Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

my friend does it with her girls because she wants them to be active and not worry about showing their knickers. Other children can mock girls who show their underwear.

Pants should cover what needs to be covered. Make sure they do (sometimes they are too narrow in the gusset or too easily do a wedgie). The little shortie knickers are great for this. But pants do not then need to be covered by shorts.

Rather than letting me inducing embarrassment on my daughter and me having to say to her, please don’t show your knickers to other people, she wears those cotton short bicycle shorts under skirts.. they were encouraged to cross legged in primary school and she likes to climb trees….

Thing is that boys don't generally wear skimpy clothing or fitted clothes. 90s kids dressed in baggy shorts and T shirts. So much better, let kids be kids

I’ve got mixed feelings.
I think your husband has a point.
I have recently been in the company of small girls in dresses. They were sitting opposite me on a ferry (as it happens) but the venue is a red herring.

I squirmed when the small girls put their feet up on their seat as they slumped and regrettably all was revealed. I thought I might say something to the mothers but kept quiet.

As a mother I’d probably put my small girl in “substantial “ panties that hold their shape and coverage whatever wriggling and playing they do. There are weirdos everywhere as Mumsnet will testify.

As someone who’s worked with young dc, I approve of girls wearing shorts under a skirt. Unfortunately as a PP said, a lot of knickers do not cover everything and if little boys were showing that area every time they sat down crossed legs, we’d all be doing something to change it, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all in encouraging shorts for girls.

Not sure I understand your point. Is there any particular reason why paedophiles would shun that form of transport?

My five-year-old has little cycling shorts to wear under dresses and school skirts, for her modesty. I wouldn't want my son's pants on show either. Believe it or not, 800 men A DAY are arrested for looking at child pornography online. It's a huge issue. My neighbour was arrested for this last year and I went down a rabbit hole reading into it, which is why I have this terrible stat lodged in my mind.

Packed with? No.

Completely devoid of? Still no.

Unfortunately, he is not wrong. My cartwheeling, legs akimbo- sitting, little ones are innocent. But there are disgusting people everywhere. It's just a pair if short. Why is this an issue?

We had this thread last week. What’s happening on this subject?!

Ours would always wear this style pants / briefs. Not shorts but a more secure pant. Great for playing / twirling on the bars whatever they like. I don’t think your husband was sexualising your daughter, that’s a disgusting thing for others to accuse him of, he’s just being aware. I was too. There are too many of these sickos about unfortunately.

Obv OP if you have some sort of gut feeling about your husband being inappropriate- that’s an entirely different matter.

I haven't voted as not sure what your stand is, as to whether YABU or not, but he is clearly being vvv unreasonable.

I am another who wonders how his mind went to that, on a ferry.

Wearing shorts makes them LESS self conscious as they can then play and tumble without their pants showing.

i would say the same if boys wore clothes that could show their pants

We do put shorts under a dress for the four year old, but for practicality and keeping her from flashing people when she does cartwheels, not because we're worried about paedophiles. I think that's a very odd place for your DH to go to.

was she doing actively showing off her underwear on ferry? His reaction is odd. But your reaction of being grossed out by him says a lot more..

listen to what your hunch is telling you

I wouldn't, leggings on small kids are so exposing. It's essentially the same thing.

I'm not paranoid about paedophiles or anything like that, but I do have my dd wear bike shorts under skirts and dresses. Because of their height (short, so the skirt is short), the constant playing around doing cartwheels etc, and the way kids normally sit on the ground, I find underwear is basically constantly on show with kids. I suppose that's no big deal but I think it's nicer to cover it. It also protects their legs a bit more when sitting on the ground.

Also when I wear dresses, I always wear undershorts myself, it's more comfortable and keeps my legs rubbing together. So I feel like it's comfortable for kids as well.

I think short style underwear are better under dresses as they dont gap when sitting crossed legged or playing.

Local primary schools here ask parents to ensure their daughters have shorts on under their dresses and skirts if they aren’t wearing skorts, shorts or trousers.

You think ferries are packed with men looking at 4 yr olds who are not wearing shorts under their dresses?

Get proper knickers and it shouldn't be a problem. Amazon do thick cotton shorty ones that don't gape. Cheap supermarket ones are crap and do gape and reveal everything.

I agree he seems overly concerned and I'd be questioning why he is so focused on this.

Dd likes to wear shorts underneath as she wants to wear dresses, but also wants to run and play and roll about without worrying about showing her pants. It's fairly common around here. I would be more worried about online pictures though, even in a private account.