'Tomboys' in 2025

DD’s primary school had lunchtime ballet classes for reception and year 1. One of the boys was a fantastic natural dancer, and desperately wanted to join in. His parents wouldn’t let him as it was “for girls”

sad thing was I think once one boy joined there were a few others that would have signed up too. As it was it remained very much a “girly” thing while the boys played football in the playground.

i took dd to see Carlos Acosta after that specifically to show her that boys could dance as well as girls. (Also women’s cricket etc).

I still believe all this “natural affinity” for stereotypical activities is societal and parent led. Even when parents swear they don’t, it’s completely endemic.

I dread to think what I would have been labeled as these days as a child.

I hated dresses, loved the A team and I played with toy cars. Perfectly normal behaviour for a little girl.

My 11 year old dd has always been the same way. A year or so ago, someone asked me if she was “non binary” or trans and I lost my shit.

She doesn’t like dresses and likes riding skateboards. That doesn’t make her any less female. Dd already hates all that nonsense, thank god, she’s already been subjected to the bullshit at school and has spoken up against it.

One of my boys wanted to do dance, we were lucky that a village dance group let him join, it was 'disco' / modern rather than ballet, he wore loose jeans, t shirt and overshirt ( 1990s) He is married and still likes some more 'feminine' things, his wife jokes about him being more girly than her.

yeah it becoming a scary parenting trend this my child is x old and identifies as nonsense I dread to think of what these poor kids face in the future

Tomboy here too, but never had any attraction to women. Being a tomboy and non-binary may be related in some people but it isn't in any way something that people should assume or expect.

I hated wearing dresses, was more likely to be climbing trees than playing with dolls, and I'm sure my poor mum felt cheated of the daughter she wanted, which was a traditional girly girl.

@ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat on Amazon..

The thing is that I don't/ didn't 'identify' as anything, I am a woman, 'tomboy' was the description used for me as a child. My hero(ine) was George from Famous Five. The tomboy stuff came from wanting to do the same things as the boys and not to be prevented 'because you are a girl' which was still very strong as a child of the 70s. Girls in the main now can do most of the things I wasn't allowed to do, cubs, scouts, football, rugby, cricket. Trousers for girls at school wasn't allowed, we fought for that to be changed.

People are so easily pushed into labels these days, its a shame that they can't just be who they are without having to label it.

I desperately wanted to be a boy when I was a child, refused anything feminine coded and loved it when people mistook me for a boy. George from the Famous Five was my idol. Puberty reconciled me with being female, eventually, but still am not very feminine at all but very much am a woman, and glad to be one. Feel very grateful I grew up when I did, and not today.

I've said the same, I liked things that were typically considered to be more male interests; football, cars, F1 etc... I wonder how they would label me nowadays.

Agree with all of this except for the 'we are all non binary'. I am a hyperfeminine woman and have no 'tomboyish' interests whatsoever. I am interested by science, but there is nothing inherently masculine about that.

Completely agree that ironically we’re now reinforcing gender stereotypes when we’d come so far. If things were the way they are now back in the 90s, a teacher would have definitely convinced me I was a boy!

I detested everything girly growing up, but now I only wear pastels and skirts (except at work where I have to wear all black 😩) and love pink etc. I realised things weren’t as good as I thought they were back then either- I 100% didn’t allow myself to enjoy anything girly as I saw being girly as being weak and pathetic. I thought boys wouldn’t want to play with me and I’d be dismissed as a ‘silly girly’ and not be taken seriously or respected. I’m pretty sure this was all subconsciously there. The whole Girl Power movement to me was like being one of the boys as a girl and being able to participate in and enjoy the stuff boys could.

Would be interested to hear other people’s opinions?

I only finally embraced my girly side about 3 years ago as I kept looking at a friend and wishing I could dress like her and I realised I was still making decisions to buy more unisex coloured things.

I finally bought a highly coveted pink Nintendo DS lite a couple of months ago and I love it 🩷 when I bought the 3DS when it was out I made sure it was the blue one- not too girly. The DS lite I originally had was black. I just think it’s interesting.

