To not go to this low key children's party?

Of course you don't have to go, if you think that your kids won't have fun or if you don't want to go. However, your expectations of a party are a bit wild, maybe its a culture thing but I'd say party games, sandwiches and cake are absolutely fine for a party, maybe her child loves that and asked for it, I think declining because you don't think she's making enough effort is very harsh and judgey.... do what you want to do though!

Snobbery at its finest!!
Cake wrapped in tissue?? 🙄🙄

Some of the best kids' parties I have seen are just them running about in a village hall with a few simple toys like balls or bats and balls sitting out.

What a lovely party idea! Traditional and kid focused

Shame @Dontjumptoconclusions that you’re too shallow to want to parent your kids in an environment devoid of “entertainment”

you don’t get these years back. Simple is so much better than the overblown nonsense of today’s trends for more and more consumption

the kids are 3. They won’t remember anything about this stuff. But they’ll have a great afternoon

is she not paying for entry? I’ve never heard of a bday party where a guest pays to attend so no, I wouldn’t go. If she’s well off yhsts taking the piss even more. She could do all those games in the local park.
we did a few low key parties when dc were young - a few just at home w trad party games, pottery painting (a friend facilitated it), party jn local park.

You’re being invited to the “other friends” party. I’d bet money that there’s a “proper party” for the school friends!

I’ve been to one of these a long time ago but the kids were older, knew each other and made their own entertainment while the parents chatted - fine. But toddlers that don’t know each other sounds like the parents are supposed to be entertainers.

You’re NBU for not wanting to go but maybe keep your private thoughts to yourself to avoid sounding judgemental.

I think it’s the kind of thing my kids would have loved. You could always chuck a couple of other toys/games in the car and ask the other mum if she’d like you to get them out. Great to be running around in the fresh air this time of year too. But if you don’t fancy it just politely decline.

How can a kid be bored running around outside? Don’t go if you don’t want to but I agree with others - you sound quite judgemental. Thank god I’m past this stage of parenting!

Could it be a chain letter or code like @VaseofViolets said best not to make a big deal about it.

Find some way of opening up communication so he is not worried to talk to you about things. Speak to the parents of his friends find out if they have seen a thing and his teachers?
i don’t think you should just leave it but I think you might have to check your reaction towards him.
xxx

YATA. As I was reading I initially thought it sounded pretty reasonable, until you said it was "boring for us". The party isnt for you. As the Mum of a 5 year old if I didnt go to a party because it was "boring for me" my kiddo wouldnt ever go to a party. A 45 minute drive is nothing.

You sound quite insufferable. Also I couldn’t be bothered to RTFT but sounds like there was a park there but you didn’t let your kids go to it? That’s on you. You could say “they love the park, why don’t we pop down at 2pm”.

It sounds quite lazy for a party, but they're only three so fine if that's what they like. But it's a drive away, your kids aren't close and you didn't enjoy it last time so I would just decline. Unless you really like this woman, this friendship will probably fade anyway once they're at school.

My little one would LOVE this kind of outdoorsy party, especially if sandwiches/a picnic were involved. I would quite like it too, and we regularly drive 45 mins for a day out so that wouldn't bother me. That being said, if it's not your vibe it's not at all rude to decline and say that you can't make it x

Soynds like my ideal kids parof - I'd be thrilled if mine were invited to a day like this! Not sure why youre complaining that she brought around 4 toy items to play with - kids shouldn't really need plastic toys to have fun in nature.

I would go, she may have more guests coming this time.

Don’t go. But also don’t expect to make a lot of friends- parties aren’t about what you find fun - you don’t have to buy an expensive present. Sometimes showing up for a
child is the most important thing. I feel for you if your child needs constant entertainment of a higher form. Games and cake is lovely.

I have to plan parties within walking distance of the attendees or people don't come. No way would anyone travel 45 minutes. I wouldn't expect guests to pay to attend but otherwise this party sounds ok.

Except most party bags aren't some amazing toy wrapped up nicely. It's a plastic bag with some bulk bought plastic tat in them.

Kids go to so many parties. They won't remember all of them (or any of them). Going the extra mile and spending a bit more doesn't even guarantee that. Kids are just a likely to remember Jason's party where they all played football in the park and Mark scored the best goal ever as remember Jonty's party where Mummy had paid for the cast of Harry Potter to play Quidditch with them on personalised brooms

Spending extra and going the extra mile is really more about scoring points against other mums

The massive irony in this thread are the nasty, judgmental women hating on party bags like they're the most disgusting, climate destroying, cheap and classless gesture on earth. Imagine that a mum went out of her way to buy gifts and sweets for all the friends of her children and going into the trouble of packaging them up nicely. Only for those mum "friends" to brand a free bag of toys as horrible cheap tat that they want to throw out the window on the way home. I would hate to invite those sort of women to a party.

I would take party maximalists anyday. The ones who don't mind going the extra mile or spending a bit more to make every guests memory of that party truly magical. Rather than try to please sour-faced eco mums with some sort of performative frugality and have them applaud a boring party because kids only got a slice of cake in a napkin to take home.

Don’t the kids just run around together?

Exactly.

Most kids parties are boring for the parents. But you go. Because you’re a parent.

I wouldn’t consider you a friend, I’d consider you a selfish, snobby, acquaintance.