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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

434 replies

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

OP posts:
Outtaxed · 25/08/2025 01:32

English snobbery at its best.

RestlessSparrow · 25/08/2025 01:29

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 19:47

Try living in the NE! Had lots of snobbery from southerners over the years. They’re clueless.

I totally get what you’re saying - I’ve seen that kind of snobbery from some southerners too. But I’ve also had the reverse, where people from the NE assume I must be some posh London type just because of where I’m from. The reality is I grew up in zone 4 on a council estate, and I’ve honestly seen poverty there worse than anything I’ve ever come across in the NE. People never believe me until I actually show them - I think that’s why things like Grenfell were such a shock to people, because they don’t think of places like Kensington as having communities like that.

Anonymousemouses · 25/08/2025 01:26

Absentmindedsmile · 24/08/2025 20:04

Slough
Bognor Regis
Grimsby
Croydon
Crawley
Rochdale
Salford
Bradford
Milton Keynes

?

Surely Luton beats them all, hands down?

TenaciousDeeds · 25/08/2025 01:25

Don’t worry, you sound like you have a lovely life where you are - please ignore the naysayers!!

Friendlygingercat · 25/08/2025 01:16

I was born in Liverpool and all my life Ive encountered ill informed prejudice from people who inferred that all Liverpudlians are dishonest criminals or oiks. More recently all that has changed since the City of Culture and Eurovision hosted by the city. Many came to realise that Liverpool people can be friendly and generous with a tough but unique sense of humour.

GameofPhones · 25/08/2025 00:36

People in Bradford look down on Keighley, but I love Keighley.

hattie43 · 25/08/2025 00:22

Plastictreees · 24/08/2025 20:55

Hastings is very trendy now, similar to Margate.

Hastings is always vilified but I love it .

MorrisseysMisery · 25/08/2025 00:18

Tryinghardtobefair · 24/08/2025 23:39

I used to live in Hull, and got so much flack for it. But I found everyone to be really nice and found it to be a quiet city with a great feeling of community. I understand why it isn't for some people. We left to go somewhere with more chance of progression in my husband's career. But, it doesn't deserve the reputation it gets

My absolute heroes are the Headscarf Heroes especially Big Lil Billocca. Hessle Roads finest.

Crispynoodle · 25/08/2025 00:16

My hometown was once voted the most boring town in the UK. I had an absolute ball growing up there!

MorrisseysMisery · 25/08/2025 00:15

Heckmondwike
Cleckheaton
Dewsbury (Karen Matthews, no further description required)
Ravensthorpe
Shields in NE
Huddersfield
Barrow In Furness

I live in a village just up the hill from Cleckheaton on an estate, its actually a really nice area with a wonderful school and delicatessens and bakeries in walking distance.
People think its rough but if it was I would not have brought up 3 children here, the neighbours would give you their last biscuit if they thought you needed it.

TheBirdintheCave · 25/08/2025 00:03

BlueandPinkSwan · 24/08/2025 20:01

A certain town in West Sussex is a complete toilet, finally escaped after 10 years of trying.😁

Congrats! We live right next to it unfortunately 😂

Rosesaremyfavouriteflowers · 24/08/2025 23:54

Or boscombe!

PennyRest · 24/08/2025 23:53

Eastleigh

GenerousGardener · 24/08/2025 23:48

Chatham
Strood
Rochester

Rosesaremyfavouriteflowers · 24/08/2025 23:47

I’m guessing aldershot!

PoisedGoldBiscuit · 24/08/2025 23:45

Squishymallows · 24/08/2025 21:51

Is it in Wiltshire…

is it Trowbridge or Chippenham?

My money is on Chippenham! Surprised no one else has mentioned it.

Tryinghardtobefair · 24/08/2025 23:39

I used to live in Hull, and got so much flack for it. But I found everyone to be really nice and found it to be a quiet city with a great feeling of community. I understand why it isn't for some people. We left to go somewhere with more chance of progression in my husband's career. But, it doesn't deserve the reputation it gets

TrixieFatell · 24/08/2025 23:36

There's lots of snobbery about the town I live in. Yet we have loads of people visit for the local forest as it's beautiful there. I love where I live.

JudgeJ · 24/08/2025 23:34

Nevereatcardboard · 24/08/2025 22:27

Jaywick?

Twinned with Southwold!

BlueFlowers5 · 24/08/2025 23:32

Swindon?

Crikeyalmighty · 24/08/2025 23:26

I’m originally from Mansfield and I live in Bath - all I can say is there’s ups and downs everywhere - my Mansfield friend envies me the ‘naice ’ shops, the buskers, the bars and old pubs , the vibe on a nice sunny day . I envy her the ability to have a very nice house, work very very part time, retired at 55 , 4 holidays abroad a year and the fact she has grown up children and grandchildren locally .

lifes about choices and so long as you are happy with your choices that’s all that matters.

nomas · 24/08/2025 23:18

Kindling1970 · 24/08/2025 21:44

I find it both ways. I’m from London and people are really dismissive of the North and have a ‘why would I go there’ attitude but found when I lived in the north people were really shitty about London, not other parts of the south. I totally get it as London gets SO much more investment and it’s not fair.

London and the South East alone bring in 45% of tax revenues each year to the UK so of course they will get more investment.

ragdollyanna1974 · 24/08/2025 23:18

It’s lazy stereotyping.
My home town ALWAYS comes up on these threads. It’s come a long way since the 80s but ignoramuses on here still trot out the same old tropes.

nomas · 24/08/2025 23:14

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 19:47

Try living in the NE! Had lots of snobbery from southerners over the years. They’re clueless.

Southerners living in the NE are snobbish about Northerners? Seems unlikely.

Velmy · 24/08/2025 23:13

Do you challenge them when they're having a go?

Lots of places have bad reps from years past that linger, especially with people who've either never lived there and only know the stereotype, or people who grew up there and left before it got better.

Be honest though...is what they're saying accurate? You'll never convince people that a town with an empty high street is great for shopping, but you might be able to surprise them with some benefits they're not aware of.