Autistic child shouting/screaming in the garden

You’re the daft one, and maybe even the neighbours as well if they think like you, that the vocal stimming (screaming as you call it) is the only indication that the OP’s DS is ND.

Now buzz off.

So if a child is screaming in the garden… they definitely have SEN

Dont be daft.

No explanation is necessary, especially one given with an apologetic tone. The situation speaks for itself.

But it is anti social noise , whether or not it can be controlled is another issue .

Almost as silly as mistaking something out of someones control with deliberate anti social noise.

The kids in his own garden, theres lottle more the op can do

If his stim was banging on adjoined febces id get it but hes in his own space, all the op owes her neighboyrs is the consideration shes already showing them and information- not explanation

I do . I don’t have neighbours , except horses ,
I notice all those telling people who like peace and quiet to move well that’s as stupid as saying all those with autistic kids move where you can’t disturb anyone . Don’t inflict your antisocial noise on those who want peace . Telling people to move is silly .

I’m in a terraced house where all the gardens are linked (built in a grid-like system) and there’s what I presume is an Autistic child who often comes into his garden and vocally stims, doesn’t bother me but that’s because I work with neurodivergent children and young people. My DC have asked what the noise is and I’ve explained that the young man struggles to share how he’s feeling with words so makes sounds instead. They were okay with that. In your case, I’d definitely give the neighbours a heads up so they know what’s happening.

Well, quite!

There but for the grace of god etc

No but she should inform

Like if im having a bbq ill inform my neighbours it might get noisy

Or if my dog is alone fir a couple of hours ill inform he might bark

Its just tge decent thing to do, and any decent person knowing the situation would cut her some slack. Not knowing the situation is what may breed contempt

It’s about priorities, for me.

Our son does not do want he wants.

He doesn’t go outside until at least 9am. On a weekend he’s taken out most of the day. Tomorrow, we’re going out, somewhere ideally not busy, but also not at home all day wreaking havoc.

He's not allowed to do obvious things, but things he’d still do if he “did want he wants,” such as:

• hurt others (except us!)
• go on other people’s property
• take the food and drinks of others
• walk in places or on things that have a queue
• he has to share, or not play
• run directly into traffic
• shout at others
• takeover play equipment and claim it as his own
• take his clothes off in public

Every one of those can and does cause meltdowns.

What I don’t tell him he can’t do, is play outside. There are lots of things he’s not allowed to do that he would and doesn’t understand why. Why enjoying himself in his own garden would be one of them is beyond me.

OP you sound like you’re doing fine. Our neighbours have a non-verbal and extremely loud lad who we can hear whether he’s inside or outside. In the holidays it is, unfortunately, often 4-5 hours of yelling at a time. Not overnight but quite early and quite late, and throughout the day.

They came and told us when they moved in which was much appreciated, as otherwise we’d all have been filing reports with social services. The tone of his yelling is like he’s being hurt, and it must be so stressful moving into a new neighbourhood and worrying the police are about to show up at any moment!

Once we knew, obviously it’s not ideal, nobody LOVES listening to someone scream for hours, but his mum’s doing her best and she’s a lot closer to it than us! It definitely changed the way we thought about it, so if your boy is similar I do think a card or similar is a good idea, or just a chat. Hopefully your neighbours get it, and you def sound like you’re being as considerate as you can be, balanced with his needs.

I really don't think you should have to explain anything to your neighbours. I used to worry about this sort of thing but not any more. People need to be tolerant.

Not allow her child to cause them disturbance every day for hours on end?

Everything doesn't have to be at the extreme. It's not he either has to be out there screaming from 6am to 11pm, or locked inside. It's bizarre how avoidant of just simple, obvious, respectful solutions some people are.

It's just being a decent human. If your child makes loud noise that disturbs other people then you don't let them make it all day every day, in the garden, because it's easier for you as a parent. It's not suddenly acceptable because the child doesn't know any better. You do. Or at least you should.

And if that means more of a nuisance for you, so be it, welcome to responsible and accountable parenting.

OP says her child goes to school so in a few weeks, he'll be at school for most of the day.

Ok, i concede, but what is op supposed to do about the fact theyre home all day?

She didn't say total peace and quiet.

As long as he isn't out too early or late at night, it should be a problem. I'm sure your neighbours will understand.

But on the flip side of what i just said, this view is also wrong.

You want total peace and quiet? Sell up and live miles away from ajyone

Absolutely. We all do.

But that doesnt mean we all get to do what we want when we want and fk everyone else.

Not for one moment saying thats OP, its not, just pointing out that your view is often misunderstood which is why we have so much anti social behaviour abd lack of consideration these days (again l, not op)

The reality is we all need to be considerate of others. No one has an excuse not to be.

The reality is you are also doing everything you can, id do what pp suggested abd explain the situation, but you both have as much right to enjoy your space as your neighbours.

If it were 6am - 8pm and you didn't give a shit id feel different but its not

I’m sorry but I’d hate it .I find excess noise really anti social . I’d be devastated if I was the neighbours enjoying my tranquility and this happened . If your neighbours are in their later years and retired there’s no respite from it because they’re at home in the day .

So as long as both our children are ruining our neighbours evenings, every single day, it doesn't matter. Why should they get to sit in their garden peacefully even once a month? The entitlement of some people eh?

We won't complain to each other because it would be "cheeky" given we're both responsible for the hours upon hours of screaming and shouting and clapping and banging.

If any of the neighbours complain about the screaming, they are disablist arseholes who should be fine with someone screaming the other side of their garden fence for hours every single night. Can't they enjoy the beautiful sound of a child just being happy as mine bashes.the metal bins with his bat well in to the second hour? Oh it's joyous to hear. What's their problem with the sound of happy children?

Anyway, not our problem is it. Only need to worry about what suits us. Who cares about the rest of society living in earshot. We certainly shouldn't. More accurately, we've got disabled children therefore we don't have too.

No no, I just meant that I’m housing a shouty tornado so wouldn’t have the cheek to be bothered about yours and his bins.

Ah, I see we're pretending it would be the audacity of the person suffering 4 hours every day of someone smashing a metal bin with a baseball bat, and that most people would be perfectly ok with "just a child making themselves happy"

Says enough

He does what he needs, not what he likes. I’d hope you know the difference.

Sometimes we do things specifically to make him happy. Because he’s a child, who finds joy in very few things.

But moreover, he’s a child. Playing in his garden. Someone call the police!