To not want to live to an old age

My grandma was still very active in her 90s. I have lost most of the quality of life I had (long covid), but live for the days I’m able to do something. I’m working towards acceptance, but have disassociated a bit because it’s hard to face just how limited life is now. It’s like aging forty years. I still mostly want to live, not least for my children who are still very young. As my ability has worsened over time, I want to appreciate the “now” when I can. Every infection brought home from school since destroys a bit more of my quality of life to varying degrees, so the “now” is important. If someone had shown me several years ago what I can do now, I’d have wanted to jump off a cliff, but you find reasons to live.

Buy a fast and powerful motorbike at about 57 or 58. Then you'll likely not live to a ripe old age, and you'll have the most fun you can have (with your clothes on.)

I’m 60. I take 3. Thyroxine, progesterone and oestrogen. None suggest a failing body just yet. Not all medications do.

70 seems a very early last possible date to be enjoying yourself. I can’t imagine being ready to die then. I’m just wondering why you do.

You just come across as very unhappy about parenting, work, weight and life generally.

I was just saying… maybe avoid the elderly parents forum 🤷‍♀️

Do you have a source for that or is it just a random anxiety-induced assumption? Because I’m pretty sure your premise is false. By all objective measures the air in the UK is significantly cleaner now than it was 100 years ago (though still far from clean). Our generation did not invent dual working parent families and we certainly didn’t invent stress.

Obviously nobody relishes the idea of living for years with illness and pain and poor quality of life. But everyone’s circumstances are different and none of us know what the future holds. For now it sounds like you are drawing conclusions based on your emotional state rather than objective reality.

I remember overhearing a conversation about this once. The response was a cheery, "Well, there's always Dignitas!"

If we can euthanise animals when their lives become unbearably difficult due to old age, cognitive decline or other serious health conditions, and it's seen as a kindness, I've never understood why we can't do it with consenting humans (e.g. a sort of pre-death will in which consent for euthanasia is given in certain circumstances). I wouldn't want to be sat suffering in God's waiting room for years on end and putting pressure on my family to care for me (I've been in that situation and it isn't pleasant, even if you do love the family member in question).

Dont stress about old age, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

I couldn't agree more! You will feel differently at 60!

If I have capacity, I’ll be taking myself off to Dignitas when I’ve had enough.

I thought you can get an advanced directive to refuse antibitoics?

You can, @2sidesofcoins; I've got one myself: https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/end-of-life-care/planning-ahead/advance-decision-to-refuse-treatment/

Rightly or wrongly though it's the sort of thing some mean to do but somehow never quite get round to, so come the day you get the all too common arguments about "Is this the right thing for them?" / "No, you're just trying to kill them off"

My mum is 88.

In the last 8 years she has seen 2 grandchildren marry, been to graduation ceremonies of 6 others, has a close and loving relationship with her 12 year old greargrandchild who she sees twice a week( who now will always have wonderful memories of her). She has had 8 more fabulous Christmases with all her children, grandchildren and greatgrandchild, had holidays and trips with children and grandchildren, visited places and countries she's never been to before.

She would have missed out on all that had she died at 80 and her family's lives would have been the worse for it.

I like that expression and attitude, "we're here for a good time , not a long time. "
Great username too. ;)

I agree there is a lot about the global long term impacts we still dont know.

I’m with you mid 40s too had a number of elderly relatives live with dementia in what were slow and depressing ends. Tbh they wouldn’t of wanted it I don’t either You can register with your GP that you only want pain relief/ palliative care only in the event of loss of capacity.

I am overweight (not obese) and utterly knackered tbh. My pension is not great. I suspect the state pension will be means tested so I will be old and skint. I work two jobs plus kids so get zero time. My hips hurt, my knee hurts. I was fitter but have been suffering with gall stones and exercise can set it off.

Life is a slog all the jolly retirees I know who are fit and healthy are loaded. Sadly that is not me so I look forward to shuffling off this mortal coil sooner rather than later.

I'm citing my own lived experience, not referring to another source.

What did you mean by & generally speaking?

@DamnUserName21 I quoted from Age Concern. It's doesn't take a genius to work out that older people are on more meds...

Lol. When I was 18, I thought: damn , I'm now 18 and the adult shit starts....

Being 65 now isn't too bad. Have my grandkids, possible retirement in the UK , still musing it.

I have choice here, apparently
If my girls were married with men from our country, they would just put me on a bed downstairs in the farm house and feed me , wash me but I would be alone all day, because they would be working.

Here at least some care homes offer entertainment though my girls are swearing they'll keep me home, even here

I'm citing my own lived experience, not referring to another source. You were talking statistics without sourcing it, which you still haven't.

It's always been the norm for both parents to work in the UK.

full time? Has it?

Had my child late, so I’m hoping to last a bit longer…
Won’t be retiring though. We’ll keep working. hopefully!

OP - you don't get the point I was making. It's always been the norm for both parents to work in the UK.

I'm convinced that British people have some kind of shame about being happy

Not me @lljkk - I positively seek it out 😊

@DamnUserName21 any more pointless than anecdotes?

"In England overall more than one in 10 people aged over 65 takes at least eight different prescribed medications weekly, and this increases to one in four among people who are aged over 85[ii]."

@hangerup

Bit pointless mentioning statistics without evidence.