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To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

434 replies

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

OP posts:
Lou670 · 24/08/2025 23:11

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 19:47

Try living in the NE! Had lots of snobbery from southerners over the years. They’re clueless.

I am from Teesside but live in the South East. Don't worry I always stick up for the North when the Southerners get going! 😅

nomas · 24/08/2025 23:10

Tell people they get an opinion when they pay your mortgage/rent. Until then, they should zip it.

And that at least you don’t have to ship your kids out of town to get them to a decent school.

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 23:09

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 20:53

I wish people wouldn’t, sadly they do, hence my post.

Your post makes no sense.

YOU generalised about 'southeners'

RampantIvy · 24/08/2025 23:03

Sunshineandoranges · 24/08/2025 22:53

Croydon has some lovely areas and private schools. They had one of the first airports. They have some gorgeous Victorian and Edwardian houses.

Yes. I grew up in one.

The town centre has gone downhill, but there are a lot of residential areas that are lovely - Sandilands and parts of South Croydon, Selsdon and Sanderstead for example.

HeronPond · 24/08/2025 23:01

Dogaredabomb · 24/08/2025 20:53

I agree, I moved from naice SW London to the East Midlands. It's awesome and very beautiful and the people are really lovely. I was very very happy to move away from the naice people.

I told the vet where we were going before leaving and he said 'isn't it a little...... er......' 'post industrial?' I filled in for him 🤣

I lived in a pretty, prosperous East Midlands village surrounded by lovely countryside and hated every second. I’d been far happier living next to a crack den in north east London.

MsSmartShoes · 24/08/2025 23:00

If you love the town and it works for you the screw them all.

JustPassingThruHere · 24/08/2025 22:57

salcombebabe · 24/08/2025 22:53

We have some stunning countryside and beautiful villages all across the Midlands!!!

Where in England isnt run down? The whole country looks like it peaked in 1939 and gave up the ghost after that.

salcombebabe · 24/08/2025 22:53

Themaghag · 24/08/2025 21:01

Well to be fair, most of the Midlands, particularly the East Midlands, are shit!

We have some stunning countryside and beautiful villages all across the Midlands!!!

Sunshineandoranges · 24/08/2025 22:53

HerewardtheSleepy · 24/08/2025 19:38

I know what you mean OP. I come from Croydon. The best answer is to adopt a "stuff you" policy, I find.

Croydon has some lovely areas and private schools. They had one of the first airports. They have some gorgeous Victorian and Edwardian houses.

FeministThrowingAPrincessParty · 24/08/2025 22:47

Burgess Hill?

OnePinkDeer · 24/08/2025 22:45

Yamamm · 24/08/2025 22:34

I have to win this one. I live in Staines. I think the only thing really wrong with Staines upon Thames is the name. I have a friend in Mold who says the same.

It’s a thriving Surrey town on the river, not some dystopian hell hole. I am very happy here. The only real downside is the tedium of people’s reactions completely with tiresome Ali G quotes.

People are so boring aren’t they. Just parrot what everyone else says… Slough is shit. Betjeman blah blah. Birmingham, Liverpool, London you’ll be stabbed before the week is out…

And yes some people in the North seem obsessed with the idea that all people in the South have a backward idea about the North. I don’t hear any negative comments about Northerners. Southerners aren’t ‘stuck up’ by default. It’s another tedious cliche that needs to fade away.

And yes some people in the North seem obsessed with the idea that all people in the South have a backward idea about the North. I don’t hear any negative comments about Northerners.

Northerners also rate themselves oh so highly for their sense of humour but actually they're just really bloody rude.

Icanttakethisanymore · 24/08/2025 22:37

yabu for not telling where you live!

Yamamm · 24/08/2025 22:34

I have to win this one. I live in Staines. I think the only thing really wrong with Staines upon Thames is the name. I have a friend in Mold who says the same.

It’s a thriving Surrey town on the river, not some dystopian hell hole. I am very happy here. The only real downside is the tedium of people’s reactions completely with tiresome Ali G quotes.

People are so boring aren’t they. Just parrot what everyone else says… Slough is shit. Betjeman blah blah. Birmingham, Liverpool, London you’ll be stabbed before the week is out…

And yes some people in the North seem obsessed with the idea that all people in the South have a backward idea about the North. I don’t hear any negative comments about Northerners. Southerners aren’t ‘stuck up’ by default. It’s another tedious cliche that needs to fade away.

piscofrisco · 24/08/2025 22:33

We have this. We live in a new town that’s in the middle of lots of much prettier towns. We can get to these towns in ten minutes or so in any direction. However we get more house for our money, a faster train link to London, and all our kids friends come to our ‘dive’ of a town to hang out at the leisure park and go to the cinema, or trampoline park, or Primark for that matter.

People are so rude about it, it’s actually shocking. I’ve a mind when they do it to point out that they are being mugged off by paying 300k more to live in a ‘Market town’ (where the market is laughable) just to be able to judge others that don’t.
Our town isn’t pretty at all. But it has decent amenities and weirdly a sense of community lacking in the nearby desirable towns that are populated by move out of Londoners.

Greencactusgirl · 24/08/2025 22:32

Pouffele · 24/08/2025 19:48

Is it Bradford?

Bradford is a City not a Town.

Ticktockk · 24/08/2025 22:32

FightingFish · 24/08/2025 22:29

This thread is so frustrating, like the baby name ones ‘should I change my babies name, I now hate it’ where you never find out what the baby is called.

I really think it’s New Milton 😂 it ticks all the boxes!

Dontlletmedownbruce · 24/08/2025 22:29

I agree OP, I don't live somewhere with a negative reputation, but it always pisses me off when people feel it's ok to slag off a place without thought that they are also insulting the people who are from there or those that move there by choice.

FightingFish · 24/08/2025 22:29

This thread is so frustrating, like the baby name ones ‘should I change my babies name, I now hate it’ where you never find out what the baby is called.

Nevereatcardboard · 24/08/2025 22:27

Jaywick?

LytesCarey · 24/08/2025 22:25

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

This sounds very much like my home town, where i was brought up, but don't live there now. Because its within reach of where I now live, sometimes I hear people almost groaning when someone mentions it or says they are going there for some reason, or say they avoid it.
it hurts a bit because to me its a really warm-hearted place where the people are mostly absolutely lovely. True the place won't win any architectural awards and has been badly carved up in the past with a crazy road system, bad council decisions, closed shops, etc. But it will always be my home-town and there is something about it that I love.💗

Brunettesmorefun · 24/08/2025 22:24

We all want to know where you live!

RampantIvy · 24/08/2025 22:22

HerewardtheSleepy · 24/08/2025 19:38

I know what you mean OP. I come from Croydon. The best answer is to adopt a "stuff you" policy, I find.

Haha. So do I.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 24/08/2025 22:20

Ignore them.
The bloody cheek.
Working class areas have a great community spirit, people care for the neighbours, crime happens everywhere.
I love living in a wc area.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 24/08/2025 22:20

Well I've had quite the weekend!

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?
Rituelec · 24/08/2025 22:20

Millbrook