To have just left the pub?

I hope he’s a Man Utd supporter. Ok, they didn’t lose but they didn’t win either 🥳

I think, like most threads on MN, that your main issue is not the one you wrote about. There is a huge lack of respect for you in your marriage. You may have written about it before, I’m not sure (maybe there is more than one unfortunate woman who is married to a man who bought a dog she hates and has excluded her from her DD’s life ). But it all sounds familiar.

I really think you need to ask yourself, is this what I want for my remaining years on earth? And if the answer is no, what are you going to do about it.

Then ask for advice from the good people here.

Was he drunk? I don't understand him voicing his concern about his dog being left, you offering to go back to the Airbnb (easy solution and very kind on your part) and him refusing to give the keys. Unless you were at a dog friendly pub and he wanted to bring the dogs along, what was he expecting would happen?

So it sounds like DH and DD were happy to watch footie, and you were happy to sit and read. Everyone fine.

The spanner in the works was DH going "ooohhh my dog!"

Ohhhh my dog was clearly code for "I want to focus on the footie in peace without my wife and kid. I can't tell them to eff off because I'll look like an arsehole and the wife has already talked about football being an issue, so I'll just blame the dog"

Trouble is, he wasn't betting on you asking what he wanted to do about it, instead of just gallantly volunteering to leave him in peace (like he thought you would do) so he looked like an arsehole anyway, he didn't like his plan being thwarted, and he took it out on you. Hence the punishment over the keys.

He should have just been straight, he wanted to be left alone with his precious match, but he knew you'd have an issue so he made shit up. He IS an arsehole!

I can’t believe the hard time you’re getting here, OP!

The football is a red herring – it’s fine to want to watch the football in the pub on holiday, of course it is! It’s not fine to then go “Oh, the dogs…?” and make them someone else’s problem because you want to stay in the pub and want your partner to volunteer to do the errand; then withhold keys until your partner has changed her behaviour to suit you – that part is verging on abusive. So you not only have to check on his dog on his say-so, but you have to perform it nicely, to his satisfaction? Fuck him and I hope his team lost.

The one thing that's non negotiable for me is respect. Once that's tampered with it's full on response from me. I don't care about what anyone else wants to do, I'm quite self sufficient and can do things on my own. But if anyone told me to go and check the dogs, and then refused to give me the keys it would be full on back at them from me.

I obviously wasn't there so don't know the full story, but everyone deserves respect and to keep their own dignity and not be spoken to like that.

Next thing he wants to do OP say yes, that's fine love I'll see you later, and off you go to somewhere nice and peaceful, big coffee and a book. No dogs either, that's his job this time.

Stand up for yourself. Give the feckers an inch and they take a mile. Respect is non negotiable.

YANBU @BouldersRocksStonesPebbles if he is worried about the dog (his dog) then he either pops back or asks if you’d mind. He doesn’t get to assume you will stop what you’re doing (reading) just because he’s watching the football.

I’m not sure what your DH was playing at, refusing to give you the keys. Ridiculous.

But … I would have left anyway, I didn’t want to eat and I am not interested in football

I can understand you being pissed off that he expected you to check in on the dogs, but if you weren’t going to stay or eat anyway, was there really any problem?

I would have left anyway, as in I would have left for the dogs if he asked, but it was the surprised shocked there’s no other option than me to be excluded again. Which is an ongoing issue with DH and DD.

How old is DD? I’ve RTFT but can’t see… Unless I’ve missed it. Do you feel left out when it comes to football? Or do you feel left out about other things as well?

Unless you’re actual avid football supporter, it can be difficult to understand. DH is going away for a long weekend with some friends soon: he’s already found a bar where he can watch his team’s game.

I always made my DH take the dog to the pub if he wanted to watch the football....

I would then join him after id been for a mooch round the shops and read my book.

Absolutely no fucking way would he have asked me to leave so he could stay out and I had to sort the dog.

If we were at home, and he wanted to watch the football in the pub, I still made him take the dog out so i could be left in peace at home!

Your DH has been an arse and knows it, hence his strop over the keys!

I would be on my way home with my dog and my DD.

How long were the dogs left unattended?

Your husband behaved like a petulant teen.

Not the point, but you have His ‘n Her dogs?

No response about the fact you have left your dogs at the air bnb?

But you’re not spending quality time with them if you’re sat reading your Kindle and they are sat watching the match anyway? You’re just in the same place at the same time, you’re not really spending any quality time together?

Usually I’d agree he’s an arse here but surely it makes sense if the two of them actively enjoy the football and want to watch it whereas you were going to sit and read anyway that you go back? That would obviously be the easiest thing to do as you can read anywhere, and you were already excluding yourself really by sitting reading while they were watching the match?

@CautiousLurker01i am guessing it was maybe on Sky so watching at a pub was the only option

The football isn't the important thing here, it's that the Ops DH thought he and perhaps their DD, should stay at the pub and watch the football whilst the Op went off and looked after the dogs, that and how he thought the Op leaving was a done deal and got stroppy when she didn't just say fine. If the Op had said she was staying at the pub to watch something else would he have been happy to leave her there and go and look after the dogs?

I don’t know with this one… my DH loves football and so I’m happy to take over child care etc whilst he watched the game this afternoon. I love thrifting so he’s happy to have them on a Sunday morning whilst I go to the car boot… does he allow you to enjoy your free time/hobbie?