Pants under skirt for 4 year old - DH and I disagree

I always put cycling shorts under dresses / skirts for my daughter since she loves to climb everything, cartwheels, do the splits. Really not a fan of anyone’s underwear being on show.

I think
that mini cycling shorts-style shorts a re a sensible option . Kids hang upside from climbing frames, roll down hills, ride bikes It is not even about paedophiles, just maintaining privacy in front of whoever is there. Other kids laugh at other kids who accidentally expose their knickers, it is more comfortable in the heat to wear cotton cycling shorts under skirts. Skorts are another option that teenage girls like to wear.
OPs DH does sound anxious but maybe he has personal experiences that trigger uncomfortable feelings.
I hate to see little girls accidentally flashing their knickers at the park. But I was SA’d by boys who were couple of years older than me as a child. I spent my early teenage years in baggy clothes and lots of layers even in summer as a result.
I am in my late forties and my mum tells me that my dad was uncomfortable bathing me as a child, dad is definitely not a pervert and was ok with my sibling brothers but is obviously uncomfortable around breast feeding, changing grandchildren’s nappies. And it is not becuase he is avoiding unpleasant task of nappy changing he is and always has been a very private reserved person.

As someone that has many relatives that were abused as children, your husband is right to be paranoid of the predators.

I don't see why they wouldn't be on the ferry - the estimates of the number of paedophiles around are terrifying so I don't think the DH is being unreasonable here.

I don't know why so many PPs are being so unpleasant about OP's DH. The man doesn't like the idea of people seeing his young daughter's underwear, that's all. The comment about him having noticed men looking at her is hopefully him being overly cautious, but I don't think OP needs to worry about her DH and I think it is unkind of people to suggest she should without any actual evidence.

He is being overly paranoid but it is also fairly common certainly I do and DD does (teenager) and all her friends - admittedly with v v short skirts

Generally, I think that no shorts are fine and in a school environment its ok, the other kids literally don't care and teachers dont either.

That said, my yougest does wear cycling shorts under unform and in home clothes too. She has ADHD so has fewer boundaries and zero modesty so if left to her own devices could be likely to flash her pants for a laugh.

Generally, I think that no shorts are fine and in a school environment its ok, the other kids literally don't care and teachers dont either. That said, my yougest does wear cycling shorts under unform and in home clothes too. She has ADHD so has fewer boundaries and zero modesty so if left to her own devices could be likely to flash her pants for a laugh.

And I remember girls in my primary school doing handstands against the school wall and everybody seeing (gasp) their knickers! We weren't a bit fussed about it and neither were the teachers.
You know even further back, in the 50's, it was the (ostensibly) fast flashy promiscuous girls who were wearing jeans and trousers and the naice girls who were wearing skirts and dresses (with stockings and suspenders)! There is nothing more irrational than the cultural codes attached to women's and girls' clothing . . . .

Indeed

It's not the wearing of shorts under dresses I find weird. I fully understand why parents put shorts on their kids, especially for school.
It's the interrupting of a family day out to worry about paedophiles in the vicinity.

I don’t think it’s weird or unusual to wear shorts under dresses? I wear them under my dresses / skirts. In winter they also help keep my tights up.
I do it purely so that I feel protected when going up stairs / getting in and out of the car / wind when outside / bending / running around and after my children in various awkward positions.
I hadn’t thought about the element the OPs husband is worried and concerned about but I don’t think it’s weird for girls to wear shorts as then they can run / play however they want to, whilst still wearing what they like. Or as others have said they could wear shorts or leggings or trousers.
Do what promotes confidence is what I would prioritise.

there are paedophiles everywhere though. And many of them structure their lives so they are in positions where they can access families and children. They are deeply invested in the “long game” and also opportunistic.

you have to be extremely naive not to know this.

IME men are often more aware of how other men think and operate. Women are more inclined to “be kind” ethos and this is a big mistake.

men and women of all ages do watch toddlers, generally concerned about their safety and what they are doing (often unsafe) while parents are distracted.
as for what is on display under a skirt, underwear should fully cover genitals and nothing should be more exposed than when wearing swim bottoms.

He's right and you're being naive to even ask this.

I wonder was he targeted by someone as a child and is a bit paranoid.

Personally I think it depends on what the child likes and really object to people telling girls to cover themselves up. So what if they do a cartwheel and their underwear is visible for a split second? In the absolute worst case scenario, they do a cartwheel and their underwear slips a little to the side, and someone happens to be standing immediately beside them and glimpses an extra bit of flesh in the vulva area. Is that really so awful? And maybe that person happens to be a paedophile. Is that really a scenario worth worrying out? They are a lot more likely to dislocate a joint doing the cartwheel or have their hair caught on something. It seems like a ridiculous precaution to take IMO.

I wonder was he targeted by someone as a child and is a bit paranoid.

Personally I think it depends on what the child likes and really object to people telling girls to cover themselves up. So what if they do a cartwheel and their underwear is visible for a split second? In the absolute worst case scenario, they do a cartwheel and their underwear slips a little to the side, and someone happens to be standing immediately beside them and glimpses an extra bit of flesh in the vulva area. Is that really so awful? And maybe that person happens to be a paedophile. Is that really a scenario worth worrying out? They are a lot more likely to dislocate a joint doing the cartwheel or have their hair caught on something. It seems like a ridiculous precaution to take IMO.

Yes my DD wears shorts underneath her skirts / summer dresses etc. I don’t think it’s uncommon at all?

Small girls have a tendency to jump around and flash their nickers unintentionally, i agree with shorts personally

Urgh not this again, we had a thread about little girls wearing shorts under dresses last week as well. Let's not talk about it anymore eh? We don't know who is watching.

He thinks like that because the subject of little girls wearing shorts under a dress comes up often recently. It seems to be a new thing.

I thought it was weird, looks weird too. By all means wear shorts but with a t-shirt, not under a dress. I don't wear shorts under a skirt.

I get that little girls are more lively than grown women, they run and roll around, their skirts can go up and show underwear but paedophiles find all sorts of things appealing, you really can't win. Decent underwear should be quite enough, frankly, or else keep her in shorts and t-shirt while she is lively. Poor little kid will get a complex.

To me this is such a simple and sensible thing to do. It's hardly difficult for the parent, or uncomfortable for the child. I truly don't understand why some folks find it objectionable