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AIBU?

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Original poster

Biological sex should be shared with potential relationships/ONS/dates.

133 replies

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:35

I think that biological sex should be shared not the gender you think you are/want to be. That's honest and in my opinion respectful.

AIBU
YANBU biological sex should be shared not just chosen gender
YABU no just tell your chosen gender

OP posts:
Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 14:39

Millytante · 22/08/2025 14:04

Not the main point of the OP but my god, I’m on tenterhooks now awaiting the sentencing.
Will this be yet another male crime inked into the female column, and will this bloke be demanding placement in a female prison?

(I hope societal transphobia isn’t wheeled out by the usual suspects, but I do wonder if the victim here is permitted his outrage more willingly by that cadre than would a lesbian with the same complaint about the offender.
In the first example, a chap is generally granted the right to object to sex with a certain body type/ biological sex, whereas it’s decreed by TAs that women wanting women must shag men who claim to be women.)

Not sure what sentencing is for sexual assault cases, but it should fit in the guidelines for that.

OP posts:
Account734 · 22/08/2025 14:38

Definitely biological sex needs to be shared and not gender. I don't care what people fantasise they are, I care what they actually are. I'm married so it doesn't impact me but if I wasn't I'm straight and I would never consent to a same sex liaison. To trick someone into it is disgraceful. Completely agree it's sexual assault.

Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 14:36

Millytante · 22/08/2025 14:04

Not the main point of the OP but my god, I’m on tenterhooks now awaiting the sentencing.
Will this be yet another male crime inked into the female column, and will this bloke be demanding placement in a female prison?

(I hope societal transphobia isn’t wheeled out by the usual suspects, but I do wonder if the victim here is permitted his outrage more willingly by that cadre than would a lesbian with the same complaint about the offender.
In the first example, a chap is generally granted the right to object to sex with a certain body type/ biological sex, whereas it’s decreed by TAs that women wanting women must shag men who claim to be women.)

"Will this be yet another male crime inked into the female column, and will this bloke be demanding placement in a female prison?"

I hope not since it's clearly committed by a man.

OP posts:
FOJN · 22/08/2025 14:20

Yes you should have to disclose something as significant as biological sex, it's not acceptable to conceal something which would affect someone's decision to have sex with you.

I don't want to comment too much on this case except to say that a filtered, social media photo did not perform oral sex and, unless the victim is Bill Clinton, the fact that it happened several times without reciprocity raises questions for me.

AirborneElephant · 22/08/2025 14:11

Largeherbivore · 22/08/2025 14:04

Disclosure, Shorts: 2. Should I Tell You I'm Trans?: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0bqqgq8

I found some of the views in this programme really troubling. I get that people view it as deeply personal, but your right to privacy doesn't trump my right to informed consent. If you aren't comfortable to share this information, you shouldn't be having sex. No one has a right to sex.

I agree. If you don’t tell someone when you’re dating that’s lying and to me is crap behaviour but not illegal, and I can understand some might feel differently. But if you don’t tell someone before sexual activity it’s straightforward assault as shown by this case. Consent through deception is not informed consent.

Heyhelga · 22/08/2025 14:11

Yes certainly because let's face it what good relationship is ever built on deciet, but you can normally tell from the profile pictures anyway.

CrispySquid · 22/08/2025 14:08

DiscoBob · 22/08/2025 13:44

I'd expect someone to say they were a trans man or trans woman if they were biologically different from their identity. Many people wouldn't want to date a trans person. So they would feel deceived to not be told up front.

Exactly. It’s deceit on purpose. And I don’t understand their claims of “it would be unsafe to tell them” either because a) surely it’s a lot more unsafe if you don’t tell someone and they find out in a more intimate setting later and b) you can declare it on your dating profile or tell them when you’re first messaging them. Means the other person is aware up front and can decide if they want to continue pursuing you or not.

I would be absolutely livid if someone didn’t make this clear to me. I don’t want to date a trans person so want to know this information.

As somebody else said, a trans persons right to privacy does not trump another persons right to informed consent.

Millytante · 22/08/2025 14:07

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:50

Rape by deception is a criminal offence, despite Stonewalls best efforts to make it lawful so yes, everyone should be made to disclose.

I remember an aawful situation where I think it was a popular magazine set up a young lesbian on a date with a man (fairly successfully) masquerading as a lesbian. The poor girl would have been tarred with a ‘transphobia’ accusation had she shown any revulsion when she was told so she just had to smile and pretend she was ok. An utterly cruel thing to do but totally supported by many.

So many trans activists claim that gender ideology is not homophobic but denying same sex attraction is the very definition of homophobia.

Apologies, I’ve pretty much reiterated your points just now.
(Took so long to type out my remarks because steam was issuing from my ears and nostrils, so I overlooked many comments)

Millytante · 22/08/2025 14:04

Not the main point of the OP but my god, I’m on tenterhooks now awaiting the sentencing.
Will this be yet another male crime inked into the female column, and will this bloke be demanding placement in a female prison?

(I hope societal transphobia isn’t wheeled out by the usual suspects, but I do wonder if the victim here is permitted his outrage more willingly by that cadre than would a lesbian with the same complaint about the offender.
In the first example, a chap is generally granted the right to object to sex with a certain body type/ biological sex, whereas it’s decreed by TAs that women wanting women must shag men who claim to be women.)

Largeherbivore · 22/08/2025 14:04

Disclosure, Shorts: 2. Should I Tell You I'm Trans?: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0bqqgq8

I found some of the views in this programme really troubling. I get that people view it as deeply personal, but your right to privacy doesn't trump my right to informed consent. If you aren't comfortable to share this information, you shouldn't be having sex. No one has a right to sex.

