Autistic child shouting/screaming in the garden

This is my child ,you will know doubt get a lot of replies about trumping of rights
But IRL outside of mumsnet I have found neighbours can be very understanding when they know it's a disability

Flowers and chocs are unnecessary but nothing wrong with a note. Saying something in person is also good but some people find a note easier.

The op shouldn't feel that she has to apologise for her ds, especially as she is already being considerate with the times that he is outside, but an explanation is fine.

It your house and your garden. He is allowed to be himself in his own home. No one wants to annoy neighbours but you are doing your best under challenging circumstances

Get some loop ear plugs! Life saver

I've got quite 2 for sleep they were £19.99 and switch 2 was £55 from Amazon.. switch 2 does all 3 settings

We have a similar situation with new neighbours who have chn that just scream and shout in the garden. I never hear the parents trying to quieten them. I have no issue with children playing but screaming is horrible. Does your son have to be outside? Can you take him elsewhere to let off steam?

You are not obligated to send a note but if you do decide to communicate with them, please don’t say that you are working on strategies to prevent it if that’s not appropriate. Your child is allowed to communicate and express himself how he wants in his own garden.

The neighbours might not like it, but they do have to suck it up and be gracious.

Nobody needs to stop giving the advice they want to give because you think differently. Even if you roll your eyes to disparage all the polite kindness, you can’t remove people’s goodwill and turn them into “ I will if I like, what you gonna do about it” thug life proponents. Thankfully.

Talk to them hunny, you say they are already aware of his autism so keep the communication going, explain you know hes loud and that you are actively trying to help him find ways to stim that dont involve shouting etc. In my experience if people understand what you are dealing with and how you are dealing with it then they are more likely to be understanding and supportive

Will people please stop with the notes, chocs and flowers advice 🙄

OP does not have to prostrate herself before her neighbours. She is already a considerate person trying to keep noise to a minimum. That's all any neighbours should expect.

Apologising for SEN children's quite frankly very mild noise at normal daytime in their own garden is not reasonable or necessary.

Your son has a right to loud enjoyment of your garden 😀

Dropping a note is fine, but you may open the floodgates to them asking to keep the noise down constantly. I would be more casual about discussing it than dropping a note,just so they are aware of the situation and there is not much you can do.

I know it's not quite the same, but my parents, aged 77 and 81, love hearing the noise of their neighbours children. I think it reminds them of my children who they don't see nearly often enough.

Pop round with a plant or box of chocolates and explain the situation to them.

The 3dc over the fence from us can be very noisy sometimes, especially when they have the pool or water slide out. I was just saying to dh that they will be getting to the “football against the fence” stage soon. Mine are all adults now but we’re at that stage once.

My dog is not particularly noisy but probably barks at least once a day at a visitor, postman or delivery driver.

The next door cat performs in our garden regularly and hangs out there annoying my indoor cats until I send the dog out to ask her to move.

The couple across the road have the most beautiful garden and trim their hedges, grass and edges frequently.

No one is being deliberately annoying. It takes a bit of live and let live. Just communicate with them.

Have they actually said anything? We all exist in a world with other people and cannot expect to live in an urban area with total peace and quiet. I think 10am is a reasonable time to allow for lie ins.

We recently moved and your DC sounds similar to a near by teenage (not next door but their garden is close to our front yard). Once I figured out what the situation was I just tuned it out. It was not nearly as annoying as our previous neighbours toddler who would “play”with their letter box at 12am…

Not everyone will be able or want to tune it out, so it’s better to try and curtail it and/ or spend some time indoors.

That depends on you.

My eldest is ND. If he got too much, I'd bring him inside for an hour. You aren't a passenger in your child's life, you are his parent and you have responsibility and accountability for him.

I'm entitled to stand in my garden and shout. It would make me quite the arsehole to say my neighbours have to continually put up with it because I'm entitled to do it and label it "enjoying my garden."

They should be able to enjoy their garden, as should you and your child. I also have DTwins and I don't mind them playing with the occasional yell, but girl twin is very shouty and has to be told to tone it down. A lot. If she doesn't, she comes inside.

There's a difference between letting your child shout a handful of times throughout the day, and allowing them to shout frequently, all day. Just because my youngest knows she's being too noisy, and my eldest wasn't able to recognise that, doesn't have any bearing on my ability to take action and bring either inside as their parent.

The fact you are posting threads about his noise means you do know it's too much. Just bring him inside when you need too.

I would find this noise incredibly irritating SEN or not. I too am autistic and am very sensitive to noise which undoubtedly clouds my view. I would probably choose to wear earplugs or headphones if I could hear him and it was irritating me though. I wouldn’t say anything knowing it was a child with SEN.
I would make sure he wasn’t out there making noise for extended periods of time though or if they are clearly out in their garden socialising etc.
When we choose to live in neighbourhoods you do have to accept a degree of noise.

Fair enough. Sorry.

That poster was saying the neighbour wouldn’t allow her DC to play with him

... did I say it wasn't? I was responding to the question posed by another poster with an honest answer.

Our neighbours have an autistic/LD son, who is now in his late 20s. He properly screams/shouts loudly in his garden for up to an hour at a time, and tbh it’s disconcerting (and extremely loud). I think it’s a vocal stim and helps him to regulate.

DS1 is AuDHD and hasn’t been able to go into the garden until this year because he’s scared of the noise.

There’s no solution, except for his parents to keep him nearer their house and further from neighbours’ gardens (their garden is close to a number of other gardens).

respectfully, that’s your issue to deal with.

I guess it depends on the noise. I once encountered a woman and her son in Tesco and the child was making a noise that was setting off my fight or flight instinct. If I hadn't been able to see the child I would have said that someone was actively in the process of physically harming him. No amount of explanation is ever going to take away my instinctive reaction to that particular noise. Other noises children make are less acute and therefore easier to live with, at least for me.

Why? They aren't in my garden so I am not threatened.

Unless I think my neighbours are being attacked, in which case I would feel obliged to get them help.

It sounds like you're being really considerate to not be in the garden too early and late so I'd like to think they wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe a chat or a note through the door just to explain but a lot of older people like hearing kids play, it's nice to see/hear them having fun (at least that's what my lovely neighbours say after my kids scream their way round the garden playing). Hope you and your son enjoy the lovely new garden 😊

It would make a difference to me, yes. Because I would know it wasn’t because of poor parents who just didn’t care about others.