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Original poster

Being heckled at in the shop

193 replies

Applebun · 24/08/2025 13:01

I was walking on a street in London today. I was really enjoying my walk in the sun. An old man shouted something at me. I had my earphones in so i didnt really hear what he was saying. I didnt want to talk to him anyway so i walked by. I went into a shop. He followed me in and said loudly "i just wanted to ask the time, and that woman completely ignored me. She is rude". He said it twice.

Then another man said something to me.

There were two black men in the shop (relevant because of what he said to me) . One of them said to the other man "say it to that woman!"

One of them turned to me and shouted "have you ever had chocolate without any sugar?".

I was a bit shaken and I said no. And they both laughed at me.

I walked out and walked on. I was enjoying my day before that. I just feel so bad now and i cant seem to shake the feeling off. i just want to be able to go for a walk without being shouted at by men

OP posts:
Strawberrryfields · 24/08/2025 16:28

LizzieW1969 · 24/08/2025 16:09

@Strawberrryfields No, the OP was not rude, she was being cautious. She didn’t owe him a response. (I personally do respond, but I am wary of being approached by strange men because of past trauma.)

Why are you so intent on making her feel bad? The man’s reaction was completely out of order, and bullying.

In what way have I been intent on making her feel bad? Because I think she was rude initially? She was. That doesn’t excuse his behaviour, he was clearly totally out of order.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/08/2025 16:27

FlatFlatEric · 24/08/2025 16:26

To be honest, yes, most of them. This is a relatively new development. I'm approaching 50 and I know men of all ages from teens to the elderly. There are a handful of rare diamonds.

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I’m sorry, that’s really sad. Hope you find a few diamond friends in years to come 😊

FlatFlatEric · 24/08/2025 16:26

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/08/2025 16:23

You hate all men?

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To be honest, yes, most of them. This is a relatively new development. I'm approaching 50 and I know men of all ages from teens to the elderly. There are a handful of rare diamonds.

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:23

Fairyliz · 24/08/2025 16:18

Well I’m another woman who has had it happen to me, so the op is not the only one.
They are annoying twats, sorry this happened op.

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of course there are annoying twats everywhere, but most of us are never faced with them.

Let's not pretend that it's impossible to be a woman in London, it's simply not true. You don't get targeted by gangs armed with machetes either - they do exist, some areas I would avoid but they are a total non-issue for most of us, they could be in NY city for all the difference it makes.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/08/2025 16:23

FlatFlatEric · 24/08/2025 13:50

As a heterosexual woman I can honestly say I hate men and it's been life-changing not choosing to live with them.

You hate all men?

Strawberrryfields · 24/08/2025 16:22

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:13

Right. When a man walks a long way after you on the street, follows you into a shop

and shouts at you in the shop,

I will tell you that it is your fault for not being polite enough.

Some women like you always blame other women

Edited
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‘Women like me’. Get over yourself.

I haven’t said it was your fault, he’s of course responsible for his reaction. But it’s common sense that if you’re rude to people some will brush it off and others will take it to the extreme.

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:21

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:17

Its not safe to talk to strange men on the street.

I didnt say they are all serial killers. A lot of them are simply violent

You are naive if you think they are all lovely and friendly.

My friend was just walking a long a street in london in the day time, and a man came up and punched her in the face.

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it's not healthy to feel unsafe all the time. What can of life do you have?

I am not naive and think every one is lovely and friendly - part of the reason why I don't interact with people and I love London because I don't have to.

London is not more dangerous than any other place, and it's not common or normal to be assaulted in the street. Of course it happens, shit happens everywhere, but it's one incident when million of people live or visit London!

HopscotchBanana · 24/08/2025 16:21

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:15

Ive never been shouted at in my small seaside town, I have to say.

I just think its because more people know each other.

So the drunk lairy bloke won't shout at me, because he is friends with a man that i work with,

so he won't want to harrass me. As it wIll make him look bad to his friend.

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In the interest of balance, I will say that I probably found my most "lecherous" day out was in Great Yarmouth.

London I found relentless. Just comments and cat calling and "oi oi sweetheart" which just wears you out. Whilst the men in Gt Yarmouth were fewer in interaction, but seedy, vile and racist (to my black friend, also a model).

I got hissed at by a woman there because her toothless wonder man was gawping. Literally hissed at.

ginasevern · 24/08/2025 16:19

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 16:18

I'm not a bloke.
I don't live on a desert island.
I'm not posting from a convent.

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You surprise me.

Fairyliz · 24/08/2025 16:18

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 13:45

I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience, but I doubt that it's typical or widespread.

Well I’m another woman who has had it happen to me, so the op is not the only one.
They are annoying twats, sorry this happened op.

ilovesooty · 24/08/2025 16:18

ginasevern · 24/08/2025 16:16

@ilovesooty

"I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience, but I doubt that it's typical or widespread."

It fucking well is. The dirty talk, catcalls and stares usually start from age 11. If you're a bloke you wouldn't know that. But if you're actually a woman then you either live on a desert island or you're posting from a convent.

Edited

I'm not a bloke.
I don't live on a desert island.
I'm not posting from a convent.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:17

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:15

so you think EVERY single killer in the UK will wait for you to help before he strikes you? For goodness sakes, stop watching too much drama😂

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Its not safe to talk to strange men on the street.

I didnt say they are all serial killers. A lot of them are simply violent

You are naive if you think they are all lovely and friendly.

My friend was just walking a long a street in london in the day time, and a man came up and punched her in the face.

OP posts:
Clafoutie · 24/08/2025 16:16

Applebun · 24/08/2025 15:14

I completely disagree. I don't have to talk to anyone.

I never speak to anyone that speaks to me on the street like that.

