Who is more in the wrong? DS or DD

They need space from each other.

I can’t tell, they are both behaving badly. They really need to fly the next and grow up, but especially the 24 year old.

I am interested in understanding why you are now looking for someone to blame?

Sounds like both of them acted like brats and you and DH step in to calm the situation down. They’ve agreed to disagree and now you’re trying to decide who is “more in the wrong” 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t get why that matters now???

This.

It sounds like clear communication doesn’t run in the family. Your posts are so hard to understand.

its got nothing to do with who was more or less in the wrong. It sounds like they don’t know how to deal with their own emotions.

Why does it matter “who is more in the wrong”? Two adults causing an atmosphere in my home would not be tolerated. They need to grow the fuck up, both of them. Or leave.

What's the "debate"?
"I'm going to block you!" "Well fine because I'm going to go NC with YOU!" is not a debate, it's the kind of argument a couple of 5 yos get into. Did either of them say the other was not their friend and was not invited to their birthday party anymore so there?

This is also very difficult to follow as the genders aren't consistent and you keep switching between whether it's two DDs or a DD and a DS.

So let them block each other and "go NC". They can have fun with that living in the same house. Why do you even need to get involved? You weren't there during the falling out so it's all he-said she-said as far as you're concerned. They're allegedly adults, let them get on with it. Either they'll get over it or they won't and someone will move out, all the better for you!

Sounds extremely childish from the pair of them. Just leave them to it.

Need more info.

I’d be tempted to say “a plague on both their houses and stop acting like spoilt 7 year old brats”

the answer @ML5 it to give back some of ds' contribution so he can afford his car and be less frustrated? thought of that or how can mn help?

Seriously at their age I’d be suggesting they look for separate house shares and get tf out of mine! Sometimes the bunch of sage isn’t big enough for needless toxicity. I have teen DDs and I will not tolerate squabbling or get involved in their arguments. It’s their relationship not mine. If squabbling is protracted at home - they’re sent to their separate spaces, to stop it. If we’re out, I’ll extricate myself. I would recommend this book https://amzn.eu/d/iMFedaZ it won a Mumsnet award. It’s a very easy read and will shine a light on why they are arguing like kids at their age.

No clue from what you have said and not enough to form an opinion. There would need to be context. It doesn’t even sound like you even know what they’re arguing about!

They both sound pathetic, and like they're about 10 years old. Tell them to grow up and that they both need to move out (preferably separately).
Then stop bothering about whether they like/speak to each other - it's not your problem.

Do you seriously think that stropping around being unpleasant is ok for anyone in a home? Whether someone is wirk8ng from home or not, this is not ok.

Christ on a bike. Just ignore the ridiculous fuckers

Why are people even trying to decide who is "at fault" - they are behaving like primary school children.

Who knows, certainly not any of us, because despite it being mentioned over and over, your answers are unclear and vague.

BUT, you OP says they've agreed to disagree, but also to 'move on' from the disagreement.

If they've agreed to move on, why the hell are you and your DP still going on about it and taking sides at all? The best way to help them move on, is for you to also move on.

Also, remind them that they both better be saving for a deposit on a place of their own, as it's natural to want a bit of their own space at those ages. Sounds like their relationship would be better with a bit of space.

.....if DS was slamming around being disruptive and DD told him to shut up as she was working.

Well, it's presumably been DS's home longer than it's been DD's workplace. He might have been stropping around, perhaps, but just because someone is wfh that doesn't mean they get to dictate how everyone else in the home behaves.

Sounds like you have two primary school children not fully grown, working adults. Kick them both out. Time they grew up at 21 and 24.

There’s a lot of focus on the past but actually rather then try to work out who was the worst, focus on asking them how they are going to move forward respectfully and make amends. They will just have to agree to disagree about what’s gone on previously.

If you're going to involve yourself then you need to know the details. All you have is that your DS was in a bad mood about his car and DD was rude. How did the bad mood manifest? How did it impact DD? What exactly did she say that was rude? If DS was going round looking miserable but otherwise minding his own business, and DD decided to tell him he had a face like a slapped arse, thats entirely different from if DS was slamming around being disruptive and DD told him to shut up as she was working. Yet both scenarios fit what you've described.

So DD says she will go NC and DS says he won't speak to her again. But they are living in the same house! Hilarious.

I'll tell you what I think @ML5 , they are both regressing to childhood because they are still living at home instead of being independent adults.

Now I know that it can be more difficult these days for people in their 20s to "launch", but I think you need a serious chat with them both together. Tell them you really don't care or want to know who did what and who said what. You are not taking sides. But either they grow up and start behaving like adults or they both start looking to move out.

Frankly OP you can’t even articulate what the argument was about so you have zero chance of solving it. At the start you said you support ‘DS’ although given your inability to differentiate between ‘ DS’ and ‘DD’ there isn’t 1 poster on this thread who can understand who you support.

FGS just get them together and have a family discussion, no-one here can gelp as they can’t understand what’s going on.

Six of one and half a dozen of the other life is too short leave them to it