Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

I think it’s good that he’s looking out for her like that. Little girls tend to bend over when they’re playing and play around with the skirts of their dresses and stuff. When I was little I was constantly being barked at by parents and grandparents about ‘sitting like a lady- not like that’… if I have a daughter I will make cycle shorts under dresses/skirts a staple as then they can do whatever they please without having to worry about that nonsense. I feel super self conscious wearing a skirt without them myself so I would want my daughter to be able to feel the same comfort and security. I wear a skirt over cycle shorts every day 😊

Navy blue with pocket for a hanky?

This lead has been an eye-opener for me. I had no idea that so many women were wearing shorts under their dresses. Is this just for mini dresses or is it for dresses of all lengths? And presumably in winter if you wear tights, you don’t wear them?

I’m an adult with zero fear of being upskirted and highly doubt anyone unwanted would see my underwear when I’m in a dress, but I always have cycling shorts on under my dress for comfort. Not because I’m self conscious and they’re generally more comfortable than knickers. In fact for most of summer I wear cycling shorts instead of underwear. It’s a perfectly valid fashion and comfort choice.

No, no. That's not the point of swimwear. Why do they need to put a dress over it? It's OK to see isn't it because it's 'covered'?

Different how? Adult pants and possible genitalia is not OK to see: children's is OK. But only little girls - boys don't have to worry about it.

Strange way to think.

So you think my DD has to change what she wears. Gotcha.

Skirts don't give complete coverage. If underwear gives 'complete' coverage then you agree it's OK for all adults to wander round in them. That's great to hear.

So just put them in shorts of it bothers you. Not shorts under other clothes which give complete coverage.

Adults and children are different.
I don’t get your point on swimwear. People can indeed wear it everywhere if they put a dress over it.

You usually cross your legs if your skirt is too short to sit normally, but you can freely wear longer skirt.

You do, as an adult, yes. You do. But kids don't cross their legs. Neither should they have to alter what they're wearing. So pants are on show a lot, yeah.

Boys pants aren't. Adults pants aren't. Just little girls.

Accident, no. Kids don't show their pants occasionally - my DD is always doing cartwheels or spinning around or tumbling about so her pants would be on show a lot of the time. But it's not OK for adults to be showing their pants a lot of the time - only occasionally and accidently

So what should she change - what she wears or how she acts?

Swimwear is fine as long as everyone gets to wear it anywhere, no matter how ill fitting. Men, women, children included.

I travel by the Tube. Occ catch a glimpse of an adult woman's knickers as they cross their legs. Big deal. Can't imagine wearing suffocating cycling shorts under my dress in summer.
This thread has really drawn some absolute loons ( not OPs fault). OP, you are sorted with the Next knickers.

Of course there a peadophiles on ferries.
they are everywhere.
just like thiefs are everywhere.

i put shorts on my girls under dresses. Not necessarily because of peados but because we don’t go around flashing our pants at people on general. I wear shorts under most dresses too

This. Men do stare and DD has been touched, her cheek and her hair - we both have. I dye my hair auburn but I’m blonde and so is DD. She’s beautiful, people stare and she’s painfully shy.

I’ve worked with sex offenders out on release so my mind absolutely goes there.

Also @Pollomollo a grown woman and a child arent quite the same, are they? If I flash my knickers it could legitimately be because I’m flirting. Or it could be an accident. That issue isn’t the case with small children. You’re sexualising them.

next thing people will start asking for full leg coverage, then they will ask for burka. Where do we draw a line. When you're wearing a skirt or dress, you're not naked. You're wearing two pieces of clothes over your bottom. You usually cross your legs if your skirt is too short to sit normally, but you can freely wear longer skirt.

I don't understand this public hair thing - pubic hairs are normal on grown woman. I'm not disguisted by my hairs, that's soley on you. If you feel disguist on woman hair I wish you to choke on it. Figuratively, of course.

This is bonkers. Are we all supposed to wear shorts under dresses now? This isn't Victorian England.
How did the thread jump to women wandering around Tesco in their knickers?

If they show accidentally, sure. Don’t really see the issue. Bit different from wandering around only in pants, isn’t it? Where do you stand on swimwear? Self conscious or not?

@TerminalMoraine
They're really good....originally discovered them when trying to find pants that wouldn't give DD a wedgie 😂

Is it OK if your knickers show? Or women in general bending over on sitting with their legs apart and you can see up their skirts? What if some pubic hair is poking out? Or they have a wedgie? Is that OK?

Can men wander round Tesco in their Y-fronts? What about little boys having their pants on show all the time?

Shall we tell all of them not to be self conscious and carry on?

These Next pants look like they give really good coverage.
Some shorts knickers for girls gape at the gusset because they don’t have elastic around the legs. My DD used to refuse to wear them

We tell girls to be demure & not show their underwear at the same time as giving them dresses & skirts to wear along with little knickers. It results in behaviour change at a certain point & they stop running around with part of their energy always focused on how they are sitting, bending. It's really miserable & needs to be consigned to history along with a lot of things that used to be 'normal' with & around young girls.

Not sure I'm on the same tip as your DH for the Why's (though sicko's are everywhere, even on ferries!) but hell yes to big pants or shorts underneath skirts & dresses. Start normalising that she doesn't have to moderate her behaviour because of her clothes.

Yep. I read somewhere, and it was a proper study not Psycho Susie off the Interweb, that they estimated roughly 1 in 15 men are interested sexually in those under the UK age of consent. So some will be spying on and perving over 14 year olds of course, but many will be the same to 2,3,4,5 year olds.

The chances are there was at least a couple of paedophiles on that ferry. That’s just the odds. Whether they would do anything or actually take photos is another step, but they will be there, looking and thinking about children.

So I don’t think your husband is being completely out of whack.

Or…we could tell them they don’t need to be self conscious if their knickers show. Generations have managed. What about swimwear? Should they feel self conscious in that too?