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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not go to this low key children's party?

133 replies

Dontjumptoconclusions · 23/08/2025 09:20

Very happy to be told IABU.

Mum friend who I have known for 3 or so years and met at soft play. Met up maybe 7-8 times with and without kids over those years. Our kids are young so they don't really remember each other in between play dates.

Anyway, her DC is turning 3 and is having the same party as last year which we are invited to,so I know what to expect.

It's in a huge woodland trust park, so £5 entry per car to get in, 45 mins drive from us. Last year she had a few park style games (parachute, bean bags, kids tennis etc) and a few costco sandwiches, squash and cake. No party bag except a cake wrapped in tissue.

It was very boring for us, especially having to run around after our 2 kids when I deliberately avoid if there's not much happening. no additional entertainment and there were only 2 other kids there in addition to my 2 and her 2. I just expected a bit more to be considered a party.

AIBU to say no to this year's invite where she is having the same thing, plus most likely expecting a gift.

No she's not struggling for money, her eldest goes to private primary school.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 23/08/2025 09:32

I think it sounds nice causal party. Often better for young kids than a huge overwhelming hall. We’ve been to a few like this at that age and it worked well.

toomuchfaff · 23/08/2025 09:29

WingingIt101 · 23/08/2025 09:23

Yanbu to decline any invite but yabu to be so judgy and rude about the party they throw - maybe that’s what her kid wants to do?

Agree.

Decline and do her a favour.

TheWellSungGame · 23/08/2025 09:28

The drive might put me off since your children aren't actually close, the entrance fee would if my budget was that tight.

But it sounds like a lot more fun for kids than a hyper-structured series of activities and adult demands. Free play is healthy for children, and three- year-olds' parties don't have to entertain grown adults who should be able to manage their own boredom.

doodleschnoodle · 23/08/2025 09:27

It’s fine not to go for whatever reason you want. Personally I enjoy those kind of parties but my two are unlikely to get bored in a big space to run around, especially with some games and food. That would be heaven to them at that age! It’s a birthday celebration for a preschool child, it doesn’t have to cost £500 and have entertainers. We just did garden parties for that kind of age and had no entertainment, just playing in garden with toys and food. And I wouldn’t be doing party bags for a 2yo! So the party seems fine to me, but you don’t want to go so that’s all that needs to be said.

CrispieCake · 23/08/2025 09:26

YANBU to say no if you think that your kids won't enjoy it. Mine probably would if there were trees to climb, potentially a playground and cake. I always view the gift as for the child, not recompense for the parent organising the party, so don't link value of gift to the cost of the party.

In short, it's an invitation. If you don't really want to go and prefer to spend your time doing other things with your kids, then say no.

WifeOfAGemini · 23/08/2025 09:26

yanbu, Id never invite someone to a party 45 minutes away, that’s barmy.

I did drive 40 mins to a party once but only because I didn’t check the distance first! it was a good friend and the party was a 4 hour visit to a farm, meeting all the animals, with a lovely lunch afterwards.

A polite “sorry we can’t make it, but would love to celebrate … are you free for a tea party at our house another weekend?”

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/08/2025 09:24

Are you always so snotty?

WingingIt101 · 23/08/2025 09:23

Yanbu to decline any invite but yabu to be so judgy and rude about the party they throw - maybe that’s what her kid wants to do?

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