Autistic child shouting/screaming in the garden

I have to say, that’s a new one.

Take your washing line down if it’s making your child too happy.

Jesus wept 😂

We live in a terrace. I have social anxiety, so I suppose you would consider that I am 'set on peace and quiet'. I would like nothing more than to live "further out of town" but we can't afford to move.

@FattyMcFattyArse, @bigkicks I think the same way. If I sent a note apologising or explaining my kids disabilities, id be giving them the opportunity to express an opinion.

OP I'm in the position of your neighbours (except my house is joined). My neighbour's child is autistic and non-verbal and makes a lot of noise through day and night. The neighbours mentioned the diagnosis when they moved in and although it can be disruptive I certainly never hold it against them and completely understand it's out of their control. I would hoped your neighbours would be the same.

She is
Her child has as much right to be in his garden as the neighbours
A FYI Being disabled doesn't make somone a selfish arsehole.

You don't need to write a note! You and your son aren't doing anything wrong, so no need to apologise or explain. My children and I recently moved to a terraced house with a lot of older neighbours and are surprised by all the passive aggressive grumbling we have received about the sounds of them playing and practicing their musical instruments. I don't know why they feel entitled to silence in an urban area! They can move to the country if they want that.

A note will let them know it’s not just a you cnba to parent him.

However much as people on MN like to say if people don’t want loud noise they should live in the middle of know where that’s the same for those who wish or need to make lots of noise.

People need to be neighbourly and that goes both ways. Also neighbours themselves could have sen and a child like ops could be a huge trigger, or the neighbours could have a hobby that’s a huge trigger for the child.

I couldn’t enjoy my garden with screaming children next door Sen or no Sen but with a note I’d know you wasn’t a shit parent.

However that wouldn’t stop me wishing he wasn’t outside all day every day if that’s what the situation was. It also wouldn’t stop me being on edge when it is peaceful in my garden basically waiting for the next loud instance.

A good hedge can help quiet noise obviously it won’t stop it but it does create a slight softener.

I think it's just polite to allow your neighbours some peace in their garden, they should get to enjoy their garden just as much as your son should get to enjoy his. There are plenty of selfish arseholes around that doesn't mean it's ok to be one!

If it's just water and clothes line play that get him very excited then perhaps just limit those. It sounds like you're considerate anyway so I'm sure it will be fine.

If your neighbours are busy gardening then i wouldn't worry about the noise at all, if they're clearly trying to relax then I'd try to respect that.

Our NDN's have got a young boy I suspect is on the spectrum and he's a nightmare for screaming when he's outside. We usually have to come in and shut the windows/put a fan on so we can hear ourselves think. It's most evenings between 6pm and 9pm he's out there so we can't ever eat our tea outside which is annoying given we've just had a new patio built. But it is what it is. We just make sure we try and use it during the day at the weekends, and truthfully I don't envy the parents as they've now got a newborn as well. I wouldn't ever dream of complaining to them.

He still has every right to be there
People do all sorts in their gardens ,argue ,smoke have barbecue, s but it's their garden so you dont get to tell people what they can and can't do in them, the Op is being reasonable,by ensuring he doesn't gonout before 10 am etc.
Unless you want all disabled people locked up you have to accept they are part of the community.

If he screams when he's happy and he's happy in the garden then yes, he'd never get to use it.

Remember that we're talking about a disabled child, not children who can control screaming and parents who refuse to tell them off.

Honestly if it was me, I would struggle to sit in my garden to listen to the noise. So it would affect me massively. You might see the for sale sign going up next door. But I suppose that doesn’t affect you.

So every time he starts screaming with uncontrolled joy at being in his happy place… the op should man handle him back inside?

I mean when he’s screaming.

Apologising for noise and saying that you’re aware of it and appreciate their understanding because your child has SEN is not apologising for the existence of your child

No one
literally no one has said that the op should apologise for her child

Nobodies saying "fuck " the neighbours but generally speaking ( outside of mumsnet) most people are tolerant when you explain about disability, the Op certainly doesn't need to apologise for her child's disabilities.

Please say you don’t honestly think the OP’s child shouldn’t use the garden @landlordhell

Well the op seemed to like the note advice rather than… fuck the neighbours OP

I agree with the letter / card. If you wait til they complain to explain it wouldn't be as effective..often people don't complain until they are really angry and someone who is naturally non confrontational will have to work themselves into a state before approaching you. They will be less tolerant than someone who is warned in advance. Truth is, he might really annoy them but any decent person would keep their thoughts to themselves because disability is disability.

If they already know that he is severely autistic, I wouldn't do anything else as of yet. I definitely wouldn't go down the chocolate, flowers etc route because it is almost like you are apologising for your son's disability.

Just be considerate which you already are with not allowing him out until a certain time or allowing him out too late. Disabled children are allowed to enjoy their own gardens.

I’ve just looked these up! Brilliant suggestion, Thankyou so much! 💜

My child is autistic and all my neighbours are fully aware and in support of him and his stims. They ask about him frequently. However, there is one neighbour who has been prejudiced towards us and thankfully all of the other neighbours feel as I do: she is awful! Always blames poor behaviour of any child on autism. My child might be loud and classed as non speaking, but he’s beautiful, kind and positive. Loud though! But our neighbours express delight of hearing him having fun. We’re usually our earliest at ten and in latest at seven/eight - he is five.

He's disabled he has every right to be in his garden .

What a horrible comment.
Of course he can be outside.