Sister went nuts over a cup of coffee

and to dance around and spill it is the way to go?

Generally, if you're the guest in someone's house, you accept what you're given even if it's not the way you really like it.

Different rules for close family and friends who are in and out of each other's houses all the time. Then you can be more honest.

Sounds like op is a chronic underfiller because she won't trust adults to drink from a full cup without spilling it. SIL seems to have repeatedly asked for a proper, full cup but is being ignored and treated like a child. As DH sided with SIL, that suggests that SIL has a point.

If OP's description of the SIL's behaviour is accurate and not exaggerated for effect and to gain sympathy then SIL was rude and out of order but I think that the unacceptable behaviour was a result of understandable frustration.

Of course it is. It shows you couldn't care less about someone else's preferences.

They are both dicks, but a good big mug of coffee is the law

I always fill right to the top, and I usually spill it. It's one of the reasons I have hard flooring in my house. It's just how I do things, but I'd never judge someone else for not wanting coffee stains on their carpets.

God knows why this winds your sister up so much, but she is being a complete arsehole. I'd guess that this isn't actually about coffee, does she normally try to undermine or ridicule you? People who regularly do that sort of thing are insecure and need to bring others down to feel better about themselves.

Your husband joining in is a whole other level of fuckery.

Of course it’s fine to decline a cup of coffee, but the sister isn’t doing that, she jumped up and danced around OP shouting, which caused the coffee to spill.

Stop trying to defend the indefensible. You are not owed a coffee as a guest, nobody is.

wtf no its not

She's not aggressive, she's lovely and fussy and anxious and eager to please and help - I think she was borderline panicking that we'd have tea that was akin to poison if it were allowed to taste of anything.

The fact that she does my head in with her fussing and seems to have no tastebuds (as far as we can tell) is absolutely my issue and nothing to do with her - she doesn't deserve to find out exactly how much of a dickhead I am.

I'm kind of jealous of her innocence - very few people have ever been unkind to her and when she's in her happy little bubble, I'd feel a complete shit to pop it on the basis of a crap cuppa.

A photo is required to judge.

This ^

If you have guests, it's just decent and courtesy to make them a full cup of coffee and not some half-arsed 3/4s full effort.

Fine the first time, you say thankyou and turn a blind eye, then refuse the next time they offer.

To continually give someone an underfilled cup when they've repeatedly explained why they don't like that is just deliberately being disrespectful.

My mum used to make half cups of coffee, it used to drive me nuts. I used to tell her I’d need a ladder to get to the top of that mug, it was a running joke in our house… I’d give anything now for that half cup of coffee lol

anyway op your sister is rude and so is your husband, wouldn’t be making them any drinks going forward!

i doi do the same as you op but thats not the point-its your house and shes a guest and your dh can fuck off aswell

i doi do the same as you op but thats not the point-its your house and shes a guest and your dh can fuck off aswell

At least your cup is half full and not half empty 🙂

When you’re in someone’s house as a guest, you accept the coffee with grace and say thank you.

Even a child knows this,

And this behaviour is worse than a cup of coffee not filled to the brim.

She sounds like an idiot and your husband isn't much better. Why are you allowing this? I would go further than refusing to make her coffee, I wouldn't have her in my home at all. Three times a week is a lot anyway, but she clearly doesn't appreciate you. Doesn't she have family, friends or work to keep her busy?

Just relax, all seems a bit OTT about the volume of coffee in your cup, just be grateful that someone made you it. If you can’t do that have water and make coffee when you get home

A properly full cup is a totally different experience to a half-full cup.

Proper strong coffee is best when it's hot, and you can drink it at a higher temperature if it's filled to the max because when it's only partly full you need to leave it to cool to a lower temperature due to having to take larger sips.

I drink tea and coffee black, so this does make a difference to temperature, and there is no reason whatsoever to leave a black coffee 3/4s full.

People pontificating over the amount of coffee are missing the point. Even if the cup was half filled, it is completely insane to react the way the OP’s sister did. This isn’t about the coffee - I guarantee this dysregulated behaviour occurs in other situations too. She’s out of order and I would be meeting her in public places from now on, where she can pay for her coffee!

I wouldn't be having her back in my house and I'd be taking a good, hard look at my marriage and whether he's the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I fill coffee to the top! Largely because I’m not a child

This.

Love your username by the way 🙂
"He was a simple ostrich" .

I'm assuming that before today she had a history of spilling coffee if the cup was full so that's why you don't fill it?

I wouldn't have thought a full cup means to the brim though?

what would be the difference?