DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

Sorry but you were out of order. I’ve nothing the least fishy on my phone but would be seriously pissed off of my husband just handed it to his relative without my permission. Which he wouldn’t.

You were very wrong to do that. Why was she looking at photos when she was supposed to be checking her emails? And he hasn’t spoken to you for two weeks, is there a backstory here?

Why didn’t you lend your sister a charger? Why did she need to check her emails there and then?

There’s more to this than you are saying OP.

Why didn’t you just ask her to wait until she could use yours???? Not acceptable to offer someone else’s phone unless they are physically there to give agreement.

Yes, that as well.

Nobody comes out of this well.

She really isn’t going to defend herself, you know. It was just an OP designed to get us all frothing at the mouth. 😂

@Evkopk DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

The title sounds as if DH has made a mistake, but from reading what happened, it clearly is your fault. It's a bit strange that you are acting as if you have done nothing wrong.

I don't think too many women would be happy if I started going through their phones and looking at their photos.

Snooping through someones phone is the worst invasion of privacy i can imagine.

Just a pair of snoops. I think what you did was disgusting.

You shouldn't have unlocked his phone for your sister. Your story of 'why' doesn't quite ring true and you were completely in the wrong to do it. I suspect you thought something was up and your sister going through the phone for you was your solution under a phony pretext.

That said, his behaviour is abusive (silent treatment for 2 weeks is emotional abuse), removing you from family groups when you are family isn't right.

I suspect your marriage is over. I wouldn't wait around for him to do it either under the circumstances. You were unhappy enough to go through his phone (via your sister) and now he's acting like he had something to hide and covering it up by 2 weeks of abusive behaviour.

If you've set it up properly, to access your gMail (or most cloud mail providers) securely you would need a 2FA code in order to access it.

That 2FA code is normally sent to .... the subscribers phone (in this case the "dead" phone of the OPs DS (I hate nesting brackets but all the acronyms here !)). Even if the security was an authenticator app, that would also be located on the "dead" phone.

As you were but my eyebrows remain slightly raised.

Maybe sister has a history of being nosey or overstepping boundaries? He allows his wife to access his phone which is obviously fine but I bet he’s changed the password now.

Maybe OP has a history of lending his phone to others that he doesn’t like ?

his reaction is normal. How can you not get it's not even about "nothing to hide", that's not the point.

Another One Post Wonder with a shocking story?

This.

Once the sister finished scrolling through the photos, she could moved onto reading personal messages (dirty or not between her sister and brother in law) and nobody wants that either.

Not everyone sets their WhatsApp photos to automatically download to photos. If OP doesn’t have her settings like that but her husband does then the sister could have seen some embarrassing pics.

So why the reaction then if there is nothing to hide?

My point is that his reaction is very much out of proportion to someone being lent his phone.

Pissed off and perhaps angry are acceptable, but his reaction is ridiculous.

I don’t think the OP is coming back. Hardly surprising.

no, read the thread and his reaction is perfectly normal, many of us would have reacted a lot worst.

I might not have pictures of my fanny or dirty pics I sent DH, but nothing I have on my phone is anyone's business! Even photos of my kids are private!

While I acknowledge it's always a risk and I am not stupid, I would also be pissed off if one of my friend's relative was snooping through their phone and looking at pics I sent them privately.

@PoshDuckQuarkQuark
The op unlocked his phone.
That indicates she has full access to his phone. Which also indicates there is nothing dodgy on his phone that he is hiding.

He has the right to be pissed off, which is more than fair, but his reaction is WAY beyond that.

Surely you deleted your fanny pics once you'd had a look??

And if they were sending dirty pics then I very much doubt the OP would have handed the phone over as she would have been well aware.

I still feel his reaction is beyond normal.

Wow thats totally inappropriate of you and your sister the fact she went snooping through his phone

Not great on your part op. You shouldn’t have given his phone out without asking him. It’s like going through someone’s handbag.

but two weeks of silent treatment is appalling

Wow, is this serious and not some kind of reverse? Surely your ds didn’t do this? It’s a HUGE invasion of privacy if true. I wouldn’t dream of unlocking/handing over my DH’s phone! Sheer crazy.

Your husband isn’t unreasonable to be angry but 2 weeks is excessive

2 weeks would barely be the beginning if it was my husband who had violated my privacy like that.

I would delete the DS from my life for a start, no going back.