Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

Knickers were a bit more substantial in the past. I think navy blue school knickers were probably not much different to wearing shorts.

I wear small shorts under dresses and skirts myself so I don't see anything wrong with it.

Lots of reasons for wearing shorts under dresses/skirts. Especially if sitting on public transport (or a beach/grass) as the less of me touching what I'm sitting on the better. Long skirts are fine but leather/fake leather seats are sticky/sweaty.

As an adult I wear shorts to avoid changing and as I started chafing (seems to be a skin type thing) as a narrow hipped 12 year old it would have been nice for shorts under dresses to be something I always did rather than needing to have to find shorts for under skirts or just live in jeans ...

How many of people witnessing those handstands had a camera phone? And surely the reason the jeans wearers were considered fast was because their clothing gave them the freedom from behaving demurely like the stocking wearers had to.

Clothing codes shape behaviour. Stick girls in shorts (whether under dresses or not) and their bodies can move freely and without restraint IMO.

Yeah, stick her in a burka and be done with it.🙄 FFS... why do females have to "monitor" themselves all the bloody time?
4yo is a time for innocence

I wish it was not the case but agree with your DH.

Where I live techers also tell us to put shorts under skirts. I hate it tbh, but I don’t think they are 100% wrong. All DD’s knickers are boy shorts though which I think is a reasonable midpoint.

Your DH may not be being completely weird, there are weirdos out there. Theres a lot out there about CSE images being shared on-line. Maybe he watched something or read something which put the frighteners on him.

My older girls have chosen to start wearing cycling shorts under dresses at the age of 8 and 10. My youngest is 4, and it has never occurred to her. It has never occurred to myself or my husband to ask her to put shorts on. It is a strange thought…

What put that idea in his head ? That thinking is looking at a child as a sexual being ?
Most peeps wouldn't think that way 🤔

My daughter didn’t wear shorts under her dresses before she started school, didn’t even cross my
mind.

Then we were having an conversation coming home from from school and she casually told me that in the playground she had been showing a boy her private parts by moving across her underwear (we had already had the whats in your pants is only for you convo at this point). So I bought shorts for her to wear over the top of her underwear. They are also handy for the park
next to the school when she’s hanging upside down exposing her bright knickers to the world, she doesn’t want to expose her underwear and other people don’t want to see it.

Two points my lawyer father was hyper vigilant because he was prosecuting paedophiles - only when I was clearing his house after he died and I found notes referencing some really horrible cases that I realised why he was lying like that but if your husband hasn’t that sort of reason for heightened awareness it is a bit odd . When I was a prep school matron a couple of the girls complained that the boys were looking at their knickers - the girls were doing cartwheels so occupational hazard and o told them to put shorts on under if the were bothered. My little girl cousin often wears pretty long tops with knee or capri length leggings which are very practical for active play but seems excessive to worry about wearing a dress without on a ferry

The ferry itself may be a paedophile disguised as a BOAT.

This. Sexually explicit material of children is an increasing issue partly because of the ease of making and distributing images. I think this is rising in people's consciousness at the moment.

I posted this on the other thread - at a local fountains where kids play in the heat we were warned by staff to keep kids clothed because they have previously (more than once) found men hiding in the bushes taking photos.

My DD wears shorts under dresses, mostly because it's practical, partly for modesty. I actually see it as a good sign that girls are routinely physically active in our society to the point where we are questioning whether their clothing is fit for purpose. Yes they could just wear shorts, but dresses are lovely, clothing is about enjoyment as well as practicality.

Exaclty. There was a thread about wearing shorts under a dress at nursery not long ago and the consensus was some would some wouldn’t and those who would weren’t being called weirdos! Double standards on MN yet again.

You mean her vulva, you cannot see inside the vagina.

Very odd for a child not to wearing any underwear.

Strange that you looked so intently as to be able to see.

You think ferries are full of paedos and girls wearing shorts will stop them being paedos? Are you okay?

Not really the point of the thread but….

I have 3DD’s and funnily enough one of the only times I have felt uncomfortable and in a situation where might be risk by men who were acting oddly was on a ferry going to France.

We were sitting next to the duty free and there was a group hovering around talking lowly on phones to each other, they were Eastern European, so not sure what they were saying to each other.

My girls were 9, 7 and 3 and the elder two were going back and forth (within our sight line) to look at the sweets and both times someone from the party of men would also end up in the same aisle as them.

DH and I are as laid back as they come and we both had a dodgy feeling about it so moved pretty quickly and kept the girls with us.

It's the cartwheeling...I see both your points.

I don’t like this trend at all because it’s not many steps away from ‘well she was wearing a short skirt (insert whatever random piece of clothing that’s appropriate), what does she expect?’. The excuse of rapists/some men/ some members of the public/ some of the court system for generations of rapists.

Let’s not teach our children that they have to dress a certain way or they will be in trouble for inviting inappropriate attention.

Don’t understand the wearing pants to cover pants thing. Get them substantial pants that cover them properly.

My Dd and all her friends wear shorts under skirts/dresses so they can do handstands & cartwheels etc. The difference is they’re all 10/11 year olds.
It wasn’t something I thought about when she was 4…

it is hard to know the percentage of paedophiles in society, as many never offend, but the estimates are around 3%. So in any busy place they will be there, looking at our children.
It’s hideous but it is better to know that so we can decide how to best protect them.

I have a daughter who is 17 now, she has always been conventionally attractive and men didn’t stare at her at that age. I think he is being paranoid. I know my ex struggles with men looking at her now she’s older, and she is incredibly shy so certainly doesn’t want this attention. Her dad has a semi high profile role overseas and during one posting when she was 14, she had over 400 comments about her on social media, on a video which she was just a bystander. Not a word about her brother who actually loves the particular sport or her father, all about her. I was massively relieved when she left that country after the visit and he is now somewhere hopefully a lot less sexualisation of young women. Having a daughter is not easier (I had 2 sons first).

I think it's an odd thing to think really. Maybe he has genuine concerns. Is he normally worrying kind of guy.A ferry is crowded surely.i mean you could say the same about anywhere really.its a terrible shame if little girls have to wear shorts and dresses.i am early 60s so not a thing when DD was small

Had something weirder on the bus yesterday: a little girl, around 3, wearing a short jeans skirt that had gotten bent over on the front. Due to thick material it didn't fell back and the girl was not wearing underwear so her vagina was on display. I went up and whispered this to the mother who was standing with her girl and a stroller with a baby. She glares at me and tell me to just stop looking at her girl if it bothers me1🙄