 21:54

I do sometimes wonder if there's anywhere in the UK that's immune to this negativity? I'm looking to move back to England, London home counties, and am struggling to decide where because of this

Anything I should know about Burford or Marlow?Grin

Unfortunately no place is perfect. I think you just have to pick the problems you can live with

Burford is full of tourists and Marlow suffers from the planes bringing them here.

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 22:08

The thing is we are happy here but those comments do make me question our choice to live here, even though we are happy! We have looked for other houses in other areas and could actually afford to live elsewhere but when it comes to actually properly thinking about moving I just keep coming back to his convenient it is and how my son loves the local park etc (and also our low mortgage 😂) but the comments make me wobble and I don't want my sons to be looked down on.

The town isn't dangerous, people are friendly and say hello when they walk past. There are slightly rough areas and definitely drugs about but I think there are drugs everywhere (even in the very naice postcard pretty town I grew up in!)

OP posts:
scalt · 24/08/2025 22:07

A certain town is best known for a train crash, and because of its elderly population, has been nicknamed "God's waiting room".

NuovaPilbeam · 24/08/2025 22:05

Is it wycombe

Maybe not actually. More than 3 cafes there

KickHimInTheCrotch · 24/08/2025 22:05

Is it Bridgwater or Shepton Mallett? Well known for being the shitest towns in Somerset.

TwoBeeFrank · 24/08/2025 22:05

Small minded snobs. Ignore them.

Theresagutinmycrack · 24/08/2025 22:05

JustPassingThruHere · 24/08/2025 21:58

My MIL gets so offended when her DB says she lives in the slums. She lives in the middle of Leicester in a terrace since 1970s which they haven't even maintained and, as bad as the city is, their house is the worst on the street.

Should we all feel compelled to lie how about how unsafe we feel for visiting and how upset we are she lives there while drug dealers deal drugs from push bikes outside of their beautiful, original bay window?

Their house could be wrapped in 24k gold and I wouldn't live there. She's happy, great, but lots of people are happy to have less for their own reasons. We don't have to lie with or for other people, though!

Maybe she's offended because she knows it's the truth she chose and others can't just be blind to it to validate her choice for her?

Be proud of where you live. Sweep the front, clean the windows. It’s old fashioned but why not. Why does someone else’s poor standards have to bring us all down.

SouthernNights59 · 24/08/2025 22:02

Why do you care what other people think? If you like living there, it suits your family, and you are happy then just ignore everyone else.

The day I would think of moving because of negative comments from others is the day that will never come, because I couldn't care less.

Twiglets1 · 24/08/2025 22:00

Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 21:54

I do sometimes wonder if there's anywhere in the UK that's immune to this negativity? I'm looking to move back to England, London home counties, and am struggling to decide where because of this

Anything I should know about Burford or Marlow?Grin

Burford and Marlow very posh.

IHaveRunOutOfIdeas · 24/08/2025 22:00

Hepzibar · 24/08/2025 19:56

Rochdale

Ouch 😂

Twiglets1 · 24/08/2025 21:59

Needacupofteaandcrackers · 24/08/2025 19:39

Is it a slough ?

Edited

I thought that straight away.

Just embrace it @Beboopbadoopie

My friend lives in Croydon and always refers to it as "sodding Croydon".

JustPassingThruHere · 24/08/2025 21:58

My MIL gets so offended when her DB says she lives in the slums. She lives in the middle of Leicester in a terrace since 1970s which they haven't even maintained and, as bad as the city is, their house is the worst on the street.

Should we all feel compelled to lie how about how unsafe we feel for visiting and how upset we are she lives there while drug dealers deal drugs from push bikes outside of their beautiful, original bay window?

Their house could be wrapped in 24k gold and I wouldn't live there. She's happy, great, but lots of people are happy to have less for their own reasons. We don't have to lie with or for other people, though!

Maybe she's offended because she knows it's the truth she chose and others can't just be blind to it to validate her choice for her?

Theresagutinmycrack · 24/08/2025 21:56

The guess the area people are incredibly tedious 🥱

PinkSun9 · 24/08/2025 21:56

Wolverhampton
Dudley
Tipton
Some dismal towns in the Midlands.

Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 21:54

I do sometimes wonder if there's anywhere in the UK that's immune to this negativity? I'm looking to move back to England, London home counties, and am struggling to decide where because of this

Anything I should know about Burford or Marlow?Grin

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 24/08/2025 21:53

Missing the point completely here, but Strood?

Doyouthinktheyknow · 24/08/2025 21:52

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 21:17

Margate or Bournemouth?

Neither🤣

I genuinely love Margate though, it’s where we go regularly for nights away but we live somewhere infinitely less interesting and much smaller with a pebbly beach!

Squishymallows · 24/08/2025 21:51

Is it in Wiltshire…

is it Trowbridge or Chippenham?

summershere99 · 24/08/2025 21:50

I get this too as we moved out of London to somewhere we could actually afford to buy a house. It gets ribbed an awful lot and yes there are some sketchy areas but it’s also also a really great place for families, good facilities, good job opportunities, a lot of trees, parks and green spaces and 5 minutes to lovely villages and the countryside. I used to miss London a lot but having being back recently and hated how claustrophobic I felt, the parking, the traffic, the lack of space, it just felt so crowded and busy… and I had a friend from London say ‘but there’s nothing to do there ( where we live),’ which made me laugh because there is a lot more to do where we live than where she lives, unless you want to travel 35 minutes on the tube. Which is exactly the same time as it takes us to get into London!

So a lot of people’s opinions are down to ignorance and snobbery… and best ignored.