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AIBU?

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Original poster

Chuck this one back? WWYD?

58 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:08

Met a guy recently seemed ok but a bit opinionated. Interesting conversation though. He does ring and message.

I've been out twice with him, both daytime afternoons for 2 hours max. Told me he won't ever be available Saturday as it's sacrosanct for going out with his mates.

2 Saturdays ago was his birthday and he went out at noon round pubs, for a curry and then back to the pub until kicking out time. I'm not comfortable with that.

I suggested we went to a quiz night and he said he'd let me know, then called to say he'd forgotten he'd arranged to meet up with former work colleagues but wanted to see me on Sunday.

I feel it's always going to be like this, WWYD?

OP posts:
Studyunder · 22/08/2025 22:12

Rainbowqueeen · 22/08/2025 20:10

Not worth it. You would always come second.

This. Better luck next time

LittlleMy · 22/08/2025 21:43

Some PP telling you him saying Saturdays are out of bounds as honest but I say honesty should be given in a 37 year old man so to me it’s di*khead behaviour prioritising every Sat with mates ahead of you.

You know you don’t want a manchild. Thank you but NEXT!

oldclock · 22/08/2025 21:34

RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:32

He's 37!

Show quote history

He doesn't act like it.....

InterestedDad37 · 22/08/2025 21:26

RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:32

He's 37!

Show quote history

Maybe 37 in chronological age, but clearly not that old in other ways 😀 17, I reckon. He's not gonna change, so don't take that on as a project 👍

FloofyKat · 22/08/2025 21:22

Too selfish and self-absorbed. Get rid!

AbzMoz · 22/08/2025 21:21

He’s told you what he wants his Saturdays to be like and has been quite clear he has no intention to change them. Might be worth a candid chat and a trial run to prove he can stick to it, but it’s unlikely he will change as he evidently doesn’t want to.

If you proposed a weekend away would he go? If it was your birthday or a family event, would he go? If you had kids, would he prioritise them?

twobabiesandapup · 22/08/2025 21:21

Ugh that would be a hard no from me I would absolutely throw him back! Never available on a Saturday night?! That’s the best night! No being tired from work that day and no having to get up early for work the next morning. Doesn’t sound like you’re compatible to me

CalamityGanon · 22/08/2025 21:17

Get rid. I had exactly this except Friday evenings he went to the pub with his neighbours and Saturday evening he went out with his friends. The week was a mixture of kids (fine) and various hobbies. After the initial enthusiasm when he did make an effort I was relegated to Sunday evening. It was made worse because on Sunday evening he was ‘tired’ so we’d end up watching tv whilst he made me a ready meal. 3 months in that wasn’t my idea of a relationship that was going anywhere so off he went. It won’t get any better and you need to move on.

Plastictreees · 22/08/2025 21:05

He’s a 37 year old baby. NEXT.

Thisisbetweenyoumeandtheinternet · 22/08/2025 21:01

Wow he sounds really immature and I assumed you’d say he was 20 not 37!! He should want to see you as a new partner when it’s exciting, not spend the whole day drinking! Chuck him back!

Original poster
RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:59

I had a boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 18 and everything revolved around his mates. When he met me off the bus 9 times out of 10 it was "let's call for Sam". I got fed up with it and it's feeling like that.

OP posts:
BrickSnakes · 22/08/2025 20:57

You aren’t compatible. He likes to socialise with friends Saturdays and you said that isn’t acceptable to you. End it now otherwise you’ll only piss each other off later.

k1233 · 22/08/2025 20:57

Ok. New relationship is the stage where he's trying to impress you. Impressing you = I get shit faced with my mates every Saturday, you can have hung over Sunday's. Yeah, not for me. Plus this is his "best" version of himself at the moment. Reality will be way worse.

MounjaroMounjaro · 22/08/2025 20:53

Ugh, come on, OP, there are so many things wrong with this man! Chuck him back in the sea. I doubt he's faithful. He has a problem with alcohol. His mates will always come first. Get rid.

Lifestooshort6591 · 22/08/2025 20:43

Bye bye

autienotnaughty · 22/08/2025 20:41

if it’s casual dating then just don’t see him Saturdays.
if you are wanting a relationship then unless you are happy to not see him for a portion of the weekend it isn’t going to work

Givenupshopping · 22/08/2025 20:40

Just dump him and be done with it OP, he's not worth the headspace!

londongirl12 · 22/08/2025 20:40

Yep, if it’s flakey now, it won’t get better down the line! I don’t think this one is for you. Don’t settle!!

walkingismedicine · 22/08/2025 20:39

You obviously enjoy different things, nothing wrong with that

CutiePieOk · 22/08/2025 20:38

Married? Having an affair

Painrelief · 22/08/2025 20:32

Could he be married ? That was my first thought ….

Original poster
RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:32

oldclock · 22/08/2025 20:30

You seem to be going out with a 15 year old boy. Why would he be even vaguely attractive as a partner?

He's 37!

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 22/08/2025 20:31

RachelTopliss · 22/08/2025 20:27

I don't mind spending time in the pub but not to the point of getting totally hammered.

That’s fine for you, but unless it’s every weekend there’s really nothing wrong with someone else enjoying this. Hence I think you’re just incompatible really and that’s not his fault or yours, just you want, enjoy and are looking for different things.

nomas · 22/08/2025 20:31

Dump him now.

oldclock · 22/08/2025 20:30

You seem to be going out with a 15 year old boy. Why would he be even vaguely attractive as a partner?