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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have just left the pub?

110 replies

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:50

On holiday. Sight seeing cut short to accommodate the football game this afternoon. It was something DH wanted to see, I would have enjoyed but wasn't fussed and he chose football over it, so it is what it is. I have told DH previously that I am sick of football dictating what we do and this time I said well maybe as we are away you can just miss this game? No.
So we get to the pub. DD is cranky as hasn't eaten. There's nothing there she really wants but settles on chips. We then have to move tables as the waitress comes over to our table and says it's booked at 5. I have no interest in the football and was going to enjoy a coffee and read my kindle.
DH says he's worried about the dogs we have left back at the air b n b . I say ok what do you want to do? No food order at this point. He said - almost in shock - well I am going to stay here! Do you want to go back and dog sit? Well no, not really but I cant be bothered with the bullshit about it so I get up and leave. Tbh I would have left anyway, I didn't want to eat and I am not interested in football. But it was the way he said it in shock like there was any option of him putting his worry for the dogs over his need to watch a football match. It's his dog that is the problem, not mine. My dog was quite happy sleeping on the sofa.
Anyway I had to go back in as I realized I didn't have the keys. And he refused to give them to me! And said he wouldn't give them to me if I was behaving in that manner, walking out and shaking my head (as once again, football comes first! And if I had stayed it would have escalated anyway with DD saying for me to leave to check the dogs so I just thought it's easier to go now. And if anything did happen or would be my fault anyway.). After repeating a few times after he was shaving a go at me about my behavior "are you refusing to give me the keys?" he eventually gave in and gave them to me so I am back here at the b and b.
Was ibu?

OP posts:
CountryMouse22 · 24/08/2025 19:28

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:57

I have no issue incorporating football I to the schedule at all. That wasn't the problem. It was the way he spoke to me?

Leave him. You don't to want to be treated like this.

ruethewhirl · 24/08/2025 19:26

What is it with all these awful men lately? OP, YANBU in the slightest, and you wouldn't BU to leave this guy's sorry arse over this kind of behaviour. If my DH ever behaved like this I'd find it hard to continue loving him.

nomas · 24/08/2025 19:21

What a petulant pig he is. Is he always like that?

Start doing a lot less for him.

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 19:21

starfishmummy · 24/08/2025 19:09

I thought the same - all the ones I've seen say dogs shoukd not be left alone and should not be on the fir iture

The OP has already said this AirBnB allows dogs to be left and as they do, probably allows the dogs on the furniture with a throw on it. But it's totally irrelevant to the OP's thread anyway.

@BouldersRocksStonesPebbles if you're the poster I think you might be, just how much more are you going to take if this before you and your dog tell him & his dog it's over? DD. Can do 50/50 or whatever she wants. Why on earth did you want to spend the afternoon with that bellend He treats you like shit (whether you're that poster or not).

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/08/2025 19:16

He wanted you to go and look after his dog but refused to give you the key to enable you to do this. He’s a cunt.

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 19:15

ChopsyHatesFungus · 24/08/2025 18:58

He sounds a right dick.

I can’t understand people who go away on holiday then prioritise spending time staring at a TV watching some blokes kick a ball around. What a waste!

If you plan on staying with him then you need to organise your own entertainment whenever he checks out. Otherwise, you’ll be rehashing this argument every weekend and holiday.

What a shame you are unable to understand people enjoy different things than you do. It must be very limiting.

starfishmummy · 24/08/2025 19:09

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/08/2025 17:07

And why are you leaving your dogs behind all day while you go out sight seeing. Surely you should take them with you. I don't know any air bnb which would allow you to leave your dogs there while you are out.

I thought the same - all the ones I've seen say dogs shoukd not be left alone and should not be on the fir iture

Rosscameasdoody · 24/08/2025 19:07

NoSoupForU · 24/08/2025 16:55

Football is 2 hours out of however long your trip is. I can't really understand how it can't be accommodated amongst the things that you want to do.

I'm a football fan, as is my husband. We support different teams and find no issue whatsoever in incorporating each other's matches into our schedule.

Bully for you, but it seems football dictates everything for the OP. And the issue here is her DH’s behaviour.

Petitchat · 24/08/2025 19:05

Another manchild.

And yet another woman married to one......

