DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

Eh? I was replying to the quoted post drawing an analogy between phone and handbag.

Ignoring the original situation, I think when one partner refuses to talk to the other for two whole weeks the marriage is over.

I thought mumsnet usually advocated snooping through phones to check on cheating husbands, and DCs using TikTok when they’re not supposed to know it even exists.

You were both snooping then you’ve fed him some cock and bull story about an email. Absolute bull. He has every right to be furious with you. Your sister is a cheeky fucker too, how dare she!

People are not wrong for being upset that someone went through their phone without their permission. Even if I asked to use someone's phone to make a call or something, I wouldn't assume it was ok to go through their pictures.

The silent treatment is abusive, though, I agree with that.

I think you’re being extremely U actually. DH knows my password and me his but if he decided to go through all my photos there’d probably be some I’d be embarrassed for him to see. If he gave it to his sister?! I’d be mortified.

Silent treatment for two weeks isn’t normally okay but you sound like you aren’t taking proper ownership of what you’ve done and you don’t respect his feelings about it.

Someone going through your personal photos isn't innocuous.

Am I the only person here who really wouldn’t care if I came back from the loo and someone was using my phone for something innocuous?

I’ve got annoyed before when someone has intentionally locked me out of my phone by putting in the wrong passcode 10+ times. But even then I had to see the funny side.

If someone doesn’t speak to you for 2 weeks that’s just abuse. The obvious question is what were they hiding.

You've got a nerve!

The silent treatment is wrong - he needs to tell you exactly how he feels

But you don't seem to be in the least bit sorry or to have shown any understanding of what you've done

Very odd for your sister to be scrolling through his phone, I don’t blame him for being annoyed but he’s defo overreacted with the silent treatment 🫣

I’m furious on behalf of your husband so I imagine he gets angry with you every time he thinks about it. You overstepped big time! Figure out how to make it up to him, not how to tell him to get over it. 😠

Why give his phone over,you should have given your own or nothing.I would never hand my husbands phone over.that is his phone his property.i would be fuming too,i have nothing to hide but would be so mad.

I think fair enough if you had let your sister use your own phone but not to pick up your husband’s without asking first. It also sounds like she violated his privacy by having a rummage through the photographs. Honestly I’d be upset too. It’s a massive violation. That said, he has overreacted and has made it look like he has something to hide…

It is an extreme reaction to block his wife , yes.

However, it was really unreasonable to allow your sister to use his phone- and even worse , it was a massive breach of privacy for her to go through his photos ! I would be so angry if someone did this. It’s his privacy. I know that I have things I wouldn’t want anyone to see on my phone - I take photos of myself , when I’m feeling fat to check if I think I am ( and yes these have been naked ones ) , I have friends who have sent me private photos when they have needed advice - and also , I don’t know if this is relevant to you but I know my husband has some very intimate photos of me on his phone so I know he would be furious if I did this to him.

Blocking you is extreme - it’s also childish , you are his wife - but his anger is justifiable .

Maybe it also doubles as a work phone - mine does. It therefore has potentially sensitive info on it and if a third party looked at it it would a breach of GDPR.

If my sister asked to use my phone I don’t know what I could possibly be in the middle of that would be so important that I wouldn’t just hand mine over to her.

No way would I just unlock DH/DC/DMs phones (I know passcodes to them all) and just hand those across.

What were you both looking for?

he's not being weird, the OP has his password?

He was trusting his wife, like a reasonable adult.

She completely abused that trust, and she's not even sorry.

This.

Because you’ve not got a stack of photos, info, emails, messages, etc in your handbag?

It’s really not the same is it?

You were very definitely in the wrong. I would be careful how you tell him to’ get over it’.

Your DS needs a serious bloody talking to, how dare she invade his privacy!

I assume she’s happy for him to return the favour and have a scroll through her photos.

Bloody nerve of her!

Maybe he slept with her best friend and that is why he's being so weird. Why can't everyone have a burner phone - like spies have - for all the stuff they would hate their kids to see.

OMG, 'irrevocably broken his trust' she didn't sleep with his best mate !

OP has his password so it’s not going to be something like an affair.

Very possible that it’s something embarrassing like gym selfies so he can track his progress.

Possibly rude pics that he and OP have sent each other. Nobody wants their IL to see them.

A lot of people have personal info on their phones like membership of an embarrassing Facebook group or following a celebrity who is considered naff by the majority.

She scrolled through his pictures?! 😳