DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

You and your sister are soooo far out of order, I'd be tempted not to speak to you either (I only would as I acknowledge silent treatment is abusive).

I wouldn't trust you though, as your boundaries are non-existent.

This is why I'd think twice before handing my phone to a stranger - though I have fingerprint logins to all 'spending' apps, so they wouldn't have much luck with that.

My sister, though? We don't even get on well, but I'd trust her with my phone or handbag!

Do your friends ever send you private emails or messages?

Because if you give someone your unlocked phone you are also giving the person access to these, which your friends might not be quite so happy about.

(unless you've set up your phone so that it doesn't log you straight into email/whatsapp, which would be unusual).

Again, this is nuts imo. I give family members my bag to find the aspirin, pen, lip balm or whatever they asked for. Why wouldn't I?

My phone automatically signs me in to the various sites where I buy things, @GarlicLitre - I wouldn’t want someone potentially being given access to all that information, without my agreement.

Does a SIL count as a loved one?
I have nothing to hide on my phone, but I really don't want my SIL gratuitously looking at it.

You should never have offered your sister/ SIL your Husband's phone, you were bang out of order and owe your Husband a sincere apology. It doesn't matter what's on his phone, it's a gross invasion of his privacy. How would you like it if he offered your bag and purse for his brother to rummage through?

You were wrong to give DH phone to DS. How would you have felt if it were the other way round? DH whilst he's right to be pissed off he needs to move on now

Gosh! What do people have on their phones that are so private? Mine has a Lidl app, WhatsApp messages sorting out football runs, photos of friends' gardens and my kids, BBC weather....people are most welcome to view any of it they want...if they can stay awake that long...

What was the nature of your apology? Did you just say sorry that he's upset or did you acknowledge that it was thoughtless and, by his standards, wrong?

Very cheeky and nosy to start scrolling through his photos etc I'd be fuming .
First of all you didn't ask him you just assumed he would be ok with your sister using his phone .
Just because you know the password doesn't mean it's up to you to hand his phone over.
Your sister could of waited.
Length of time he has been angry about it not sure he is just totally pissed with you for invading his privacy.

Hey op you should never have given ds his phone but just because you have his passcode it’s not yours to give. also you should have flipped on her If she was going through his photos and not checking her own emails. you could have handed her yours but on the the flip side he’s being petty now and liars and cheaters can delete stuff. I think him blocking you is an excuse tbh. He could have just gone mad took the phone changed his code and moved on but he’s treating you like shit. Why?

I really don't understand the widespread view that the contents of one's phone should be kept secret from loved ones. Why, for god's sake?

There MUST be something incriminating / shameful / threatening on your husband's phone, OP. His is a massive over-reaction if not.

Smoothest outcome would be if he deletes whatever it is, agrees he's overdoing the punishment, and you make up. If this doesn't happen, just fucking ignore him and, on the basis that he has a secret life, start waving goodbye to your marriage.

Wishing you the smooth version, though!

Agree with this & I’d be very angry about it. 2 weeks is a long time for him to not be speaking to you, but have you actually sincerely apologised to him? Otherwise I can see why he’s still not talking to you.

She wantes to use his phone for what? Scrolling his photos???? Why would you allow that? You are the issue here. He is being OTT 2 weeks but I would be livied

He blames you because it’s your fault.

But… two weeks is a long time to not speak, you both need to get over it and move on

If you had done such an gross invasion of privacy, and THAT is the red flag, the silent treatment would be the most polite way I could deal with that.

I applaud the husband, for staying civil and reasonable instead of giving a piece of his mind that he rightly has.

Sometimes it's better being quiet than being honest.

Just because some posters on here don't put their own phone into the "private" category doesn't mean it's not private and it was acceptable for anyone to go through his photo.

He trusted the OP, gave her his passwords, time to change them all and never allow her access to anything.

Maybe he's busy getting his ducks in a row
🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

I am coming to this opinion too. Because there’s silent treatment and then theirs withdrawing, maybe because this is the latest of a long line of behaviour where his boundaries are ignored, overstepped and diminished. I think it’s so telling that OP thinks he needs to ‘get over it’ - there isn’t a single post of hers where I have felt she is taking responsibility. And a bland, insincere apology is worse than no apology at all - smacks of “Well I’m sorry that you’re upset but…” OP is welcome to come back and contradict this hypothesis of course…

Well yes the silent treatment isn't good, but I can see why he doesn't want to speak to OP if she's as dismissive as she has been here.

However thinking about it, it could very well be a reverse in which case OP's position will likely have been written in such a way as to be extremely unreasonable in order to skew answers.

Based on your responses to this thread I am not convinced hes giving you traditional silent treatment. Rather, he simply cannot talk to.you because of your attitude. Silent treatment is abuse when the sulked wants the other one to change behaviours for their own benefit. It's a lot less clear cut when it's clear that any attempt by him to discuss this with you had been minimised.

If I qas your dh I would be seriously considering this relationship. Not just for the initial wrong doing but for.your inability to take responsibility and the fact that you appear to be pitching yourself as the victim.

It's quite funny that the OP did come back to the thread, but only to correct the minor pedantic detail that her husband couldn't have been hiding anything because she knew the passcode rather than take on board anything else. Makes me think it's a reverse and the OP is the husband tbh.

Anyway, agree with everyone else - silent treatment is very bad but in a case such as this immense violation of privacy, maybe understandable for once.

In my experience everyone who uses the phrase ‘get over it’ as a response to being caught doing something they shouldn’t have done is always unreasonable ;)

I’d have been furious in your husband’s shoes as well.

Why didn’t you just give your sister a phone charger?

Its maybe an example of ongoing behaviour he has to put up with. It doesn't sound as if the OP has took responsibility and apologised.

Not wanting people going through your phone doesn't mean you have something to hide. It's a very strange way to think and shows lack of respect.