Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 5 year old in a doctors waiting room?

162 replies

BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 20:14

I have to go to the doctor in a couple of weeks- I made an appointment to talk about my mental health/ hormones, as I am really struggling with my emotions at the moment and don’t feel right at all.

The problem is, I’m a lone parent to my 5 year old Dd , and i don’t want her hearing the conversation for obvious reasons. I don’t have any childcare help at all- no local family, friends will all be working- and I am really not sure what to do with DD for those 10-15 mins. I am pretty sure she will be ok reading a book or colouring by herself in the waiting room, but WIBU to leave her? I’m a bit nervous as of course I’ll be behind a closed door.

OP posts:
valentinka31 · 22/08/2025 22:45

BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 21:49

hi everyone, just to remind some posters that perhaps it isn’t great to suggest to someone who says that she is struggling with their mental health that they are ‘crazy’ or have ‘lost their mind’…

I have already said that I am going to get some headphones for DD and this will solve the problem.

Thank you to everyone who has been helpful, it is much appreciated .

Edited

yes, I think that's ok - keep her with you, but protect her. Or does she not have a little friend to go and play with? That way she doesn't even need to know you've been.

Tbf personally I'd insist on the time off work to deal with this adult matter in school time, but that's just me.

Supergirl1958 · 22/08/2025 22:44

BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 20:18

I could, but then I would have to postpone the appointment for a while. I’m a teacher and leaving school for a doctors appointment isn’t really the done thing in the first few weeks of term.

Show quote history

Then I would speak to your union and get them to give advice! Surely as a teacher you KNOW it isn’t the done thing to leave a five year old alone in a room full of strangers. Could you get an appointment during your lunch break? I’m a teacher and we are allowed those. Failing that, I would just go on sick leave, if your mental health is suffering that badly then I suggest time off work.

BlondieMuver · 22/08/2025 22:43

Womblingmerrily · 22/08/2025 20:17

Absolutely not.

You cannot leave a 5 year old in an unsecured public place.

She will have to come in with you. You could give her headphones to wear whilst you are talking to the Dr/a video to watch so that you limit her hearing the conversation.

Unsecured ?!

Jaws2025 · 22/08/2025 22:43

JLou08 · 22/08/2025 21:55

Yes it would be very unreasonable, I wouldn't be surprised if they reported you to social services if you did it. Can you not put it off till child is back at school or ask for a telephone appointment?

Don't be ridiculous

Helpmefindmysoul · 22/08/2025 22:43

Mentioned already but can you arrange a play date for her? If she’s 5 presumably she’s just finished reception / FS2 so has friends from school?

@MixedBananas so sorry to hear this, whereabouts are you based? If near to me would be happy to meet up. Feel free to private message me 😊

Clarabellawilliamson · 22/08/2025 22:41

Where does your child go before and after school? I totally understand how hard it can be to get out of school for an appointment, but if you could get one for just after school ends then that could also be a solution? Unless you work at their school and they come to your classroom at the end of the day, you will have some childcare at 3.30?
hope you get it sorted and get the support you need.x

Supergirl1958 · 22/08/2025 22:40

BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 20:14

I have to go to the doctor in a couple of weeks- I made an appointment to talk about my mental health/ hormones, as I am really struggling with my emotions at the moment and don’t feel right at all.

The problem is, I’m a lone parent to my 5 year old Dd , and i don’t want her hearing the conversation for obvious reasons. I don’t have any childcare help at all- no local family, friends will all be working- and I am really not sure what to do with DD for those 10-15 mins. I am pretty sure she will be ok reading a book or colouring by herself in the waiting room, but WIBU to leave her? I’m a bit nervous as of course I’ll be behind a closed door.

Will she not be at school?
YABVU to leave her in a doctors waiting room. Sorry!

DryAndBalmy · 22/08/2025 22:40

No. Not appropriate.

Bring her in with you and settle her with headphones and a cartoon film to watch on a device.

