Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

A few years ago I would have agreed the dad/husband was being very weird. Maybe even creepy. My eyes have been opened to the amount of men looking at and sharing child porn, and so I see the husband's point of view now. Things are so different in the age of the internet, even little boys are not safe.

Same...teachers at school have told the girls to put shorts on underneath to protect their dignity when playing, so (I haven't read past the first few posts) I was surprised at the replies here. I didn't even question the teacher's request because for example I wouldn't wear a dress with pants and no shorts it I was intending to do cartwheels all day or climb up a climbing frame etc

It is possible to be aware, alert & cautious with your child, without being paranoid or letting it interfere with your life.

I find it difficult to believe all parents aren’t aware of the risk to children from men. Not all men 😳 but yes of course men present a risk to children that women don’t.

we can’t tell which men are dangerous by looking at them.

you know this.

I put shorts under my 4 yo's skirts and dresses if she's going somewhere she might be moving around a lot. She's not very "lady like" so she tends to flash her underpants at the world when she's in skirts/dresses. Seems like the right thing to me

i also put little shorts on my 4 year old under dresses and skirts. I don't feel like I want her underwear to exposed when playing. It's just personal preference. Inthink your husband is right although it was poorly expressed.

My wife does this.
I think she's batty but she's adamant.

I always put DD in a pair of shorts, she had really bad balance and the strangest landings.
When she was 3 on holidays, she removed her underwear before we went out, I didn't know until we were in a restaurant, a woman approached very aggressive, assuming I brought DD outside purposely bare, since then she was doubled up.
There is a child sexual predator on every street, he's not wrong.

Oh for goodness sake not all men are paedophiles, a "normal" man will not be having sexual thoughts about a child.

I always put shorts on my dd when she wears a dress and she’s 3. It’s more for practicality side of things of her jumping about as I don’t want her underwear to be flashed.

I also wore shorts under skirts and dresses in primary school so my underwear wouldn’t be seen. I remember at 6, boys laughing in my class because they could go under the table and see the girls underwear.

I see where he’s coming from to be honest. I do appreciate maybe he’s worded things a bit extreme, and I get you don’t want to live life paranoid. But there is just so much wrongdoing out there, and it’s best to protect children any way possible. Tbf I wear shorts under my dresses anyway just in case my dress did ever go up and if I had a daughter I would defo put shorts under hers too.

If there was an emergency & you had to ask a neighbour to look after your daughter for an hour, would you feel happier leaving her with a female neighbour or a male neighbour?

It's a sad world we live in to even have to think about this. But I think girls wearing shorts under a skirt isn't a bad thing because they can play and muck about without worrying if their pants end up on show. I don't even mean in a weird sexual way, more so for dignity and comfortably of all.

Having said that, it does seem a bit extreme on a ferry because it's not like she's climbing in a park or doing handstands!

You don’t need a ferry full. Just one.

Good point about most sexual abuse being committed by someone in the family.

paranoia? Oh please.

The reason there is so much CSA in families is about access. They are the children they can easily access.

those abusers who assault the children in their homes also catch ferries.

the greatest risk to children is a step father.

In this day and age? When there are pedophiles filling up every ferry booking? OK.

NRTFT but I buy these for under DC dresses. They’re still pants so I’m not telling them to wear shorts or why, but they also won’t flash anyone sat on the carpet, playing, etc

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su404883/aa7989

My daughters always wore bicycle shorts or similar- I know it’s hugely divisive on mn. For me they were free to run, jump, do 100’s of cartwheels all day without thinking about it. Just like boys do.

what do you do about the paedos? I don’t know. You do what you can. You teach your kids about correct touching etc, to go to a woman if they are lost, that good grown men don’t ask children for “help” etc.

I don’t know your H but unlike so many here I don’t think him raising this is a sign he’s a bad one or cause for concern. I think he is alert.

there is massive amounts of child sexual abuse, consumption of child abuse images, online networks etc. those that get caught, arrested are the tip of a gigantic iceberg & many judges let the “poor man off as he life might be ruined” so effectively the state gives them a wee slap in the hand & lets them go. Every day this is reported in uk.

Like rape, CSA is effectively treated by government, police, CPS & courts more like a men’s right than a crime.

Well if children are going to be running around doing cartwheels and hanging from monkey bars why put them in dresses just stick shorts on rather than all this paranoia.

Perhaps the posters paranoid about paedophiles around every corner would like to research the statistics and they’d find children are more likely to be sexually abused by someone in the family / friendship circle rather than some a you meet on a ferry. ( much less comfortable isn’t it to think it’s someone YOU might have brought into their life? )

Well this confirms it. Life shouldn't be about constantly thinking about pedophiles.

i always give my daughter a pair of shorts to put under a dress just because she’s constantly doing handstands etc and why not if she’s comfy in shorts anyway just kind of makes sense to me. I sometimes put shorts under mine though especially if it’s a windy day out lol

No, but do you go for a family day out and tell your wife that men are looking at your 4 yr old? To the park or the zoo or a restaurant? There are men everywhere looking at all sorts.

Maybe my DH is particularly oblivious or thick. I am not accusing OP's DH of anything but extreme anxiety, to be clear.