@cobrakaieaglefang i demand to know where I can buy a Cobra Kai T-shirt! (Please thank you)

Describing is not the same as defining

You don’t believe in stereotypes, yet define yourself as a tomboy?

how does that work? You’re basically saying stereotypes exist and you align more with male stereotypes.

you can’t be a tomboy if you don’t believe in stereotypes. You’re just a woman with a set of likes and dislikes.

I was and am a tomboy, I'm nearing 60! I don't subscribe to stereotypes. I'm also a female, I'm a mother, a grandmother. I'm currently wearing skinny jeans and a cobra kai T shirt and trainers while drinking a beer. My hair is short and grey.

What I find especially annoying is the smug way in which this generation behaves like they’re the first to push back gender stereotypes. Women have been doing it for centuries at the expense of their safety, social standing, family, wealth and often their children. The reason girls today can sit in classrooms, get jobs and have custody of their children and their own money is down to the heroines who fought before us. And young women have the nerve to reject their sex, thinking it’s progressive. It actually makes me angry.

i hate the tomboy label.

it’s still buying into gender stereotypes, suggesting you aren’t doing girl properly. A female who likes “boy” activities is a subset of boys/girls.

i’m a girl/woman. It shouldn’t matter whether I like make up, or short hair, trousers or skirts. I’m not a “tomboy” because I like comfy joggers, no make up, and stem subjects. Still female.

Stop labelling girls who don’t fit the stereotype as “other”. Make it normal to just have likes and dislikes, without linking them to gender.

But how can you reject what is immutable?

Being a girl is being a female child. Nothing more nothing less.

It’s like rejecting the concept of having arms

A girl that acts like a boy was always a tomboy.

The opposite of that was effete / effeminate.

If you were neither, then it would fall under androgynous.

There were no politics to it back then in the 90s. It gets on my tits that it's identity politics nowadays. There's no need for it. Keep with the old non-political terms.

On a side note: "gender neutral toilets". Nope. They were already known as unisex toilets.

I come from a long line of tomboys. My nana was one, my mum was one, and so was I and now my daughter is too.

Today’s obsession with labels is unhealthy. I feel sad for teenagers today, growing up in a world where they’re told normal personality differences mean they must question their sex. Far from empowering kids it undermines their ability to grow, accept themselves and face life as it is. It’s not just misguided, it’s harmful.

This ideology is being pushed by activists and well meaning but uncritical people who think ‘kindness’ means plastering pronouns everywhere and going along with whatever new label comes next.

Same here!

I was born in the 1960s so am in my 60s now. As a child I was always referred to as a tomboy as I only reluctantly wore dresses, preferred my hair short, liked to climb trees and shunned dolls in favour of what my mum called "boys toys". If anyone had asked me, up to the age of 10 or 11, I would have said I wanted to be a boy.

At secondary school in the 1970s I resented that I had to do three years of cooking and needlework while the boys did woodwork and metalwork. However, by that age I had also decided I didn't really want to be a boy I just resented the limitations and expectations put on being a girl.

I ended up following a career path that was fairly male dominated at the time but as I matured I also embraced my female side.

As an adult I have always been very opposed to gender stereotypes and find it alarming that these days they can be just as rigid and almost dangerous. I have, and have always had, interests and tastes that lie on either side of the traditional stereotypes. Hell, these days I even own a sewing machine and make some of my own clothes!

I was very much a 'tomboy' growing up in the '80s...well, as much as my very old fashioned mother would allow me to be.
Mother wanted 'young ladies' as daughters, but I wanted short hair, rough and tumble play, football and just to play with boys (none of which she allowed, so I was a pretty unhappy, frustrated child).
Hated my developing body and, as an adult would still prefer not to have wide hips, large breasts and a big butt.
However, I have and always shall be a female and happily(ish) so. There are times I've really enjoyed wearing skirts, dresses and grown my hair longer.
I definitely wouldn't feel that any phase in my life has been indicative of a NB experience.
That is not to say I dismiss the validity of anyone identifying as non-binary - à chaçun son destin - but it's definitely not me.
It'll be interesting to see how my 7.5 year old twins develop as they get older, as both are also what we would have called 'tomboys' in the '80s.