Wasvular · 22/08/2025 22:33

Just borrow some headphones and stick on YouTube on your phone

okydokethen · 22/08/2025 22:21

Headphones and iPad

AntiBullshit · 22/08/2025 22:15

Take your child in with you, they will have no understanding of anything you or the GP says.
I had a smear when one of mine was young and they just sat and played with a toy on the GP room

Chattanoogachoo · 22/08/2025 22:07

Do you have a local Homestart group?
May be worth giving them a call to see if they could help.
Good on you for re looking for help and I'm saddened that such a simple need can't be easily met.

YumYa · 22/08/2025 22:04

@BarbaraVineFan good luck. I hope your appointment is helpful.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 22/08/2025 22:04

I’m sure they will understand and keep an eye on her while you’re in your appointment

UnlimitedBacon · 22/08/2025 21:58

Arrange a phone appointment and put Bluey on

WilliamBell · 22/08/2025 21:57

lanthanum · 22/08/2025 21:46

It's always difficult to ask a favour, but often people will be happy to help, and you may be able to repay them in kind. My FB memories recently threw up a post where I asked whether any of my friends would swap having my DD for a couple of hours for me having their kid/kids on another day.

Show quote history

Yes, would you feel more comfortable doing this if you presented it as a swap rather than just a favour?

NovaF · 22/08/2025 21:57

Can you not just put on some headphones on her connected to your phone for an episode or two of bluey on youtube while you talk to the dr?

DanceMumTaxi · 22/08/2025 21:57

I think a programme on a phone/tablet with headphones is your best bet. A 5 year old will be much more interested that than anything you and the doctor are talking about. You won’t be able to talk properly for worry if you leave her outside.

Walkerzoo · 22/08/2025 21:56

I had a smear and needed to leave older kids in waiting room.
One was distraught. Really surprised me as I wasn't long and had spike about it and they have been there a few times so it wasn't a strange environment. But I was taken back by hoe scared he was.
Favourite movie and headphones if any pal really can't help.
Hope it goes ok

WilliamBell · 22/08/2025 21:55

teksquad · 22/08/2025 20:17

can you phone the surgery and explain and ask if there is a nurse or receptionist that would be happy to sit with him or watch him for 20 mins?

You know nurses are extensively trained professionals, right, and not babysitters?!

I think it's definitely outside of a receptionist's job role too.

JLou08 · 22/08/2025 21:55

Yes it would be very unreasonable, I wouldn't be surprised if they reported you to social services if you did it. Can you not put it off till child is back at school or ask for a telephone appointment?

Papergirl1968 · 22/08/2025 21:52

I’m a GP receptionist.
I’ve stood by a baby in a pram for a moment while mum nipped to the loo, but while I’d be happy to watch your child, I don’t think my boss would look favourably on it for a ten min appointment. Neither would they be happy with the child being left alone in the waiting room. Worst case scenario they might either wander out of the front door or start going into clinical rooms looking for you.
I think it would have to be a phone appointment or headphones as pp have suggested, unless anyone - neighbour, colleague, even a neighbour’s teenage daughter, could be persuaded to come with you and sit with your child in the waiting room.

IShouldNotCoco · 22/08/2025 21:52

BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 21:49

hi everyone, just to remind some posters that perhaps it isn’t great to suggest to someone who says that she is struggling with their mental health that they are ‘crazy’ or have ‘lost their mind’…

I have already said that I am going to get some headphones for DD and this will solve the problem.

Thank you to everyone who has been helpful, it is much appreciated .

Edited

That’s a great idea (headphones)!

another option might be to write things down for the GP to read.

IShouldNotCoco · 22/08/2025 21:51

No, please don’t leave her. My dd is 5 - she would feel very insecure if I left her in a waiting room. I mean, anyone could just take her.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 22/08/2025 21:49

hi everyone, just to remind some posters that perhaps it isn’t great to suggest to someone who says that she is struggling with their mental health that they are ‘crazy’ or have ‘lost their mind’…

I have already said that I am going to get some headphones for DD and this will solve the problem.

Thank you to everyone who has been helpful, it is much appreciated .

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread