DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

I'd be livid, especially if you didn't seem to appreciate what an invasion it is. It's the modern equivalent of reading someone's diary. I don't buy the 'he must be hiding something' crowd. It's entirely fair to regard this as a very bad trespass whether he has something to hide or not. If he's still not talking after two weeks... have you really shown you get why he has a right to be p off?

I don't think the problem is what my photos say about me, it's what snooping through the photos says about someone I know.

The worst thing in my camera roll is a topless and not especially revealing photo I sent my GP a few months ago. It's not an especially embarrassing health condition either. I don't really mind if anyone accidentally sees it.

But I don't want to have people in my life who actively go and snoop through my private photos because that means I can't trust them, and I'd have to do some thinking about my level of contact with them and how guarded I have to be around them.

Because he doesn't expect you to actually look. Or look properly, obviously 🙄

So...wife has husband's password, opens phone and hands it over, rather than hers. - hmmm.
Sister has urgent need to check emails yet has let her battery go flat, there's apparently no charger available in the house, and she then proceeds to search for the photo gallery and scroll through his photos - hmmmm.
Husband, despite having given wife his password, so presumably nothing to hide, has blocked her from everything and not spoken to her for 2 weeks. Hmmm.
There's a whiff of all round ridiculous BS here. Either the whole thing is complete BS or all 3 have mental, character or IQ deficiencies.
I'd go for BS.

If she was "checking her emails" then why was she in his photos????

He is annoyed as you are lacking any empathy and taking no responsibility for your action

And you don't refuse to apologise or accept responsibility for an 'error of judgement' either.

Two weeks seems a huge amount for time, yes, but what has the OP done in that time to acknowledge the betrayal and broken trust or put it right?

Nothing.

If this had happened the other way round, people wouldn't be describing it as an 'error of judgement' on his part. It would be described as a betrayal and a lack of resepct - a huge red flag - and the onus would be on him to apologise and make amends. Many people would have told her to LTB.

You should have asked her to wait until you were done and then given her your phone. Like you my DH and I have full access to both our phones but there is no way I would have given his to anyone else to use. I’m not surprised he’s angry, however, I do think he’s taken it way too far now. Blocking you is totally OTT and not speaking for even a day very immature.

As I said, crazy responses. Borderline abusive? Behave. An error of judgement, yes. Purposely not speaking to someone for two weeks goes over the borderline. That is abusive. Normal people have a conversation, explain why that was unacceptable and move on. If it’s something you can’t move on from you go to counselling or end the marriage. You don’t give someone the silent treatment for two weeks. It’s childish at best and mentally abusive at worst. Emotionally mature people don’t behave like that. It’s ok to be angry and disappointed, but that is purposeful behaviour to not speak to someone. I can’t believe people think this is ok. I don’t know what kind of relationships some of you must have.

Your sister and you must be closer than you and him as a couple. That was overstepping the mark into his privacy from your family side. His phone is not for gossip, chat or a laugh. Stop belittling him.

I can understand why he was angry and you need to acknowledge that and apologise to him. You made a mistake; this was not acceptable. But then it's time to move on.

What a massive overreaction for him to ignore you for 2 weeks. Does he have form for this?

Did you hand over DH's bank statements & medical records too, OP? Might as well have done.. no wonder he's angry.

Yes, I've acknowledged that.

but just because you aren’t bothered doesn’t mean other people are up to no good just because they want to keep these things more private

I agree that if you know the passcode it is unlikely to be that he is hiding something.

The silent treatment is reasonable until you have apologised properly and recognised the magnitude of what you did. You completely violated his trust in you (he gave you total access to his private stuff). Have you apologised properly, unreservedly now? You need to do that.

…given your posts I’d bet money that you have not properly apologised.

Yeah, see, that's the difference. I'd tell someone I was on Mounjaro if they asked (and if I was, obvs) so no biggie if they found out by themselves. I have some utterly hideous photos of a mole I'm watching, which is placed where I have to hoik a roll of fat out of the way to get a picture. But I'm not pretending to myself or anyone else that I'm a sylph-like figure of perfection so, again, no surprise that my mole pictures show a lump of fat and some moles!

You should see my "How bad does my skin really look when I wake up?" selfies 😂

edited to tag @DramaLlamacchiato

To say he's not hiding anything is so not the point! His reaction does seem extreme - blocking you from family groups? Two weeks? Are you sure theres no history to this, no background? But I can understand him not liking it, especially as she was looking at his photos. I'd apologise and promise not to do it again. If that doesn't help, you have a more serious problem in your relationship.

Well not necessarily. As well as afore mentioned boob photo I have a selection of photos of me in fitted clothes, on scales showing my weight, of my mounjaro box as I was ordering a prescription. I don’t want other people seeing those without consent

Seriously you’re using the word raping omg come on she might have broke his privacy but using that word is an absolute disgrace to what it really means. Very bad choice of word.

You're right, but I've come to the conclusion there's just a massive values difference here. I'm an open book - which isn't to say I go around giving my passwords and medical history to random strangers 😂 I wouldn't be overly concerned if my brother in law rummaged through my handbag or my phone.

There might well be a couple of things in there that I'd find mildly embarrassing, but no Big Secrets. If he chose to make a song and dance about any of it, I'd consider him a giant arsehole and would tell him off for bad manners. But I think we're all old enough now to understand everyone's life has a few awkward bits.

To me, the only reason to hide your self from family members is that you've got 'something to hide', not in a good way. I've got the message that more people than I thought are secretive. I still don't understand it, though!

Why on earth did you give your husbands phone to somebody else? That is tantamount to raping his privacy. This would be a major ick for me.

Also sometimes you can have photos you don’t want anyone to see, not because you’re doing anything wrong but they’re still not for prying eyes. For example I had a boil under my boob last week and took a photo to get a decent look at it, would I fuck want family members scrolling through that!

He’s being a dick by sulking all this time and I wouldn’t tolerate that. I’d tell him to snap out of it or fuck off.

However what the fuck were you playing at? How dare you hand his phone over to someone else? Would it have killed you to either let your sister use yours for a cojone of minutes or let her charge hers up? You sound a right pair as well

I want to know if the level of silent treatment is acceptable. I don’t think it is and I just want to tell him to get over it.

The silent treatment isn’t great no.

But neither is your attitude that he should just ‘get over it’. Quite shocking really.

You AND your sister committed a wildly inappropriate and disrespectful invasion of privacy and trashed the trust.

Seriously, he might be not trusting himself to speak while he decides how secure his relationship is. You trampled on him! You don’t seem to appreciate this.

Your sister is totally wrong to snoop tho dh phone

you were wrong to give her his phone

to use email. Either the new account r gmail hotmail etc would need to be downloaded or if same server then would need to sign out of his to sign into hers

so a lot of hassle

why was this email so important she needed to do it there and then and not wait for phone to charge or you to get off your phone

I’m not surprised he’s pissed off tbh

Are you ok? Why would you give your sister your husband's phone???? Weird