MIL using racist term around DD

That reminds me I ended a friendship when a friend who as also a nurse said something racist about her friends Black boyfriend.

I did tell her and gave her a Chance to make amends but she doubled down.

Weirdly enough she was fine with Black women including her colleagues and some close friends . It was a thing she had against Black men of all nationalities.

God, you can't have DD repeating that. Kids her age are like parrots. Especially if she is going to nursery. Imagine that conversation. Who did you play with today DD? Sunita and Asha, the darkies from Blue class. You'd want the ground to swallow you!

It was bad enough when my 5 year old dropped a drink and loudly declared 'Fuck my life!' In front of her nan, I've never been judged so much in my life. And it wasn't even me she was copying but her older brother.

You really have to watch what you say, even if you don't think they're listening. Keep pulling her up on it, even if she doesn't stop, at least it might sink in to DD that it's not acceptable to say.

Of course she would know, please don't think I was making excuses for her.
Just saw she's a nurse so would definitely know about equality in the work place and even casting that aside just behave like a normal human being and being respectful of others.

This.
Why? She’s in her 50s? I’m 61 and know that it’s completely unacceptable.

This

She's trying to get a rise out of people

at least that's one word I've not yet been called. Honestly I have only heard it in books from the 1930s.

That’s disgusting, not sure if they can do anything but I’d be reporting her to her employer if she’s ever used this word while wearing her nurse uniform.

And they wonder why POC staff in the NHS complain of racist bullying? There’s no way someone like her treats Black coworkers or patients equally.

Tell her that when your child’s nursery or infant school hear her using that word, that they will HAVE to record it as a racist incident. That’s so unfair on your daughter.

Not only is it horribly racist, what actual reason is there for using a descriptor at all?

In the majority of contexts, it would be 'a woman', 'a group of men', 'a lot of people' etc, if you were commenting that you saw/met/spoke to them for whatever reason.

If you would normally say "I was talking to a woman who passed by" and not (weirdly) "I was talking to a woman wearing a blue jumper who passed by", similarly, why would you even have any need or cause to mention their skin colour - even using a respectful non-racist term?

It doesn't matter. She went through the politically correct 90s and would be aware of legislation against that kind of language in the workplace and society. She knows it's completely inappropriate.

I would explain to her and put a stop to it asap. They’re like sponges at this age they copy and repeat everything.

I'm her age and I've never used this term! Racist and she knows it.

My Mum is 89, she would never dream of using this, is any other racist term .. it’s not been acceptable for 40 years.

Oh sorry!! 😅

Assumed you were a woman. Well same same I guess. What does your Wife say to her Mum?

You need to put a stop to it now, whether it’s stopping your child be around her and letting her know why, trying again to speak to her about it and warning her she has one more chance or asking your wife to issue the warning.

I have had my father in law point out ‘fat people’ (his words not mine) out the car window with my daughter. I have had to have strong words and really don’t like him any way due to a variety of other reasons. I would def go down hard on her as others have suggested.

She cannot legitimately say she doesn't know it's racist, as she has been repeatedly informed that it is racist and still uses it. Agree with ultimatum.

This is bollocks.

You're right it is unacceptable unfortunately it and other words of similar nature were widely used in the 70s.
I'd like to have thought we'd come a long way since then.

I would have stopped her seeing DD before now. Maybe given her one warning but no more.

Well that’s where an ultimatum is useful, isn’t it.