Biological sex should be shared with potential relationships/ONS/dates.

allusernamesaretakennow · 2025-08-22T12:35:32+00:00

I think that biological sex should be shared not the gender you think you are/want to be. That's honest and in my opinion respectful. AIBU YANBU biological sex should be shared not just chosen gender YABU no just tell your chosen gender

Grigoria · 13/10/2025 20:13

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 14:55

At what point during a date/series of dates do you think I should be legally obliged to start discussing my genitalia OP?

When physical contact moves beyond a handshake or a peck on the cheek.
Before you initiate sexual contact, or immediately before responding if the other person initiates it.
Actually, if neither of the above happens on the first date, I think it would only be fair to "come clean" if/when a second date was on the cards.
HTH.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 13/10/2025 19:58

Yes I agree it should be disclosed

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/10/2025 08:49

Tiredofwhataboutery · 13/10/2025 07:44

I think they should disclose. Although in this case I’m wondering if the victim nededs glasses as I’d struggle to see how it’s not immediately obvious it’s a bloke.

Young and inexperienced. Optimistic.

Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 13/10/2025 08:30

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/10/2025 07:31

Found it. At a prison for men, but with appropriate measures for safety.

Thanks

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Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 13/10/2025 08:29

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/10/2025 07:28

Any idea which jail, men’s or women’s?

Not sure.

However, he's a male so should be in a male prison. Again, a male sexual predator who says he's female'. Too many of them.

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JMSA · 13/10/2025 07:49

YANBU.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 13/10/2025 07:44

I think they should disclose. Although in this case I’m wondering if the victim nededs glasses as I’d struggle to see how it’s not immediately obvious it’s a bloke.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/10/2025 07:31

Found it. At a prison for men, but with appropriate measures for safety.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/10/2025 07:28

Any idea which jail, men’s or women’s?

Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 12/10/2025 16:23

latishia6 · 11/10/2025 10:00

Watkins has now been jailed. 21 months.

Good.

Sexual predator whomis a male in women's clothing. Not female no matter what he says.

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scorpiogirly · 11/10/2025 11:28

Another valid reason why sex matters and should not be muddied.

latishia6 · 11/10/2025 10:00

Watkins has now been jailed. 21 months.

EmpressaurusKitty · 26/08/2025 12:47

So some people really think they have to lie about their sex with anyone they want to be physically involved with, because honesty could put their lives at risk? Regardless of the laws against sex by deception or how the other person might feel?

If they never get themselves into the situation where they have to tell that lie, then there’s no problem. Either find someone who’s happy that you’re trans, or stay celibate. Sorted.

Millytante · 26/08/2025 12:40

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 15:33

Given that being trans is going to be a deal breaker to more people than not, would it not be in your own interests to disclose immediately anyway, to save wasting your own time?

Why is this one-directional though?

If it's an issue for you, surely it's just as practical to ask a potential partner if they are trans and save yourself all that bother than it is to go changing the law or writing new laws to oblige the other person, who, apparently, has no issue at all with you as a potential partner.

Surely it's the person with the issue who needs to be doing the legwork?

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It’s a matter of practical, common sense I’d have thought. The smaller group is vastly outnumbered by the larger, whether or not members of the latter have what you high-handedly term ‘issues’.
(Do you truly believe that the routine reaction to potential sexual exchange with a trans partner one had thought to be genuinely female (to use the present example) will be “Ah, no bother, that’s grand. Onwards!”? )

Therefore isn’t it mere utilitarian sense that the onus re declaration/disclosure be on the minority person? It’s far more likely that majority individual will indeed prefer to be alerted to a pretty unusual situation, than that the minority person be disconcerted to be in their close company. They, after all, know the score already and have selected this potential liaison. (Which you say yourself, after all.)

Kuretake · 26/08/2025 12:18

The brainwashed person will still believe it's possible to change sex when their date tells them that they're trans so that makes no odds here.

AquaFurball · 26/08/2025 12:10

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 15:25

I don't think it's ridiculous at all. It's just another example of something that likely won't be disclosed if it's not directly asked about.

If you don't want to have a relationship with trans people, you could always just ask your potential partners if they are trans rather than trying to shift the onus on to them instead. Supposedly trans people never pass and others can "always tell" anyway, so I'm really not seeing the issue.

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Adult women with experience can tell. A man pretending to be a woman is usually very obvious but surgeries etc can make it more difficult and many young people have been brainwashed into thinking humans can change sex so the onus is on the trans person to be honest about their authentic self or are they trying to have sex by deception?

borntobequiet · 22/08/2025 20:34

OwlBeThere · 22/08/2025 17:10

That may be true, it doesn’t have anything to do with my point, though. Implying that all or e en most trans women are out to lie to people is simply not true. the vast majority are just trying to live their lives safely. Disclosing that information as a trans woman can put her life at risk.

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Disclosing that information as a trans woman can put her life at risk.

The usual exaggeration, based on no evidence whatsoever. Unless you’re referring to transgender South American prostitutes, a different demographic entirely.

Millytante · 22/08/2025 20:33

BettysRoasties · 22/08/2025 17:41

I mean the article I read said the offender told the victim they were on their period. So maybe the young chap isn’t very picky and thought the offender was just a very masculine looking women. Not every gets to be pretty 😅

Ive looked at people before and they could of been either the ones were your young child asks a question and you end up stumped on to if you need to say well that young man or that young lady so fumble along with that person.

