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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to invade England and claim the throne?

94 replies

GuillameDucdeNormandie · 23/08/2025 22:44

I’ve been a lurker for a while and hoping I can benefit from your wise advice.

I’ve been Duke of Normandy for a while now but like any early medieval noble, I’m keen to progress. I’ve had my eye on the English crown for while now. I’m distantly related to Edward the Confessor and he’s got no heir, so it seemed like a perfect fit, yeah?

Anyway, I dropped lucky 10 or so years ago when Edward agreed to back me as his heir. His brother in law, Harold, also swore allegiance to my claim.

Roll forward and Edward has just died; imagine my shock to hear Harold has claimed the throne, the duplicitous shit!

So, in these circumstances, AIBU to launch a full scale invasion of England? Or should I just suck it up?

OP posts:
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bellocchild · 31/08/2025 16:40

When you contract the embroiderers, make very sure they don't skimp on the materials: the linen backing they used needs to last at least 900 years, so it needs to be exhibition quality. No nipping down the market for 68.3 metres of cheapo fabric.

Gingerwarthog · 31/08/2025 11:17

YABU! Harold and you were getting on fine til your brother got involved, right? Plus he’s a good lad, saved some of your boys from drowning at Mont St Michel and you both like dogs and horses? Job share??

LidlAmaretto · 25/08/2025 21:47

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 14:51

I didnt learn any of this from history lessons, I love history and informally studied it as an adult

I learnt it all from DS x 2's history lessons!

chuzzlewitthechipmunk · 25/08/2025 10:06

Just make sure your kids and their kids (and their kids) know how to behave. In particular, keep an eye on those sons of yours.

(A Level Medieval History in the late 90s was the best course ever, even if hardly any of us did it).

Uricon2 · 25/08/2025 09:23

Oh, and we all saw through that "swearing an oath on the bones of a saint" stunt you tried to pull.

Kind Regards

The Witan

HilaryThorpe · 25/08/2025 06:31

I live in your town Guillaume and I'd just like to remind you that the white lines in your car park need repainting and there are too many campervans outside. I think you need to do a bit of tidying up before you head off to England.

ghostyslovesheets · 25/08/2025 06:25

Only if you leave your bloody archways at home! I mean they are very nice and all that but in the future some poor child might be forced - every holiday, to go look at one when they’d rather be watching Tizwas.

like the book idea though

sashh · 25/08/2025 06:21

Marmaladelover · 24/08/2025 14:56

“Cept the Normans were never french in the first place , they spoke it but were actually Viking invaders / settlers - i learnt that from my Asterix books .

Show quote history

They spoke a dialect of it. That's why we have William as a name not Guillaume, the 'G' was pronounced as a 'W'.

BasiliskStare · 24/08/2025 23:40

I notice as so often on MN the OP has disappeared. Is this a rogue thread or is the OP even now crossing the channel with French nobles and mercenaries.

Come back @GuillameDucdeNormandie and let us know how you got on.
🏹👑☄⚔

AdaColeman · 24/08/2025 20:31

Have you been watching too many shows like Homes under the Hammer and Location Location Location @GuillameDucdeNormandie and you feel you'd like a second home?
You could be lucky, as Harold and his army are on manoeuvres up North.

Also you've got a lot going for you with the 1066 date, not to mention the possibility of a Christmas Day coronation, your publicity machine has come up trumps there!

On the down side, you might be remembered as the person who invented estate agents, as un petit oiseau has told me you plan an inventory of all the property in the country.

Sunwarddangledhardens · 24/08/2025 19:31

Stay in your lane! We have a lot going for us and we don’t need you cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys muscling in.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 24/08/2025 19:18

Just don't let Rupert Lowe spot you, he'll be tweeting all sorts

JustFish · 24/08/2025 19:15

I think you should definitely invade. That will be one in the eye for Harold

CoffeeCantata · 24/08/2025 19:13

Definitely! Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough! 🤣

Elsvieta · 24/08/2025 19:08

I dunno, did you see what happened to that Hardrada bloke? I mean, no offence mate, but I don't think you're tougher than him.

OooPourUsACupLove · 24/08/2025 18:23

Marmaladelover · 24/08/2025 17:31

What was the other ?

Show quote history

55 BC

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1066_and_All_That

1066 and All That - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1066_and_All_That

OdeToTheNorthWestWind · 24/08/2025 18:14

When are you thinking of coming over? Do you think you could conquer in time for a Christmas coronation? I could start making a pudding🤔

Marmaladelover · 24/08/2025 17:31

OooPourUsACupLove · 24/08/2025 16:29

1066 being of course one of the two Genuine Dates of British History.

What was the other ?

OooPourUsACupLove · 24/08/2025 16:29

1066 being of course one of the two Genuine Dates of British History.

NoVibrato · 24/08/2025 15:35

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 14:51

I didnt learn any of this from history lessons, I love history and informally studied it as an adult

Older people usually had to do 1066 and all that in school!

NoVibrato · 24/08/2025 15:32

Marmaladelover · 24/08/2025 14:56

“Cept the Normans were never french in the first place , they spoke it but were actually Viking invaders / settlers - i learnt that from my Asterix books .

Show quote history

I stand corrected and I should have remembered the Asterix canon! Mind you,, t the Vikings didn't play particularly fair either (all that raiding and pillaging) . . .

Marmaladelover · 24/08/2025 14:56

NoVibrato · 24/08/2025 14:03

I am slightly moved to tears that we all remember our history lessons so well! Personally I always thought it deeply unfair that after defeating one set of invaders oop north and having to do a forced march south, Harold and his army had to try to do it all over again. THE FRENCH NEVER PLAY FAIR!

“Cept the Normans were never french in the first place , they spoke it but were actually Viking invaders / settlers - i learnt that from my Asterix books .

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 14:51

I didnt learn any of this from history lessons, I love history and informally studied it as an adult

Havanananana · 24/08/2025 14:47

More bloody foreigners coming over the Channel in small boats and turning the country into an island of strangers. Expecting us to abide by their laws, eat their food, refusing to integrate with the locals and taking over all the local businesses - and all the while speaking "forrin."

How dare they mess with our tradition of strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government!

NoVibrato · 24/08/2025 14:03

I am slightly moved to tears that we all remember our history lessons so well! Personally I always thought it deeply unfair that after defeating one set of invaders oop north and having to do a forced march south, Harold and his army had to try to do it all over again. THE FRENCH NEVER PLAY FAIR!