TooBigForMyBoots · 22/08/2025 14:00

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:54

Even so, he should have told the young man (age 21) that he was a biological man who chose the gender female before performing a sex act on him.

Show quote history

Definitely. YANBU @allusernamesaretakennow.

Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:59

5128gap · 22/08/2025 13:57

Well I guess it doesn't much matter what any of us think does it? Judge has ruled and precedent set.

True. Glad the judge has common sense and used biological reality when this case was heard.

OP posts:
Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:58

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:56

There may not be any preview pane or details to this by the BBC. It was buried anlmost immediately after publication as the trans activists didn’t like the truth coming out. The BBC are hugely biased in favour of trans.

I'd not seen this article before. The truth is the truth and people shouldn't be shamed into sex or coerced and always should chose. To many/most people a lesbian is a biological female attracted to another biological female not to a man who has decided he is a female.

OP posts:
5128gap · 22/08/2025 13:57

Well I guess it doesn't much matter what any of us think does it? Judge has ruled and precedent set.

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:56

There may not be any preview pane or details to this by the BBC. It was buried anlmost immediately after publication as the trans activists didn’t like the truth coming out. The BBC are hugely biased in favour of trans.

Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:56

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:54

Yes, although some men who ‘identify’ as lesbians don’t worry to much about the deception side of things - they just use coercion. covered here.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57853385?app-referrer=deep-link

Show quote history

Another awful issue and again sexual assault by coercion or shaming someone into having sex is completely wrong. Chose is vitally important in who someone wants to have sex with.

OP posts:
Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:54

TooBigForMyBoots · 22/08/2025 13:52

That filter is doing some very heavy lifting.🙈

Show quote history

Even so, he should have told the young man (age 21) that he was a biological man who chose the gender female before performing a sex act on him.

OP posts:
BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:54

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:41

Would this also apply as sexual assault if a trans woman pretended to be a lesbian and had sex with a lesbian real woman? Again, not completely informed consent.

Yes, although some men who ‘identify’ as lesbians don’t worry to much about the deception side of things - they just use coercion. covered here.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57853385?app-referrer=deep-link

TooBigForMyBoots · 22/08/2025 13:52

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:44

If you look at his snapchat picture he looks like a woman. Obviously airbrushed massively. Meet up, drinks and the 21 year old male had oral sex performed on him by a man, hence not informed consent since he thought it was a woman, even if not as woman like as the snapchat picture sent shown.

Show quote history

That filter is doing some very heavy lifting.🙈

Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:52

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:50

Rape by deception is a criminal offence, despite Stonewalls best efforts to make it lawful so yes, everyone should be made to disclose.

I remember an aawful situation where I think it was a popular magazine set up a young lesbian on a date with a man (fairly successfully) masquerading as a lesbian. The poor girl would have been tarred with a ‘transphobia’ accusation had she shown any revulsion when she was told so she just had to smile and pretend she was ok. An utterly cruel thing to do but totally supported by many.

So many trans activists claim that gender ideology is not homophobic but denying same sex attraction is the very definition of homophobia.

Wow that's an awful thing to do.

OP posts:
BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 13:50

Rape by deception is a criminal offence, despite Stonewalls best efforts to make it lawful so yes, everyone should be made to disclose.

I remember an aawful situation where I think it was a popular magazine set up a young lesbian on a date with a man (fairly successfully) masquerading as a lesbian. The poor girl would have been tarred with a ‘transphobia’ accusation had she shown any revulsion when she was told so she just had to smile and pretend she was ok. An utterly cruel thing to do but totally supported by many.

So many trans activists claim that gender ideology is not homophobic but denying same sex attraction is the very definition of homophobia.

Kreepture · 22/08/2025 13:49

Yes, you should definitely disclose before any sexual activity if you're Trans. People have a right to make informed consent.

Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:48

Sends a message to others that chose to deceive:

"Sarah Nelson, Senior Crown Prosecutor at CPS North East, said: 'It is clear from the evidence in this case that, prior to engaging in sexual activity with the victim, Watkin had made no attempt to inform him of her transgender status.
'The Crown Prosecution Service has shown that, by failing to disclose this to him, it would not have been possible for him to give informed consent to sexual activity.
'The victim has made clear in police interview that he would not have engaged in sexual activity had he known that Watkin was transgender and, consequently, these events have had a significant impact on his mental wellbeing.
'We hope that he can take some comfort from seeing Watkin convicted for these serious sexual offences today.'
Watkin will be sentenced on October 10 at Teesside Crown Court."

OP posts:
Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:46

DiscoBob · 22/08/2025 13:44

I'd expect someone to say they were a trans man or trans woman if they were biologically different from their identity. Many people wouldn't want to date a trans person. So they would feel deceived to not be told up front.

I agree.

Maybe more of an issue with ladyboys since some Asian ladyboys are very female looking and surgery helps with the illusion. I wouldn't want sex with a trans man because I'm not a lesbian and I consider a trans man to still be a biological female not male (even though they chose to live how they 'believe' a male lives) they just aren't male.

OP posts:
Original poster
allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 13:44

ColinOfficeTrolley · 22/08/2025 13:40

As if he couldn't tell 🙄.

If you look at his snapchat picture he looks like a woman. Obviously airbrushed massively. Meet up, drinks and the 21 year old male had oral sex performed on him by a man, hence not informed consent since he thought it was a woman, even if not as woman like as the snapchat picture sent shown.

OP posts: