Husband has got extreme views

A lot of moderate religious people see the stories like in the bible as sort of fables, that can be interpreted in different ways, not necessarily to be taken at face value. They are also curious and question. I have a friend who is both a scientist and a Catholic and questions and discusses how the two can co-exist. It’s always interesting to talk to her and what she believes and why.

I couldn’t be with someone who though I was sheeple.

It sounds like he's already on the path to right-wing extremism with his obsession with immigrants.

Tell him not to worry, Reform will be in power soon and will put everything right.

I know a guy who believes every theory going no matter how daft, yet doesn't see that he is a 'sheeple' to those theories as much as someone who believes everything a government tell you too.
He spends literally every free moment 'researching' whatever the latest is. He spouts this treaty that treaty, some law, quoting parts but often muddles UK and USA.
Some of it is thought provoking, I will admit. Covid was the catalyst though, a mild interest became an obsession with 'elites' and 'we know jack, they hide everything and tell us bullshit', he gets louder and louder as he's so passionate.

Is it less about what he believes but more about how he goes on and on about it? Like if he believed in the luteral interpretation of the Bible, that the world was made in 200 days and is only 2000 years old or whatever, you wouldn't mind if that was something he believed and didn't actively try to convert you to. But the frustration is because he is effectively trying to convert you to his 'religion'? Is that the difference for you, that he is actively pushing these views on you and trying to make you change yours?

To be honest I would leave, I can't cope with someone so incapable of being rational. But I'm sure it is a very tough choice.

Except the UK is not straining at the seams. A little matter of 265,000 long term empty homes demonstrates that.

Personally, I could not live with somebody who held these ridiculous views. How can anyone respect somebody who believes that the earth is flat? I would just lose all respect, I'm afraid. Only you know whether you can put up with it for the rest of your life.

Surely it's a matter of time before he starts trying to indoctrinate them? I couldn't put up with that.

Frankly yes, much worse. I'm an atheist RS teacher. The whole point of faith is that it is a "leap" and CANNOT be categorically, scientifically proven to be true..I'm talking about the existence of God here, not whether holy books are infallible facts. Flat earth, vaccines, climate change, Illuminati etc can all be examined in scientific, methodical ways and only through blind and willful ignorance will you continue. There's nothing to respect there. Whilst fundamentally disagreeing with the whole premise of a conscious, loving God, I have enormous respect for the people of faith I work with and have encountered over the years who take a very intelligent and nuanced view of faith, religion, holy books etc.

It would be a deal breaker for me I’m afraid and I couldn’t stay married to him. I think there are some things you can tolerate while feeling uncomfortable as long as you have some boundaries (e.g. I’m veggie and don’t believe in eating animals but my partner eats meat) But these sound like they are pretty extreme and are going to get worse

Seeing as so many of these conspiracy theories are just antisemitic tropes and the up in the great replacement theory I'd be wary of being with someone with those views

this! why is there is a need to proselytise?! I don’t care if you think the government are alien snakes, why does it need to dominate the conversation. Why do you need an audience, I’d be the same about someone who banged on about religion.

its the inability to be normal or have nice friendly chats, or watch a film or go for a walk without the ranting and raving. Basically living with a permanent street preacher. Yuck

As a religious Jew just to point out most religious people don’t believe holy texts are the literal truth. This who do are a tiny percent of Jewish communities and certain sects of Christianity. We have faith we aren’t stupid. I have a phd in Primatology which disproves the divine creation angle if I had ever believed.

Anyway on to your husband I would have a a very firm word because he’s going down a dangerous path which usually leads into in cell hating women and far right extremism. The majority of people pushing the conspiracy theories that the royal family are lizards the office is Flat et cetera et cetera don’t actually believe these things. They’re just looking for vulnerable easily manipulated targets to move onto more extreme beliefs. Just the same way that most online scams are absolutely obvious i.e. Nigerian Prince they’re not looking to be sneaky. They’re looking to people for people that will do things without question or thinking for themselves.

He may not talk about these things in front of your children now, but I can guarantee if he continues to go down this path he will talk about them because it will become his whole personality and also how he acts will change so they will inevitably be affected.

And really do you actually want to be married and have your children around a man that’s willing to go on a protest against some of the most vulnerable people in society?