HeronPond · 24/08/2025 19:01

This relationship sounds spectacularly joyless and full of mutual irritation.

CautiousLurker01 · 24/08/2025 18:59

Tanefan · 24/08/2025 17:39

@CautiousLurker01i am guessing it was maybe on Sky so watching at a pub was the only option

Doh! We have sky/sky go so I forget not everyone can view all the games 🤦🏽‍♀️

ChopsyHatesFungus · 24/08/2025 18:58

He sounds a right dick.

I can’t understand people who go away on holiday then prioritise spending time staring at a TV watching some blokes kick a ball around. What a waste!

If you plan on staying with him then you need to organise your own entertainment whenever he checks out. Otherwise, you’ll be rehashing this argument every weekend and holiday.

AbzMoz · 24/08/2025 18:56

Take yourself off with your dog, your book and find a huge glass of wine (or mocktail) and whatever dinner you fancy. If he can choose how he wants to spend his time so can you….

ShesLump · 24/08/2025 18:54

OP I feel like this is an end of tether thing? People are focusing on this incident which is why it seems like not a huge deal, but I’m guessing this is one of a long line of incidences and the is may be the straw.

Arran2024 · 24/08/2025 18:52

You left your dogs in a rental property and one was on the sofa!!

Not ok. And I say that as someone who has two large breed dogs. We take them on holiday. We would either have taken them to the pub or one of us would have stayed with them while the other went out.

Lesina · 24/08/2025 18:49

The U.K. is bizarrely obsessed with football. The sheer amount of coverage given to one sport is mental. Not to mention the tribalism and violence it creates. I do question the national intelligence when it comes to it. Very odd.

Beachtastic · 24/08/2025 18:45

Football turns people mad, I'm afraid. I used to dread ex-DH's team losing (which they usually did!) because it poisoned the whole weekend.

Now very happily married to someone who has not the slightest interest in football 🥳🥳🥳

usedtobeaylis · 24/08/2025 18:43

They're on holiday, who the fuck is he to volunteer her up for dog sitting his dog while he stays out watching the football? I'm also a football fan, it doesn't make anyone here super special, just apparently more likely to completely miss the point. He behaved like a dick.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/08/2025 18:35

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:57

I have no issue incorporating football I to the schedule at all. That wasn't the problem. It was the way he spoke to me?

I keep telling my football mad grandsons to ensure they only marry women who are interested in football.

I let football run my life bc I love it and I wouldn't want to be married to someone who did not like football.

ByAgileLemonPoet · 24/08/2025 18:33

Another clue that you might be in an abusive relationship - you had no say over a major decision like getting a dog.

gamerchick · 24/08/2025 18:31

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/08/2025 17:06

Missing a game is never an option. Especially not when the season has just started. If you knew his team was playing, who not make plans to do something fun with your kid away from his grumpiness? Never assume that a game can just be missed because you're not interested.

Engineer a situation to get rid of your partner so you can watch it though? That's the cunts trick.

I think for the rest of the holiday I'd just leave him to it tbh. Mines a football fanatic, as is my son but they wouldn't do that. They would just check the score if I wasn't happy.

Neither of them would tell me to go back to any b&b to babysit a dog so they can watch it.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 24/08/2025 18:30

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 18:13

And why refuse to give me the keys if he was worried about the dog? He got what he wanted. The dogs were being seen to.
Ok perhaps I overreacted. But then he took it to another level with the keys.
No doubt they will come home and it will be my fault for ruining the afternoon.

That’s precisely why. He probaBly realised he made himself look like a dick in front of DD so he then turned it on you, so they can bond on how unreasonable you are and how it was all your fault. Otherwise your daughter might actually start seeing him for what he is… an absolute prick.

Hohumhuee · 24/08/2025 18:29

So did you take the dogs up with you or were they on the holiday with them before you arrived?

ByAgileLemonPoet · 24/08/2025 18:26

He’s a man that feels entitled to your labour and becomes abusive when he doesn’t get it. Time to LTB.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 24/08/2025 18:25

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 17:19

I would have left anyway as in I would have left for the dogs if he asked but it was the surprised shocked there's no other option than me to be excluded again. Which is an ongoing issue with DH and DD.

That’s the real issue isn’t it OP?