Bitchy comments about university choices

Gotten is in the dictionary, past participle of get.

"Gotten"

100%. I am very select with who I tell what to. Never even told my in laws what DD’s A level results were as didn’t want her to be compared to cousins….i have no idea if Dd did better or worse than her cousins and to be honest I don’t care and have no need to know. But I suspect some people in the wider family would love to know, there are often hints dropped! 😁

This is fantastic, he would be welcome where I work! Attitude is everything, All the best to him (and you!)

This is good to hear. I've always encouraged my son to try & be a good person & have a part time job, activities, work experience opportunities & other interests as well as an education & I'm pretty sure that is what has secured him an apprenticeship.

I can honestly tell you that in my busy day this wouldn’t even hit anything on my radar. Not worth mentioning, talking about, writing about or speaking about. Get over it.

I don’t know anyone where I work or have worked (big global tech firms) who would give 2 hoots about which Uni you went too. Half of them didn’t go. Just need to be a decent person!

@Freegrasstotally. I didn’t even know what an RG was (I didn’t go to uni in this country) and couldn’t understand it when people said ‘it’s an RG uni’. And @BeyondMyWitsBath ranks higher than many RGs (as does St A etc). I wanted my DD to choose Bath (mainly as I love the city and it’s closer) but she’s gone to Durham. I don’t think she cared at all if RG or not, she just wanted one of the best unis for her degree choice.

I find the whole publicly sharing our children's results a bit ridiculous, my son's results are his & he can share them if he wishes but we as parents just tell people 'he did well' (he got great GCSE'S) or 'he didn't do as well as he could' (his A level results weren't great- he himself admitted he didn't put the work in). The Russell Group university thing is just snobbery to me. My son has a an apprenticeship lined up & we're really proud & excited for him but honestly I feel young people nowadays are under so much pressure & the bitchy parents do not help!

I can understand, but not condone, people making snide digs out of insecurity, when they feel they’ve lost out in some way, but not the other way round.

Kicking someone when they’re down is inexcusable.

Thus displaying her own ignorance. I used to work with a lot of doctors and as far as I could make out nobody cared which university they'd attended. The courses were all designed to meet the requirements of the General Medical Council and all inspected periodically. In the UK a medical degree is a medical degree, whether it's from an ex-poly or Oxford. It might make a slight difference if a student wants to pursue an academic career alongside clinical work because of increased chances to get involved in research as an undergrad, but that's a minority.

The obsession with Russell Group is bizarre, and I say that as a Russell Group graduate. It really is bollocks.

Jesus Christ.

A friend (whose son dropped out of his science course RG University because he couldn't cope) responded to my telling her how proud I was that my niece - who worked so hard for it and refused to give up trying - had got a place at medical school (but not an RG) with "Oh, but it's only NotRG university..."

MEDICAL school, though!

They didn’t kick a kid. The kid wasn’t there and will never know. Hence why it’s meaningless, and silly to care.

IME, that's what happens anyway, if not on 1st September, then once the young people start at uni/college/sixth-form/apprenticeships. Their attention turns from how brilliantly they did in their exams (or not) to the new stuff they now have to grapple with and especially if they aren't staying on at the same school, the unfamiliar environment.

I passed all my A Levels - not very well, but enough to take up my insurance place on a degree course that included foreign policy studies. On the first day, the head of year told a whole lecture theatre of us "OK you lot. None of you know a thing about foreign policy. Read this, this and this. Off you go!" He was right. It wasn't long before everyone, including those whose parents had been to uni, dumped the chip on their shoulder about not getting into their first or second choice that they'd arrived with and made the most of where they were, which was far better than what most young people our age had to look forward to.

I fell out with a friend because I sent DC to the local secondary school instead of all fancy single sex school.
Her DC did an apprenticeships as a hairdresser.

The child protege from DC primary school works in the local equivalent of quick fit.
My DC went to uni and is working in the NHS as a SLT.

All 3 are important valued jobs. And all 3 are working and found their feet for now. But deep inside, I am having a good old laugh about the pretentious bitchy parents!
My advice sit back and watch the drama unfold and be proud of your DC.

How did the other GM hear about the results? It must have been some Chinese whispers from your family. I would be telling my mother not to talk about your kids to her. Otherwise ignore. She's trying to make herself look big by making others small.

I love this!!

When I got my O Level results (many moons ago) my DM’s friend’s daughter (year younger than me) sent me card congratulating me. Written inside was a note saying my results would have been good for her, implying not good for me though.

Lol... didn't leave because of the comment, (by the boss, she would be apoplectic if described as a colleague ) I left because the comment confirmed her character and the culture of the workplace.

( I had already "sensed" the fact that I was uneducated and fat meant that my face didn't fit.)

It was just a stand out comment of that time (4 years ago) that showed the bitchiness that exists around uni places.

Honestly, when it comes to this stuff, I think parents can be very proud of their dcs and it can be taken the wrong way.

My dbrother 's eldest dd got 12 astars at gcse and 5 astars at A'level. He announced the results to the family facebook group. He was proud. I don't blame him, it was a fabulous set of results and I'd have been dancing on the roof if it were me. He didn't go on about it, just on results day, just one post.

However dsis still got offended that he was bragging etc. Her ds was not keen on school and chose a different path to a career but dsis couldn't just be pleased for her niece.

My own dc came somewhere between the two and I'm still bursting with pride.
I think in results season there should be a general amnesty so proud families are allowed to announce their results and how delighted they are, and then the topic ends on Sept 1 and we all go back to normal.

It would save a lot of angst..

Honestly, if someone left a workplace because of a mildly catty comment about their child's university from a colleague, I would assume that person was secretly ashamed of their child's destination. Otherwise it's the kind of comment you'd just say 'Thanks for your valuable opinion, Bill' to, and not think of it again.