Try not to respond or engage with his talk about it? It might be a phase and he will hopefully forget about it?

Oh and my wife still refuses to talk to any people who voted Brexit. So these rifts can last a long time

I would just divorce him, it obviously bothers you enough to post on here about it.

I couldn't be with someone who believed in the bible creation story either because it would mean rejecting all scientific facts and evidence relating to evolution.

Ultra religious fanatics like those on the American right and conspiracy theorists seem to have a lot in common. They believe that men are superior to women and that white people are superior to brown people. They believe that scientifically proven facts are actually a hoax. Promoting these views is often a money-making grift, preying on vulnerable and stupid people.

Unfortunately, when people go down these rabbit holes, their new beliefs never make them kinder and more compassionate.

We ended up at a friend’s BBQ and met a flat earther. I thought this was just an expression describing someone with alternative or backward views. No she genuinely believed that the earth was flat. She spouted the line “well how do you know, you only believe what the scientists tell you”. Anyway my wife came back with the best put down line ever “I know the earth isn’t flat because I once flew on Concorde and I’ve seen the curvature of the earth, so I suggest you grow up”

I'd have to leave someone with such extreme views.
It would be because if someone has gone down that route of thinking 'being prepared' 'being taken over' I would be concerned what the next thing would be and how far he would go to 'protect me and the kids'.
I wouldn't be able to live with that risk we all know where my concerns going.

And some of the people attending think TR and those men are utter pr*cks but they are scared about their safety/their daughters' safety and want to make their voices heard.

In 2018, only about 200 people crossed the channel.

The Channel crossings are a relatively recent phenomenon and has replaced people stowing away in lorries. That route has become more secure and is no longer as easy, hence the rise in boat crossings. Not to mention the business models of the gangs which has ramped up numbers exponentially.

Brexit may have made it harder to negotiate returns agreements but the fact that boat crossings are up by 50% in the last year shows that there are many many more complex factors as to why people choose to leave France and come to the UK.

And OP, to avoid derailing your thread further and bring it back to the original question - it sounds to me that a) only you can decide if your husband has extreme views beyond which you are willing to tolerate and b) the thing you said that stood out to me was that he is 'obsesssed'. No matter what the views, obsession is unhealthy.

I agree with this. Sorry OP. In RL the people I know with conspiracy views are completely taken over by them. It becomes their identity and community. It’s like an online cult and mind control. And it doesn’t even make them happy as their views are about us all being under threat and controlled.

There is no room for discussion or real
communication with them as any alternative views or sources of information are part of the conspiracy and so are instantly dismissed.

I will never again form a friendship with someone with conspiracy views and could not be in a relationship with someone with this views.

The conspiracy movement is a really pernicious one.

@UnsureDifferences Still reading the thread but just want you to know you're not alone <3 my husband is the same, so great in every other way, but when he gets into these topics he gets so heated and seems to take anything other than vehement agreement as some sort of absurdly unfounded personal slight 😓I really do think there's some sort of brainwashing & indoctrination at play and I hope so badly that it's a phase of some sort and that something will happen to give him a jolt...sorry you're going through this, it's such an odd and frustrating position to be in

The moon is quite obviously not made of cheese but the UK is straining at the seams, so your comparison is false.

OP, your point about the comparison with religious views is an interesting one. I’ve got two thoughts about it.

First, belief in a religion is not a question of intelligence or logic: that’s why it’s called "faith". The tenets of the religion can’t be objectively proved to be correct - adherents just have to believe and have faith. But does your DH just have faith, or does he attempt to justify his beliefs, and discount rational argument, with "proof" or "logic"? How? For instance, if the earth is flat how does he explain things gradually disappearing over the horizon at sea? How does the sun appear to move across the sky? Does he really think that every single photograph taken by pilots, including all the amateur ones, showing the curvature of the Earth, has been faked?

Linked to this: I might be able to cope with someone having religious beliefs (ridiculous though I think they are) if they kept them largely to themselves, but if they kept talking about it and trying to persuade or convert me or our children I would find that impossible to live with, because I could not respect the conspiracy theorist.

Conspiracy theorists seem to have a need to consider themselves cleverer than everyone else. It’s an unattractive trait.