To not want to live to an old age

I would be happy to die at 80 I think. That is enough life for anyone. What more is there to see or experience after 80 years?

@DamnUserName21 medication use statistics

I fear old age a lot because I will have no family (only child, no children of my own). I fear having to go to hospital appointments etc on my own. I do also wonder what I will have to look forward to in my 70s / 80s / 90s with no grandchildren etc to looks forward to.

I am trying to lean into one of my enjoyable hobbies more and get fully involved in it, and I have also been looking at nice places to live (retirement villages etc).

I am only in my late 30s, and I think some people think I am a bit mad for doing this, but I feel it is so important to plan ahead. I want to be as happy as I can be in old age, because being unhappy is really painful!

What statistics?

However, I did say it was anecdotal...

Well you could live much longer and if you keep your body and brain active, are fortunate not to get anything like cancer or dementia, then why wouldn’t you? It’s not a given you will be unwell and miserable! My uncle is 97, still lives on his own and tends his garden. Most of my mothers family lived to around 90, all surviving (and well) serious illnesses but none of them wanted to die when their time came.
Do what you can now to get fit and develop core strength.

I've noticed those in their late 80s/90s/100s on fewer medications than those in their 70s and early-mid 80s.

Statistically that isn't true though

It's a real possibility with increased chronic illness related to lifestyle factors such as obesity.

Anecdotally and generally speaking, I've worked in elderly care for the past 10 years, I've noticed those in their late 80s/90s/100s on fewer medications than those in their 70s and early-mid 80s.

Longevity will certainly be impacted by lifestyle factors.

You may wish to consider an Advance Directive.

https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/end-of-life-care/planning-ahead/advance-decision-to-refuse-treatment

The time to decide how you feel about getting old is when you’re approaching it very fast. It’s one thing at forty to say you don’t want to be eighty. Ask yourself the same question at seventy. I don’t want to be old but as the saying goes it’s better than the alternative.

I feel similar- absolutely terrified of old age but I’ve accepted the reality of it because I decided to have a child. It would be selfish of me not to embrace my life to the (possibly bitter!) end. Maybe I could be selfish if I was child-free but I’m not. I feel that people who choose to have children have a duty to be in the best health they can for as long as possible. Maybe that’s a sacrifice you make when you choose to have kids. It’s never just about you ever again

The reason I think he's been able to live to a fairly healthy old age, is keeping physically active, so with that in mind, I try to walk everywhere.

Not having to work post 59 was probably a big part. Lots underestimate the lack of stress on longevity, I assume he financially ok

Won't be giving anything to put you out of your misery either though

Absolutely, probably just be left without food and water

Won't be giving anything to put you out of your misery either though which is why I'm saving up for Dignitas now (45 y old).

My dad had bowel cancer at 39, in 1970. There was no chemo then. He's 92 now, lives on his own, and has a busy social life. He was made redundant at 59, never worked again, and has had over 30 years of retirement, doing pretty much what he wanted.

I hope I've inherited his genes ( apart from the early onset bowel cancer one, obviously, but that's what the 3 yearly routine colonoscopies are for).

The reason I think he's been able to live to a fairly healthy old age, is keeping physically active, so with that in mind, I try to walk everywhere.

The rest is down to luck I think.

I’m with you op. Nursed my df, and watched him die horribly in hospital. Can’t really talk to anyone about it because it’s just too upsetting, and people don’t need to hear the details. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for not being able to protect him better.

I’m not convinced euthanasia is the answer either, having put a pet down. The vet said she’d never seen an animal react like that, but a quick google suggests that lots do, and that all the vets said something similar.

Had a short hospital stay myself, that was really hard going as an autistic person and it has prompted me to put some careful thought in to my future. Happy to hang in there as long as I’m healthy, fit and independent. But I’m not anticipating a protracted old age.

You can do a “living will” or “advance decision to refuse treatment” which is exactly what you describe.

They used to be happier. They no longer are. They are miserable, partly as a result of age and infirmity.

I have a very happy life, thank.you. But that is entirely the point - I want to die whilst I'm still active, with all my marbles and enjoying myself. Why wait until I'm on a downward slope?

So Fing miserable. What is wrong with some of you.
I'm convinced that British people have some kind of shame about being happy. They actively look for reasons to be unhappy, angry, sad, because it would be shameful to find / have happiness when there is so much wrong with the world. Seems like that is the mindset.

Just get over it. Your pessimism and misery won't fix anything that is bad in the world.
Every day has opportunities. Any day you can do most or even all the things you want to do, even though some are challenging to achieve, is a good day. Most of us can do something every day to brighten someone else's day and give ourselves purpose and be appreciated.

Friend (age 57) has NF2, symptomatic since age 29, which means every day is a total challenge. Legally blind, stone deaf, poor mobility, can't speak clearly or even smile, bad dexterity, constant medical things. She's a survivor after a deprived childhood & youth. No way is the NF2 taking her down a day earlier than it has to. She's always looking for creative outlets and keeping her relationships going as best she can. Pfffft.

This thread is good for me. The negativity has reminded me how much I don't want to ever give into self-pity.

My mum is 75 and has various health issues, she's actually lived longer than anyone might have expected given she has a chronic condition that can be life limiting.

She had a minor stroke last year which meant increased risk of a more severe one in the 48 hours afterwards and her attitude at the time was that she totally prepared for the end if it came, because she is in pain every day anyhow. And she is very stoic so to be admitting she is in pain means it must be pretty dreadful.

I love her dearly but the fact is I know she is ready to go when it comes now, and there's a sort of comfort in that. I suppose she has always known she wasn't going to live to see grandkids get married or to be a great grandmother.

I'm 80, a widow, living by myself in a remote rural environment. I have Myalgic Encephalitis, which is tiresome but I work round it, so that I have the required energy to do the things that I enjoy. I read a lot, go and see my beautiful retired Arabian horse at his excellent livery yard, and have interesting conversations with my cat.
When I was working in a professional role, I enjoyed that, but it was, on occasions, very dangerous. The pension that I receive keeps the horse.

My father died when he was 52. My mother at 84. I hope that I can get up to that age or older, as well.

My dad is 87 and whilst in good health he keeps saying he doesn't want to live another five years. He's lonely and lost my mum many years ago. All he sees ahead of him is decline.
I work visiting a lot of older people and it is depressing although my view is possibly skewed as I am visiting them to do disability benefit forms so they do mostly have some problems. Most have nothing to look forward and are miserable and struggling. I've visited a lot in their mid nineties and many have lost adult kids or kids are abroad and they have little contact with their kids. many have no family at all. They've lost faith in GP's and had horrible experiences in hospital.

But ‘sooner rathe4 than later’ at 60? I don’t understand that. Or your belief that after 70 is ‘on and on and on’. You must be fairly dissatisfied with your life now? I’m 60 as I said and hoping for another 20 good years at least!