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AIBU?

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Original poster

Chuck this one back? WWYD?

58 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:08

Met a guy recently seemed ok but a bit opinionated. Interesting conversation though. He does ring and message.

I've been out twice with him, both daytime afternoons for 2 hours max. Told me he won't ever be available Saturday as it's sacrosanct for going out with his mates.

2 Saturdays ago was his birthday and he went out at noon round pubs, for a curry and then back to the pub until kicking out time. I'm not comfortable with that.

I suggested we went to a quiz night and he said he'd let me know, then called to say he'd forgotten he'd arranged to meet up with former work colleagues but wanted to see me on Sunday.

I feel it's always going to be like this, WWYD?

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 22/08/2025 20:29

It doesn’t sound like you’re compatible. He’s behaving in a very single way. Because he is. But whether he’d compromise on this a little for a relationship is uncertain. It might always be like this.
There’s nothing wrong with the way he wants to celebrate his birthday. Sounds like a good day with mates. But if you don’t like it, he won’t change. So it might be best to move on to someone else.

Original poster
RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:27

I don't mind spending time in the pub but not to the point of getting totally hammered.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 22/08/2025 20:18

If you’re already not happy then he’s not the one for you. It sounds like you’re very different people to be honest, personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him having a day in the pub for his birthday with friends but if you’re not comfortable with that then you’re incompatible- nobody is wrong, just different.

Createausername1970 · 22/08/2025 20:16

It depends on what you want out of a long term relationship.

On the plus side he has been honest about this upfront, so you know where you stand. If you are someone who enjoys your own space and meeting your own friends and going away with friends etc., then in some ways he is an ideal partner, he isn't going to be complaining if you arrange to do stuff without him.

If you are not so independently minded and want to do coupley things and weekends away with him then it's not going to happen.

As long as I was free to pursue my own life when he was out with his mates, it wouldn't overly bother me - as a childless couple.

If you are thinking about having kids then this might change things.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 22/08/2025 20:15

Definitely throw him back x

DedododoDedadada · 22/08/2025 20:13

If you feel like this now, it is unlikely to get better so cut your losses.

Rainbowqueeen · 22/08/2025 20:10

Not worth it. You would always come second.

YesHonestly · 22/08/2025 20:09

Get rid.