Being heckled at in the shop

This is so bizarre and you were extremely unlucky. I always have my headphones on and I am in London, I always ignore people anyway - it's the beauty of London! It's irrelevant if it's a valid question or not.

But avoiding some nutcase and ending up facing 2 rude and random guys in a shop, it's genuinely unlucky.

What part of London were you in? I am bloody lucky I've never had any encounter like that in town ever.

An old man might not have had a phone. My grandad doesn’t use one.
Are we seriously saying a man can’t ask a woman for the time? Genuinely ask for the time?

Obviously he was wrong. I said that in my first post.
The two things can be true - you were rude and he was wrong.

Everyone has the time on their phone. There’s no need to ask a random person what the time is anymore. I wouldn’t answer either. There were men he could have asked if he’d really needed to know that badly!

You’re really not telling me anything I don’t already know. (Though as an aside I’m a woman and have asked for directions or the time many times. I hope these people didn’t think I was coming on to them).
Of course I’ve seen men use this tactic before, but it’s water off a ducks back. It seems like these men are living in your head rent free. I’m not going to let a few skeezy men stop me from being me.

I’m not a rude person, I’m friendly, approachable and know that there are a lot of decent people in the world (along with the twats) and I’m not going to stop being helpful or friendly to people or make my world smaller. Fuck that.

Sorry this happened to you OP.

At thirteen I got off the tube with my mother and a man jumped in front of me and sang "I wanna fuck your hips" which was frightening and embarrassing. That was the day I learned that London was different.

I was probably 17 before I was harassed on the street wherever I went. I used to model, so conventionally attractive, therefore must be told this by random men, who then get fucking nasty when you aren't bowled over by their gawps and shouting.

London is far worse than anywhere else I've experienced, namely because there are more people there. Arseholes are nationwide. But in the nice little village I live in now, anyone I pass by foot must live within a minute of my house and if they suggested they wanted to "fuck my hips" my DH would be round asking for a word. Hence it's never happened.

That's the difference. They'll abuse a stranger they know can't do anything about it. Wouldn't fucking dare if they had to be accountable for that to a man. I'll get beeped at/hollered at by morons driving past if I'm in the front garden alone. Men are cunts.

Only place this has never, ever happened to me, when walking alone, is Geneva.

I don’t understand the sugar part either….. but I’d be upset to be shouted at in the street

No you don’t ‘have’ to talk to anyone but I do find it rude. I’ve had negative interactions with men in my life too and keep my wits about me but I’m not so guarded that I won’t let someone ask me a question. Have you never asked a stranger for the time or for directions?

I think it’s very sad that you wouldn’t give anyone on the street the time of day. Not everyone is out to get you. Don’t let stupid men make you shut yourself off from the world around you, that’s giving them way too much power.

Absolutely this. And no, I wouldn't take my earphones off just because some random dude is speaking to me in the street. He's not owed a response.

You're lucky if you've never experienced being followed and pestered for your phone number /a date/ sex by strange men. It used to happen to me every few weeks when I lived in a rough area for a few years in my 20s.

I’m sorry this happened to you OP and can see why you’re shaken up. Hopefully with a bit of time it’ll just become a strange anecdote. I really hope it doesn’t put you off exploring.

I’ve lived on and off in central london (and other cities) since uni and have had a few similar experiences in that time - I reconcile it with the fact it’s a tiny proportion of interactions (but it absolutely does still rattle). I also realise that the behaviours I’ve learned (no wearing headphones when walking, crossing the street, having auto-responses when approached by randoms, etc) are so engrained they’re second nature - I’m not sure it’s a good way to be but it’s the way I am now.

I hope the rest of the afternoon brings you cake / wine / whatever floats your boat

Even though you’ve found the stats that prove that women are more violent than men and commit more crimes than men? That women are the worst offenders for harassment and sexual offences? What admirable restraint you display! 🙄

I’m sorry you experienced these bloody gobby idiot men. I’m not surprised it shook you up a bit, they ganged up to intimidate and humiliate a woman 😡

Sadly though it seems it can happen anywhere, some men are just so fucking entitled they believe they can demand women pay them attention whenever they want it.

Well. It DOES happen a lot in London, and where I live now IS a comparative Utopia.

It is typical. If you have never experieced a strange man tell you to 'smile love', whistle at you, shout something at you, make a crude remark/joke about you as you walk past, try to mug you or attack you, you are lucky.

I think you were rude to not take your headphones out when you were aware someone was trying to speak to you. The man in question sounds like a twat but you didn’t know that when you ignored him.

Would you have walked past and ignored and old white lady you could see was trying to ask you something?

Er, because I'm in London and you have implied multiple times that this incident happened because you were in London (the only location I mentioned in my post, btw) and not because some men are cunts.

Since nobody's reading comprehension is this bad and you're obviously on the wind up, I'm out.