Men pretend to do things like this (asking what the time is) as an excuse to talk to women. I have learned this from experience.

I remember being on holiday once when I was younger. I was walking down the street. A man stopped me and asked me for directions. I said "i dont know". He then asked me to go for a drink . I said 'sorry i have a boyfriend"
The next day i was walking down the street again. He stopped me and asked me for directions to the same place again. He forgot that he had already asked me. I saw him pretending to be lost , and asking other women for directions

I do not owe any man on the street my time.

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Exactly this. And yes, @Strawberrryfields , someone might well respond to an ‘old white lady’ asking them something, because statistically that is much less likely to lead to some sort of proposition or abuse.

NPET · 24/08/2025 16:16

Do NOT feel bad!
Men will always say or shout things at us. They think we're objects that'll be pleased to hear their voices.
I just ignore them - whether or not I'm wearing earphones.

ginasevern · 24/08/2025 16:16

@ilovesooty

"I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience, but I doubt that it's typical or widespread."

It fucking well is. The dirty talk, catcalls and stares usually start from age 11. If you're a bloke you wouldn't know that. But if you're actually a woman then you either live on a desert island or you're posting from a convent.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:15

LittleBitofBread · 24/08/2025 16:13

Not sure about that. Many small towns and rural areas have high levels of social deprivation, poverty etc. I find e.g. Margate more seedy than London.

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Ive never been shouted at in my small seaside town, I have to say.

I just think its because more people know each other.

So the drunk lairy bloke won't shout at me, because he is friends with a man that i work with,

so he won't want to harrass me. As it wIll make him look bad to his friend.

OP posts:
DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:15

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:09

Ted bundy did wait for the women to help him, before he struck them actually.

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so you think EVERY single killer in the UK will wait for you to help before he strikes you? For goodness sakes, stop watching too much drama😂

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:13

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:08

I dont think its "unlucky" really, seeing as a poster above wrote that she got shouted at by men, every time she walked down a street by herself

Also remember when they made a video about how much women got sexually harassed on the streets in new york.

A camera followed one woman walking through new york. She got shouted at and harrassed by about twenty men

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most of us are out and about in London (and not just London) every single day of our life and dont' get shouted at. No need to exagerate.

If you are crossing the street without looking and piss off a driver or a cyclist, yes, you will be shouted at (not saying they would be right - or wrong - but they do shout). Apart from that, we live safely and normally.

London is not a specially scary place, it's a town like any other.

LittleBitofBread · 24/08/2025 16:13

Applebun · 24/08/2025 14:45

Again, no one is judging the whole of London.

But to be realistic, it is more dangerous walking down the streets of London, then in is walking down the streets in my small seaside English town.

Simply because london is bigger. More people means that more things happen

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Not sure about that. Many small towns and rural areas have high levels of social deprivation, poverty etc. I find e.g. Margate more seedy than London.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:13

Strawberrryfields · 24/08/2025 16:11

You’re clearly very set in your opinion but I think you’re being ridiculous. Not all women are scared at the prospect of a minor interaction with an elderly man.

For me asking someone for directions on the street is a completely normal thing to do.

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Right. When a man walks a long way after you on the street, follows you into a shop

and shouts at you in the shop,

I will tell you that it is your fault for not being polite enough.

Some women like you always blame other women

OP posts:
Strawberrryfields · 24/08/2025 16:11

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:02

Ive never asked anyone for directions on the street as I always use google maps.

I was just thinking of worst case scenario. If my mobile phone died and i absolutely had to ask someone for directions, I would go into a shop/ restaurant and ask for directions there. That person would feel safe as there are other people around.

There is no way that i would go up to a woman walking alone on the street and ask her for directions. I would know that it might scare her, having a stranger approach her on the street.

You’re clearly very set in your opinion but I think you’re being ridiculous. Not all women are scared at the prospect of a minor interaction with an elderly man.

For me asking someone for directions on the street is a completely normal thing to do.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:09

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:08

😂

Well , yes, it's not untrue, but no need to over-react either 😂
Most of us ignore people because w can't be arsed and we are busy listening to our own things.

If a serial killer is after you, he won't wait politely for you to give him directions before striking 😂😂

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Ted bundy did wait for the women to help him, before he struck them actually.

OP posts:
LizzieW1969 · 24/08/2025 16:09

@Strawberrryfields No, the OP was not rude, she was being cautious. She didn’t owe him a response. (I personally do respond, but I am wary of being approached by strange men because of past trauma.)

Why are you so intent on making her feel bad? The man’s reaction was completely out of order, and bullying.

Original poster
Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:08

DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:06

This is so bizarre and you were extremely unlucky. I always have my headphones on and I am in London, I always ignore people anyway - it's the beauty of London! It's irrelevant if it's a valid question or not.

But avoiding some nutcase and ending up facing 2 rude and random guys in a shop, it's genuinely unlucky.

What part of London were you in? I am bloody lucky I've never had any encounter like that in town ever.

I dont think its "unlucky" really, seeing as a poster above wrote that she got shouted at by men, every time she walked down a street by herself

Also remember when they made a video about how much women got sexually harassed on the streets in new york.

A camera followed one woman walking through new york. She got shouted at and harrassed by about twenty men

OP posts:
DeborahKerr · 24/08/2025 16:08

Applebun · 24/08/2025 16:03

No I wasn't rude.

Refusing to answer people can be the safest thing to do. I take care of my safety.

Ted bundy (the serial killer) used to approach women on the street and ask them for help.

He then got them to his car and hit them over the head with something. This then led to their deaths.

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😂

Well , yes, it's not untrue, but no need to over-react either 😂
Most of us ignore people because w can't be arsed and we are busy listening to our own things.

If a serial killer is after you, he won't wait politely for you to give him directions before striking 😂😂