Our family have been through a recent bereavement of granddad.
He passed away Wednesday. We had a break away planned for a water sports competition with camping. I said to DH on Thursday that I don’t think we should go because we need to offer support to grandma. He was very upset about this, and said he is “losing control of his life” because he didn’t “create” this situation and he needs a break. So I went.
His sister usually comes with us and buddies up with me, but she’s not come this time because she’s not well. So it’s me and our usual group, but I do miss her a lot.
Now we’re here, I just don’t have the energy to do any of the activities. I’ve done bbqs for when the others have finished their activities, and I’ve built a fire and sat with DH and his friends all evening when they’re done.
DH has said he feels disappointed in me because he wants to do the activities with me. I’ve said im sorry but I just don’t want to, but I want him to have a good time. I’ve made a real effort to try to be happy and I am speaking to everyone happily!
He said “you haven’t even tried”, so I did and had a panic attack, left quietly and didn’t make a fuss. He said “we’ve done this millions of times before, what’s different now?” And “we shouldn’t have even booked to come then.” But when we booked I DID want to do it, it’s just now in here I feel flat and it feels wrong being here. I can’t explain why. Me and DSIL go easy when we do this hobby, but DH and friends don’t - they go out deep, fast etc. I don’t like that! But I get why they do, I’m just not that brave!
I feel I’ve made a lot of effort - I came, I’ve given it a go, I’ve accommodated his friends, cooked for them, been supportive with photo taking etc!
Aibu to not do the activities with him? Should I just put on my big girl pants and do it?!?!