To not want to live to an old age

Usually yes

but surely very relevant that the OP depressed about the future is also depressed about the present…. And that is no doubt feeding in to fear or the future

I really dislike it when posters do this, use OPs other threads in reference to a different one and almost use it against them.

The OP has a right to start whatever threads she wishes.

It's not for you to dredge up other issues relating to her employment. Bad form.

Yes there are lots of links with genes etc.

Does that preclude lifestyle factors also having an impact?

I hope you realise… no

Come again?

You disagree that features such as high weight, smoking , excessive drinking, very little movement - have an impact on cancer likelihood?

I asked at the top of the thread… do you read / listen / engage at all with the news?

Absolutely

but you don’t want to get that stage AND you aren’t enjoying the current stage you’re in.

So it would make sense to just accept what you don’t want, and try to channel your energy and thoughts into what you do want, which is surely a happier and healthier life NOW

If you are mid 40s and already feeling bleak about the future then you might already be perimenopausal.

I am 50, now on HRT. Have spent 18 months really getting my fitness and strength back. I am saving hard into my pension. Expecting another few years of my kids being at home but I am looking forward to the future and hope to live to a ripe old age, staying as active as I can. Husband and I expect to spend much of the winter abroad when we get older so that we can walk and swim year round. We are planning for this now. Sorry that don’t feel the same. I saw a brilliant thing about an active 94 year old woman this week living well in France. Really inspiring.

Well actually a healthy lifestyle is very much linked with avoiding cancer

Why not focussing on improving your current existence op?

lose weight
yoga for the stiff joints
find another job
try to enjoy parenting more and if you find it isolating… invite someone out for coffee this week.

Can it happen overnight? No
But you can try, and part of the enjoyment may well come from the very journey of getting there

YABVU. I am 42 and in better shape than I was in my twenties.

It would be a nightmare for the world if the aging process was able to be reversed. People are already living much too long.

By the time you are old, we may be able to slow and even reverse the ageing process. This is no joke. Billions are being invested in this research, and it’s moving fast.

What a revolting response to someone showing you how happy and pleasant an 80 year old's life can be, even on a limited income.

You reap what you sow. People with bad attitudes to ageing, like yours OP, rarely age well.

But that is kind of the point it isn’t. My Nan lived until she was 98 and the last 3/4 years her quality of life was minimal she couldn’t see or hear so all the hobbies she did previously that did make her happy (crossstitch/crosswords/reading) couldn’t be done anymore she couldn’t even watch or listen to things anymore. Life was dark and silent but she was fully aware and physically ok. She had enough but just had to exist until a heart attack took her out.

My Grandads went much better one went at 87 within a month of catching a cold still physically fit and doing what he wanted. The other cycled to town on the day of his death read his newspaper and watched some sport before having a massive heart attack and dying within an hour of feeling ill at the age of 85.

they never declined lived a good old age but didn’t experience the slow descent. My other Nan did for a year or so before dying at 89

For me mid 80s is probably the aim another 40 years and leave when I still can

You also have all mod cons now, washing machines, dishwashers, fridges and freezers, ready prepared food, shopping deliveries, food deliveries, etc, etc.

My parents both worked, no fridge so perishables had to be bought frequently, no car so everything was by bus, walk to the bus stop, wait for buses, carrying heavy shopping, we eventually got a twin tub washing machine that had to be dragged out of the cupboard to the sink to use and washing had to be hauled out of the washer to the spinner, no central heating, so in the winter you had to light a coal fire everyday and carry coal to feed it. Every household job was a slog. Parents of today have it comparatively easy!

And of course my brother and I were first generation to get a 'good' education and go to university, so we didn't leave home and get a job at 15, we got into grammar school via 11+, did A levels and then uni.

My parents are 96 and 95 and healthy, living alone at home (with some help coming in) and are completely compos mentis.
They love life - seeing all their kids and grandkids.
They had kids late (late-30s to mid-40s) which I think has helped keep them young-at-heart.
They eat healthily, stopped smoking 60 years ago due to health risks, drink very moderately and try to exercise.
I just hope I’ve the same healthy old-age as them.

Having worked across the elderly hospital care wards I couldn’t agree more. I don’t want that for myself nor any loved one. Ever.
My granny is tired. She wants to go herself in her 90s she says it openly. I am however doing everything I can to stay healthy and there’s much more known about what women our age can do to mitigate the risks later in life

I know. I just look at them generally though to see what kind of support structures are in place to potentially solve some of the problems I might face if I am entirely in my own. And also times like Christmas - I like to look at what they offer, as it's a nicer thought than that of being an old person at home on my own.

@SociableAtWork My Father refused treatment for his cancer when he developed it at 84. I remember the hospice nurse saying she wished more people were like my Father.

MIL has cancer now, she is 83 and is having treatment. People talk about it being upsetting and tiring. MIL is not my Mother but the inconvenience of it all is laid on me because she takes up so much of DH time lately.

Maybe I’m just too much like my Father, he was a very practical type. My Mother lived till she was 94, she should have died when she was around 88. There was no point at all in her being alive as she was so disabled, in pain and a massive burden, her care requirements ended up causing huge issues between my sisters. it was cruel keeping her alive and the costs were enormous.