Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

I wasn’t going to put shorts on mine when wearing skirts, partly because I don’t really buy into the ‘paedo panic’ (they also wear substantial pants!) but they both ask for shorts in case they accidentally show their pants when playing. We’re also in Scotland so it can be a bit draughty!

I wonder how Op's husband feels when he finds out OP has been discussing their dd's pants with random strangers on the internet 😂

@Thatsnotmynamee why don't you show your dh this thread?

There are weirdos everywhere & I think people are making fun of your DP when actually his concerns are valid. I remember being in a large city with a friend and her 3 young daughters & we had to speak to an older man who was taking photos of one of the girls. She was probably around the same age as your daughter. So yes it is a thing & he is just trying to protect her. You only have to see how thousands save TikTok & Instagram clips of children of influencers & how the numbers of people saving clips jumps hugely if they feature just the child & even more if she is in a swimsuit or a cute outfit. It’s vile but to just ignore the issue & say parents are paranoid is a bit naive.

Shorts all the way.

A couple of years ago I would have agreed with you OP however there were a couple of incidents at a local park near my DGD’s nursery school which is part of the primary school . Groups of men were hanging around and filming the DC . Police were involved .
Nursery now requires girls to wear shorts under dresses .

Peodophiles dont need photos of your daughter. They’re more interested in traumatic images they find on the dark web.

Maybe he has been reading about upskirting? I think he is being a bit paranoid. However, I actually think it is helpful to let little girls have shorts (as long as they are comfortable) under their dresses in some circumstances, so they can play more freely. I wouldn't think this is something to worry about aged 4 though. So sort of see where he is coming from, but equally wouldn't think to worry about taking a child on a ferry without shorts under a dress.

Has he had a bad experience as a child, or known someone who has? Tbh just reading a news article could have freaked him though and I do understand that. Have you read the NSPCC Pantasaurous book with your daughter, could this be a constructive way for him to channel some of his concerns into giving your child some knowledge in case it is needed.

I guess it'a all about click, engagement and revenue although imo MN should delete threads ion this topic. Glad my dc are older and I don't use MN for actual support.

Sleazy.

I’m on team cartwheel. My daughter has always worn short style knickers due to her spending most of her life upside down 🙃 doing cartwheels or handstands or just hanging off the sofa like a bat 🦇

Ive never let my daughter wear two piece swimwear either. I just think normal
swimsuits stay put better and are more age appropriate. 10 year old DD causes a fuss about this every summer, but I’ve stood my ground so far!

I work with sex offenders most of them are not old men.

Yep, and some of the detailed descriptions here of what can be seen under pants will be appealing to the base interests of some of the readership no doubt. Ugh.

Paedophiles can't cross water so you'll be fine on a ferry.

Haha are you kidding me? Her skirt was up, kept up because of the hard fabric do it was staying up, showing her private parts (since you had to nitpick on choice of words🙄) for everyone to see since she wasn't wearing underwear but you're siding with the mother telling me I should have just looked away and kept my mouth shut instead of warning the mother that her skirt was up? Or maybe it's normal for you showing off your kids naked on public transport.🤷‍♀️

I sometimes wear them because I cycle daily and like to be able to climb things/ squat etc as needed. I like clothes of all kinds and didn't tend to wear shorter dresses in summer until I realised I could do this.

We spend a lot of time teaching kids that pants are private at school. Lots of kids where I work do cartwheels and wear skirts so yes, we do advise shorts and my own girls wear them too.

I don't think shorts can hurt can they. Little girls in dresses are (rightly) not trying to be "modest" they do handstand, cartwheels, sit legs splayed with knickers on show.

DD has long legs and likes short skirts so at 11 often still chooses to wear shorts under them. I recently bought a short dress with a flippy skirt and felt a bit annoyed out and about as the wind kept lifting it and I felt like I was always trying to hold it down, then I had a brainwave and stuck cycling shorts underneath. It was way more pleasant to wear and I was out and about without worrying about the wind, so maybe it should be more common!

Incidentally-I do hate it when people talk about girls “flashing” They aren’t “flashing”. Their pants are accidentally showing as they do normal childhood activities.

Another day, another Mn thread about little or teen girls knickers and bottoms 😏

Wonder what MN advertisers think about this recently poplar conversation topic?

Perhaps there should be a designated MN forum to cater for this rising interest?

Boys seem to manage with pants under shorts/trousers.

My daughter is at university now and we never put her in shorts when she was young.

Shorts over pants could be a recipe for discomfort and thrush?

Why are so many adults wearing shorts and skirts under dresses though? It would not cross my mind to.

It's so sad we have to protect our young kids this way. But as soon as the kid, esp. girls are pre / secondary they are wearing very short dresses and skirts with their arses hanging out.
Personally I'm in the wear what you want camp for women but it is total opposite ends of the spectrum between the ages.

I think the issue is that girls’ underwear these days generally has less coverage than it did when we were kids. I made sure my DD wore ‘full briefs’ when she was young enough to be flashing her pants to the world when cartwheeling and climbing in the playground. Like you, I didn’t want to make an issue about people seeing her pants - she was just a little girl and the school playground is relatively private.
Then I became a parent helper at school and realised that a lot of girls wear poorly-fitted briefs with gaping leg holes that show way more than anyone else needs to see and understand why the staff encourage the girls to pop on a pair of cycle shorts under their dress!

It's not that different to when I was at school and had to wear big gym knickers over my normal knickers. Several people on this thread have made good points about the prevalence of phones and photography.

Edited as I wrote difficult, but meant different.

All my dds class have been wearing shorts under their skirts and summer dresses for years. She's 8. It seems to be the norm.
I remember other girls in my class shouting at each other ' I can see your knickers' so it's out of modesty more than anything I would think.