Husband has got extreme views

In a lot of ways it is similar to joining a cult. Whether I could stay or not would depends on a lot of different things: was he trying to covert me, was he going deeper and deeper or there were some signs of rational thought, how extreme he was, how insulting he is with my differing opinion, are there financial implications …

I would find it very hard to respect these views and that might make the relationship not work.

This ^^.

FWIW my FIL developed some extreme political views. The onset of Alzheimers came not long after and we ade reflecting on this now.

@JHound why do you think it's worse?!

Yes, exactly right.

The COVID conspiracies are a perfect example and really showed that human behaviour has not changed that much in many hundreds of years.

If, instead of a random and brutal pandemic, Covid was the result of someone acting with agency, even if with utterly malign intent, then the whole thing could be stopped. If it was really a WEF hoax to impose control over our movements via vaccine passports, or a cashless society or , microchips in your veins, whatever madness was doing the rounds, then as soon as everyone found them out and refused to comply the whole thing would just go away.

However scary all that is, for some people it is clearly less frightening than the terrifying reality that we can have little control over natural events such as pandemics. The irony if course being that they reject the verge things that offer some control mechanisms as part of the conspiracy

It would personally be a deal-breaker for me. I couldn't date someone with vastly opposing political views. I also couldn't date someone religious. And, unfortunately, I couldn't tolerate dating someone who has been drawn into believing the earth is flat or that the world is ran by a Satanic child eating cabal.

I do think most people who are sucked into this shit have other things going on e.g. mental health, a lack of community, adverse childhood experiences etc. I have a lot of empathy for people who get drawn into something which is almost akin to a cult, and I'd have no issue supporting people and hearing them out, I just couldn't date one of them.

This. It's all the manifestation of fear, anxiety and need for control.

I think the problem is twofold. One is that he holds extreme believes, but if you could just agree to disagree and not talk about it, then it might bearable.

But, not only does he hold these believes, he is trying to shove them down your throat as well. I would not be able to accept that part.

Dear God.

If you think there is a deliberate plot to replace yt people in Europe you are an idiot.

I think believing the earth is flat and the moon landings fake is absolutely worse that believing in
bible stories.

Therein lies the difference, these unfortunate people, once they believe one conspiracy (Labour is deliberately importing illegals to replace the white population) it's almost as if they must believe all of them.

Ah yes, replacement migration, the conspiracy theory so outlandish that the United Nations actually produced a whole document on how to do it: www.un.org/development/desa/pd/sites/www.un.org.development.desa.pd/files/unpd-egm_200010_un_2001_replacementmigration.pdf

Having views: fine.
Boring on about those views to you: not fine.
Trying to convert you/the DC to those views: not fine.
Acting in weird ways that negatively affect your day-to-day life: not fine.

It doesn't matter what his pet subject is if he's being boring.

That's not remotely what happens. The Bible is simply not one homogenous text. The process of inclusion happened in the 2/3rd century by perfectly fallible human bishops, who may or may not have been guided by the holy spirit. There are a million ways of looking at the Fall as a metaphor for humanity's failure to live up to what we're capable of in different ways. Again, I'm an atheist but have a theology degree and teach RS to A level. It's simply too complex to say the Bible IS one thing or another.

This man is talking about going on ‘the marches’. Which at the moment means descending on accommodation and intimidating the human beings inside. With some prepared to set fire to buildings with people inside.

Opinions about social and political issues are one thing. Behaviour directly targeting and threatening migrants themselves is another.

I follow “Lalaletmeexplain” on Insta and she says this is the #1 type of message she gets from women - their partners being radicalised into the alt/far- right. My friend experience the same with her ex (luckily unmarried.)

I hope your husband sees sense.

The trouble with framing it as ‘mental illness’ is that even if it is the person concerned will never admit that or get any help so it gets you no further forward. My friend thinks her DH must be mentally ill as he has changed so much and this did happen after some bereavements and difficult stuff plus Covid but it doesn’t help her as he will not agree to meds or therapy. She now feels she ought not to leave him because ‘in sickness and in health’

It is hopeless I'm afraid, this happened to an ex of mine and I started off thinking oh well different politics/opinions we can still tolerate and respect our differences but it was impossible. It was very embarrassing when he would talk about this sort of stuff in front of friends and I became isolated, people who didn't know me that well assumed I was also some sort of fascist/weirdo/conspiracy theorist, over 3 years he became more entrenched in it all and would get extremely angry with me for not agreeing with these views, think the great replacement, qanon sort of stuff. He eventually became extremely demented and dangerous. Because I didn't agree that the Muslims were coming to rape us all he pulled at the steering wheel while I was driving nearly killing us in a car accident, then punched me in the face. Just get out now before you are isolated completely, honestly people will totally be distancing themselves from you as well as him but won't say so to your face. There is no hope.

They may not like that the UK is more diverse than 50 years ago, but going on marches and shouting racial slurs and intimidating slogans outside asylum hotels and immigration centres aren't acceptable things to do.

Cherry picking the Bible is like saying "I think what God meant to say is..."

If you don't believe in creation, the garden of Eden and the whole thing with the snake and Eve's sin, then where did original sin come from? What was the point of Christ and redemption, if you don't believe that sin happened as described in the Bible? It's some mental gymnastics bending all that to fit into a modern scientific context.

Being concerned about mass immigration isn’t an ‘extreme view’. It’s perfectly rational. Anyone who raises concerns is now dismissed as extreme. I actually saw someone who wanted to deport a convicted rapist described as ‘far-right’!! People who think that makes you far-right are the real lunatics.

This isn't like a run of the mill religious difference, ie one person believes God created the world, one doesn't. It's a difference of one person being a fanatic whose beliefs encourage them to cruelty & dehumanising others. People like this usually only go further down the rabbit hole, and depending on the kind of person they are it can lead to some bad places. I would run.

He sounds a bit thick but I bet he thinks he’s really clever and it’s everyone else that’s dim!

I think you can leave for any reason, and most/many people would for this. I would make some kind of clear statement like 'your beliefs and values have changed, they are impacting on me because you discuss them a lot but refuse to engage in reasonable discussion about them. I don't know whether they would have changed anyway or whether you have been through a low point and leant into them for psychological reasons. I can't carry on as things are.' Don't try to talk about the beliefs, but the behaviours that impact you. You are not alone, there is a lot of this about. Bastard online grifting malign influencers.

The Bible was written by dozens of different people over about 1500 years. They had different agendas and different purposes in writing. The mushroom thing is related to John of Patmos who wrote Revelations which about visions of the future / afterlife. There's some theories that Patmos had hallucinogenic mushrooms on it. The extend to which it is historical depends on faith, which bit you're talking about (wildly different if Old or New Testament for a start) and the process of transmission..though people overstate that...the whole "Chinese whispers" thing doesn't apply. Texts from 1000 years apart are identical and the procedures followed even today for transcribing Torah scrolls for instance Indicate extreme care.

I'm going with MH crisis of some sort or there have been signs that's he's hard of thinking for ages that you've ignored. I couldn't live with someone who thought the Earth was flat or the moon landing fake. That's just beyond the pale, I'd lose complete respect for them.