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Original poster

Being heckled at in the shop

193 replies

Applebun · 24/08/2025 13:01

I was walking on a street in London today. I was really enjoying my walk in the sun. An old man shouted something at me. I had my earphones in so i didnt really hear what he was saying. I didnt want to talk to him anyway so i walked by. I went into a shop. He followed me in and said loudly "i just wanted to ask the time, and that woman completely ignored me. She is rude". He said it twice.

Then another man said something to me.

There were two black men in the shop (relevant because of what he said to me) . One of them said to the other man "say it to that woman!"

One of them turned to me and shouted "have you ever had chocolate without any sugar?".

I was a bit shaken and I said no. And they both laughed at me.

I walked out and walked on. I was enjoying my day before that. I just feel so bad now and i cant seem to shake the feeling off. i just want to be able to go for a walk without being shouted at by men

OP posts:
Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:55

SocksAndTheCity · 24/08/2025 14:51

Hardly. I used to live in a small seaside town where casual racism, sexism and misogyny, homophobia and islamophobia were all rife, as well as domestic violence and widespread poverty; despite this I know that the town was not to blame for the behaviour of the people in it.

That said, I have never experienced anything like what you describe in London in eighteen years. That doesn't mean it never happens, just that an isolated incident is hardly something to (again) start slagging off a city of almost ten million people.

If you're angry at the men responsible (as you should be), why is the location even relevant?

Utterly Batshit.

What you are saying makes zero sense.

You asked me why is the location relevant, then you used loads of locations in your post!

Then you wrote "i have never experienced what you describe in london in 18 years".

If locations are not relevant, why did you use the word london in YOUR sentence?

Of course locations are relevant. We talk about where we are when things happen to us.

OP posts:
FlatFlatEric · 24/08/2025 14:55

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/08/2025 14:27

Please provide the stats on assault, abuse and street harassment that indicate ‘women are worse’.

We’ll wait.

Show quote history

I chose not to rise to this. I stand by my comment.

SocksAndTheCity · 24/08/2025 14:51

Hardly. I used to live in a small seaside town where casual racism, sexism and misogyny, homophobia and islamophobia were all rife, as well as domestic violence and widespread poverty; despite this I know that the town was not to blame for the behaviour of the people in it.

That said, I have never experienced anything like what you describe in London in eighteen years. That doesn't mean it never happens, just that an isolated incident is hardly something to (again) start slagging off a city of almost ten million people.

If you're angry at the men responsible (as you should be), why is the location even relevant?

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:47

SocksAndTheCity · 24/08/2025 14:44

Oh, is this today's 'London is a terrible violent shithole where you will definitely die unlike the utopia where I live!' thread? I almost missed it for a second.

No.

Wow again an indovidual with zero empathy.

Instead of you being angry at me for writing about a bad experience that i had in London.

Maybe you should be angry at the men who shouted at me and made me have a bad experience in London? I was enjoying London until that happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:45

BreadstickBurglar · 24/08/2025 14:41

I lived there for ages and rarely encountered this sort of behaviour. It’s more widespread in certain areas but it can happen anywhere and unfortunately you have to develop the “fuck off face” so different from what’s normal in most parts of the country (and Ireland I imagine). You need to look like you will either fuck them up, call the police or otherwise cause trouble for men like this!

Most men I encountered in London were absolutely lovely it’s worth saying, always someone offering to help with a suitcase on stairs or wish me a good morning. And on my first visit to the city I now live in I encountered two complete tossers and haven’t really met any since! So it’s just bad luck to come across these entitled bastards. Don’t judge London on it.

Show quote history

Again, no one is judging the whole of London.

But to be realistic, it is more dangerous walking down the streets of London, then in is walking down the streets in my small seaside English town.

Simply because london is bigger. More people means that more things happen

OP posts:
SocksAndTheCity · 24/08/2025 14:44

Oh, is this today's 'London is a terrible violent shithole where you will definitely die unlike the utopia where I live!' thread? I almost missed it for a second.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:43

BitOutOfPractice · 24/08/2025 14:40

Op I can understand why that shook you up. Very unnerving. Men just don’t seem to get it do they, the effect they can have. Or maybe, as you suggest, they do know age either don’t care or actually enjoy it.

And @ilovesooty Im quite shocked at your response, specially for a Long standing poster. It’s very minimising and dismissive of this woman’s experience. And to say that women getting hassle off men in public isn’t widespread isn’t just dismissive, it’s patently untrue.

Edited

Im still schocked at @ilovesooty 's response.

It was such a weird response!