Id also imagine for those saying we should ask people on dates if they are trans and putting the onus onto the possible victim. It must be rather insulting to be assumed to be the wrong gender, because if someone asked me if I was trans I’d be leaving thinking I must look manly be very hurt tbh.

I keep misreading a sentence in your comment, so I’ll pile in here. I thought you were observing that not everyone gets to be ‘picky’.
Just so, and there’s always been umpteen blokes around who have a hard time getting girlfriends. This is what I thought had happened here, whereby a rather clueless but very eager man, tanked/even coked? up to boot, thinks he’s got a ticket to ride (so to speak). Once that switch is flipped it’d take wild horses to get him to alter his course.
Details about private parts, or whether those are tits or balled up socks in the bra, might occur to him rather too late.

(You’d imagine women would be less vulnerable to such deception, but that would entail (for example) many clubs holding the line on a women-only policy, and that’s when the feathers start flying of course.
That feeling of elation and relief after the ‘definition’ court ruling has certainly dissipated very fast. The territory is still as mined and treacherous as before)

Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:31

PluckyChancer · 22/08/2025 17:02

Really??
Are you seriously blaming the victim for being sexually assaulted because it was a ONS?

So do you think that anyone into ONS doesn’t deserve legal protection from would be rapists?

It’s very common for young gay men to have ONS and has been this way for years. I have a gay son and I find your attitude horrific and homophobic too!

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100%. Some people go out of their way to victim blame.

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Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:29

Loobylu66 · 22/08/2025 17:28

I agree that ones biological sex needs to be divulged before getting involved with anyone. Its the one thing I drummed into my son who is trans. He has never had a relationship as just not interested right now but he knows if ever he does want to meet someone he needs to let them know on day one that he is biologically female. If he then gets rejected then so be it, at least he would be open and honest and give the person the decision to walk away, even if rejection hurts.

Totally. We all get rejected for many different reasons but honesty is the key here.

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Helleofabore · 22/08/2025 19:27

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:22

Having meat and 2 veg is completely different from not having natural blonde hair. Ask lots of men if they fancy trans women and the vast majority would see that as being gay and unless they are gay or bi. Even with the meat and 2 veg lopped off a lot of people still consider the biological sex of the individual very important and wouldn't want to date the trans person. Isn't everyone allowed to decide whom they don't wish to date, have sex with etc, deception isn't right. Deception of blonde hair rather than say brunette is completely different and you know that.

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The reduction to hair colour is an indication that the person doing it has very little care for a person that they might have a sexual relationship with.

Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:27

BundleBoogie · 22/08/2025 16:30

Which agenda would that be? Respecting the law?

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Respect for the law. Allowing a person to decide which sex as well as which person they wish to have sex with/form relationship with etc. Protecting individuals from sex by deceit, sex agreed to based on deceit isn't consensual sex, hence the guilty verdict. Nothing wrong with any of those 'agendas'. is there.

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Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:22

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 15:15

at what point would you expect to be made aware that you were dating a natal female and not a man as you expected?

Well, this is the thing. That's entirely down to them to disclose, if they so wish, and I do not believe I have any right to "expect" anything.

I appreciate other people might feel differently, but to me an acceptable potential partner is a potential partner regardless, so I don't see it as any different to failure to "disclose" you are not a natural blonde.

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Having meat and 2 veg is completely different from not having natural blonde hair. Ask lots of men if they fancy trans women and the vast majority would see that as being gay and unless they are gay or bi. Even with the meat and 2 veg lopped off a lot of people still consider the biological sex of the individual very important and wouldn't want to date the trans person. Isn't everyone allowed to decide whom they don't wish to date, have sex with etc, deception isn't right. Deception of blonde hair rather than say brunette is completely different and you know that.

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FOJN · 22/08/2025 19:21

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 14:55

At what point during a date/series of dates do you think I should be legally obliged to start discussing my genitalia OP?

You have framed this in such a ridiculous way for shock value.

If you are asked about your biological sex (healthcare for example) do you tell the person asking you have a vagina/penis (delete as appropriate)? Or do you answer female/male or woman/man?

Disclosing biological sex does not require any reference to genitals and it would be absurd to do so. But you knew that.

Original poster

allusernamesaretakennow · 22/08/2025 19:17

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2025 15:03

Ok, so at what point am I supposed to start the discussion about being trans?

Presumably if I don't disclose this the default assumption is that I'm not trans.

So there surely has to be some sort of threshold where this needs brought up, and regardless of my trans status or otherwise, I don't consider it to be the business of someone I've simply encountered on a dating App and agreed to meet for a coffee, so again, at what point would I be legally obliged to disclose my trans status?

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Maybe the dating site could have 'male', 'female', then 'trans women' and' trans man' or 'another gender' to cover all the rest of the genders that some people pick from. Not on any dating sites so not sure what they put but to just deceive is wrong. If I was single I wouldn't want to date a trans woman or a trans man. I also wouldn't want to date a lesbian because I'm not lesbian or a bi sexual person. I respect people who don't want to date me, we are all different and should be allowed to decide whom we would want to date or be attracted to.

Deception is wrong, hence sexual assault charge and conviction.

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