OP posts:
BreadstickBurglar · 24/08/2025 14:41

Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:32

Yes i live on the south coast. I was actually just up in london for two days to see coldplay at wembley. I only moved to England earlier this year from Ireland. I hadnt seen much of London yet. I was really looking forward to walking around and seeing london.

When i told my colleague last week that i was going to see coldplay in wembley she said
"be careful in London. London is london"

I get what she means now!

Show quote history

I lived there for ages and rarely encountered this sort of behaviour. It’s more widespread in certain areas but it can happen anywhere and unfortunately you have to develop the “fuck off face” so different from what’s normal in most parts of the country (and Ireland I imagine). You need to look like you will either fuck them up, call the police or otherwise cause trouble for men like this!

Most men I encountered in London were absolutely lovely it’s worth saying, always someone offering to help with a suitcase on stairs or wish me a good morning. And on my first visit to the city I now live in I encountered two complete tossers and haven’t really met any since! So it’s just bad luck to come across these entitled bastards. Don’t judge London on it.

BitOutOfPractice · 24/08/2025 14:40

Op I can understand why that shook you up. Very unnerving. Men just don’t seem to get it do they, the effect they can have. Or maybe, as you suggest, they do know age either don’t care or actually enjoy it.

And @ilovesooty Im quite shocked at your response, specially for a Long standing poster. It’s very minimising and dismissive of this woman’s experience. And to say that women getting hassle off men in public isn’t widespread isn’t just dismissive, it’s patently untrue.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 24/08/2025 14:40

Huge shark jump there OP.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 24/08/2025 14:38

As long as people with MH problems are allowed check themselves out whenever they like and wander around shouting at people, these things are going to happen. I'm thinking more of the first man here. There was a thread recently about mad complaints, some really irrational people are out there. The other two men were trying to intimidate you because they are assholes. I'm sorry you are upset but it's best to ignore these guys. If they are doing this for kicks then they have very pathetic lives indeed.

SlushMountain · 24/08/2025 14:38

I love in London and this never happens to be but im fat so men dont even look at me let alone speak to me 😂

MindTheAbyss · 24/08/2025 14:37

That’s horrible, OP. I get why you’re shaken; you went into a shop and instead of that getting you away from the situation, you were followed and others joined in. That’s a pretty terrifying experience as a woman. I hope you have some good things in the rest of your day.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:32

Jaxhog · 24/08/2025 14:29

That was quite grim Op. This why I avoid going into London as often as I used to.

Yes i live on the south coast. I was actually just up in london for two days to see coldplay at wembley. I only moved to England earlier this year from Ireland. I hadnt seen much of London yet. I was really looking forward to walking around and seeing london.

When i told my colleague last week that i was going to see coldplay in wembley she said
"be careful in London. London is london"

I get what she means now!

OP posts:
Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:29

This reply has been deleted

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Jaxhog · 24/08/2025 14:29

That was quite grim Op. This why I avoid going into London as often as I used to.

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 14:27

This reply has been deleted

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I think we will have to agree to disagree, but calling me a psychopath is out of order, in my opinion.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/08/2025 14:27

fantastiq · 24/08/2025 14:25

Women are worse

Show quote history

Please provide the stats on assault, abuse and street harassment that indicate ‘women are worse’.

We’ll wait.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/08/2025 14:25

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I wonder if that poster pops up on every post like that. ‘Shame you were mugged/assaulted/abused, but many women are able to live their lives without encountering experiences like this. Posts like this encourage the idea that it is typical and widespread.’

Madness. For starters, all those things and what happened to you are lamentably widespread. However, even if they weren’t, who gives a fuck? You can still share your experiences!

fantastiq · 24/08/2025 14:25

FlatFlatEric · 24/08/2025 13:50

As a heterosexual woman I can honestly say I hate men and it's been life-changing not choosing to live with them.

Women are worse

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/08/2025 14:22

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 14:07

Yes and posts like this encourage the idea that it is typical and widespread, whereas many women are able to live their lives without encountering experiences like this.

Show quote history

So, she shouldn’t post about her experiences, then? We should only ever post about experiences that you deem sufficiently ‘typical and widespread’? Otherwise, we should all keep schtum?

Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:19

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ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 14:16

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I said I was sorry you'd had that experience. Perhaps you missed that. I don't see anything wrong with saying that it's not a typical one for many women.

BreadstickBurglar · 24/08/2025 14:11

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 14:07

Yes and posts like this encourage the idea that it is typical and widespread, whereas many women are able to live their lives without encountering experiences like this.

Show quote history

You raised that question not the OP. I’ve read all sorts on MN but I haven’t come to the conclusion that eg a small Asian lady moving your garden is typical and widespread. We’re allowed to talk about our own experiences.

Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:10

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